best friends...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by pheonix, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. pheonix

    pheonix Member

    my best friend is in this acting agency and she is always going places for movie shoots. i dont know if its jealousy, but i feel really crappy because she has this acting thing and i really dont have anything like this. i play guitar and i am really into art, but so is every other kid in high school. whenever i want her to check out some of my new artwork or a song that i just wrote, she pretty much just blows me off. it seems to me (and it probobly is just me) that she kind of gets everything. she has amazing grades (now matter how much i study i still fail almost everything, and all the jokes from everyone about me being and idiot dont really help), she has a whole bunch of friends (im the total outcast just because i dont think like everyone else, i dont listen to mainstream music, i read shakespeare, kerouac, and timothy leary, im buddhist and a vegetarian.), and she has a boyfriend that gives her everything (i dont even want a boyfriend and im not materialistic, i just dont want someone bragging about that all the time). she'll ditch me to go make out with her boyfriend when we are all hanging out and that really pisses me off. whenever i tell her that she just says "what are you talking about? i dont ditch you". AHHHHH!!! im feel so...i dont even know.

    i dont know what the point of posting this is...but if feels good to rant a bit. thanks for reading

    ~mallory~
     
  2. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    :confused: and you call her your best friend when she'll dump you to make out, not bring you into her circle of friends, rub her accomplishments in your face?
    ummm
    casual friend maybe. best friend, nuh-uh
     
  3. pheonix

    pheonix Member

    well...it used to be better...but lately its been...well...that^^^
     
  4. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    I've been in your shoes. Well, similar, anyway. It's just what happens in life. Not all of your friends will stick around forever. Some of them will move on to do their own things. You WILL, however, meet people with whom you will remain friends for the lifetime. It's just that no one knows when, or how, you will meet such people.

    Stay positive!








    Oh my god, I should listen to myself.... *disappears*
     
  5. Gypsy_girl

    Gypsy_girl Member

    I don't think she's much of a 'best' friend, sounds like she brags about her accomplishments and is never into anything you want to show her or anything you could achieve in. Honestly I'd try and meet like-minded people at a jam session or artist's group, Buddhists (you sound like you ahve plenty of interests) and try forming some friendships wit them, or try and make friends with a new student who arrives etc. Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not telling you to dump your friend or anything like that, but I do suggest making some others besides her.

    Hpoe that helps and good luck :)
     
  6. pheonix

    pheonix Member

    your probobly right gybsy girl. i should try to find like-minded people, but there is really nothing around where i live for anything that i like. (i think that makes sense)
     
  7. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    why not start with your local UU church? No kidding. ours has special meetings for the Buddhists, artists, musicians, and other groups, too. You should be able to find people who share your interests and won't treat you like a used piece of chewing gum when it's not convenient for them to be your friend. I met my best friend at the UU church when I was 10 or 11, and we are still best of friends today.
     
  8. Brand New Soul

    Brand New Soul Senior Member

    I used to feel that way about my bestfriend. She has a lot of things I don't have see goes places I'll never be able to see she has tones of friends a boyfriend and she gets amazing grades. But I don;t feel jelouse anymore cause I dunno I guess I just grew up and stop being such an idoit no offence. But what I realize is that she deserves to be happy as she has went through though times. She deserves lots of friends because she is an amazing person and she likeable. She deserves a signifacnt other because she deserves happyness. And she deserves all the good things in her life because she trys to be the best person she can be.

    And what I realiezed is that it wasn't her I was angry with it was myself. I didn't like the fact that I was pushing everyone away, that I didn;t try hard enough in school to say I deserved good grades. And I abused our relationship which was stupid, but she stuck by me.

    I don't think its her thats pissing you off I think your pissing off your self. Deep down you are probley a wonderful person. You'll grow past this hopefully, and you won;t feel this way anymore.


    But as others have said in here find other friends don't be dependant on just her. She may not be prefect, no one is. I really hope that you guys can get past this cause a best friend is a great thing to have. And if you do part ways who knows you might lose someone who you will miss the rest fo your life.
    Good Luck
     
  9. cutelildeadbear

    cutelildeadbear Hip Forums Gym Rat

    Plus, appearances can be deceiving. You don't really know what is going on inside with her. I used to feel this way about a friend of mine who just got given everything in life. A house, cars, everything. She always fell in to luck. Thing is that it wasn't her fault. She wasn't doing anything wrong or hurtful to anyone else, just how things happened for her. I have things she doesn't have like an education, and the abilty to travel (she has a child and a new husband). And who knows if she is really happy. So while I went through a phase where I was really jealous of her, I got over it. I got over it because I was really happy for her and I wanted her to be happy as well. And I was more happy with myself.

    I have this other "friend" that I work out with though. She pisses me off... on my birthday, she ditched me for some guy at the bar, ok , so he was friend, but she ignored me on MY birthday. How rude. Then the next night we went out again, and once again she ditched me for some random guy. Then a couple of weeks later I gave her one more chance, and she did it yet again. Leaving me sit at the bar looking like a fool while she ran off throwing herself at some guy she doesn't know. This time it wasn't jealousy, she is just rude and selfish. And I do not let myself get treated that way. So I just stopped going out with her. Now she begs me and begs me because she claims I'm so much fun to hang out with and I straight up just tell her, I don't like being invited places then left there when you find something more interesting to do. I don't go out with her anymore. We still go to the gym together and she comes over, but I will not go out with her because friends don't treat each other that way.

    So you have to decide. Is this person treating you poorly? Or are you jealous because they have something that you want? If it is the former, then get rid of them or at least keep them at a distance and make new friends. If it is the latter then you are going to have to work on yourself some and learn how to be happy for others, even if your life isn't perfect.

    Good luck.
     
  10. nightwriter

    nightwriter Member

    If you study but fail most things, ask your counselor to test you for a learning disability.

    Try to expand your horizons outside of her circle. You and your friend are at a transition age from child to adult...changes are on the way and sometimes they can be uncomfortable but sometimes you end up in an even better place than when you started.
     

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