Being submissive

Discussion in 'Real Kinky' started by new_sub, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. new_sub

    new_sub Guest

    I've just recently discovered that i believe I'm a submissive. I've always had the fantasy of being raped, but i thought that was the extent of it. After some reading I'm pretty sure it's way more than that. Actually it has taken over my sleeping and waking thoughts. I don't even fantasize about regular sex anymore. Anyway, I'm embarrassed to tell hubby the extent of my feelings. I'm afraid he will think there's something wrong with me or he won't be into it as much as me. For anyone who's ever been in this position, how did you bring it up?
  2. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    So how would you get a guy to fulfil your fantasy of being r...d without asking him.
  3. new_sub

    new_sub Guest

    the matter of how to go about bringing it up to him or if I should just do it one night. if your wife just asked you to totally dominate her out of the blue how would you feel about it? I'm just not sure how to bring it up to him if I should discuss it first or just go for it.
  4. creampie00

    creampie00 If you can't DODGE it....RAM it!

    This sounds familiar, I felt the same way. One day I told him I had something to ask him about our sex and I didn't want him to be shocked. He said nothing I could say would shock him. So I basically just blurted it out....honey, I want you to smack me around and brutally have your way with me, I cannot stop thinking about it. He was way cool and said it sounded interesting, that he would love to try it. he's been tossing me around and dominating me for quite some time now and we both love it. It's not like it's real rape. I hope your hubby understands!
  5. Vongaelly

    Vongaelly AcidLinkTest Lifetime Supporter

    Gay guy here. I have always been like.. The lady.. Of such things.. But recently I have been so into being like.. Really submissive, it's awesome.
  6. nadollar

    nadollar Guest

    I too, have always fantasised about rape and submission. Years ago I remember how hard it was for me to admit this to my partner, but so worth it when he agreed to experiment. It has changed sex for me forever, and in a very very good way!

    The way I went about it, was to start a conversation about fantasies. It went along the lines of, "you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine." It's a great way to start a conversation about what things you both might want to try to give inspiration and open up new opportunities.
  7. Vongaelly

    Vongaelly AcidLinkTest Lifetime Supporter

    It's always good to discuss stuff like that with your partner.. It makes sex allot more personal and fun (and fair haha)
  8. Jennak

    Jennak Guest

    You're going to love being a submissive in bed!! My hubby is totally responsible for our sex life and my orgasms and he never disappoints! He decides what we do and even when we do it. Even if I'm not exactly in the mood he takes me anyway, which is kind of fun, so I know what you mean by your rape fantasy. He even has sex with me when I'm sleeping. I'll wake up some mornings to find he's going at it! I'm glad he enjoys my vagina so much though, and he gives me incredible orgasms. Having him take control of my body taps into his male drive to dominate and I'm sure your hubby would love it to. Just be open and ask him! You won't regret it because it is so freeing to just show up for sex and be satisfied!
  9. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Maybe there needs to be a another word used instead of raped if you allow someone you love to have sex with you but when they want to & not planned between you beforehand.
  10. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    I love to watch those submission porn videos.

    I've told my husband several times I'd love to be tied up and that he could do whatever he wanted with me. After years of letting him know about my bondade fantasies, we went shopping for toys and bought straps for my wrists. My husband only used it once. He put it on me and sat down on the couch... and asked for a blowjob. That was all I had. No touching me. As we were already doing without the straps. It would have been nice if he would have at least demanded it, instead of asking politely, since it was supposed to be a sub/dom fantasy thing. After the deed, I've explained my feelings about it, but it never happened again.

    I'd guess most men don't have it in them to be dominant in the way women would like it. In those videos, women are consensually "used," but they also get a lot of orgasms, nice things done to them. That sounds attractive.

    Sometimes I tell things to my husband like this "if I was married, I'd come home and dinner wasn't waiting on the table, I'd get the bitch tied to the bed and I'd stick my dick in her mouth, and fuck her throat sore." He never acted on my not-subtle-at-all invitation.

    I hope for you, your husband has it in him to be dominant.

    If he doesn't, just understand it's a matter of the kind of personality he has, not that he's just denying it to you to be mean.

    Talk to him about your fantasies. There's a huge probability he has fantasies of his own. And if his fantasies are about being sucked by multiple blonds with big boobs, don't go angry at him. Just consider making it come true to him, if you're OK with it. If you aren't, at least be understanding.
  11. Mothman

    Mothman Senior Member

    Ha, I would have tied my girl down, put an apple in her mouth and spanked her ass with a frying pan. Maybe slapped her in the face with a few food items. Smeared some mashed taters on her and then maybe a nice cold cucumber in her oven. Then I would eat a sammich while she blew me.
  12. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    If it'd ever happen to me this way you describe, I would hate it. I can't take the whole food-and-sex thing.

    But I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who love food-sex stuff. Whatever rocks their world!!
  13. Mothman

    Mothman Senior Member

    You fell right into my evil trap :devil:

    First you said"I've told my husband several times I'd love to be tied up and that he could do WHATEVER he wanted with me."

    And then you said "I'd guess most men don't have it in them to be dominant in the way women would like it."

    That's where I think the problem is. We are just supposed to get it right even though every woman is different. Some chicks would get off on the food abuse but YOU would hate it. Some might like the rough play but would be bored cuz she was hoping the guy would abuse her with food...after all dinner wasn't ready and you did say whatever he wants!

    Now you are saying "If it'd ever happen to me THIS WAY you describe, I would HATE it. I can't take the whole food-and-sex thing."

    You literally said you would hate wouldn't that kill the mood? I would sense that and feel like shit afterward and so would your dude...

    I mean if you have to instruct him on the details of what you want done or not done in advance... then he's not really in charge and it kinda defeats the purpose ya dig?

    If he would have taken your *I didn't cook dinner and need to be punished* hint(yes I know that's not exactly what you said) then he may have stumbled right into the above scenario if he got creative and gave it a shot. I mean it's dominant and rough and in line with getting pissed about not having dinner ready isn't it?

    Just some food for thought...

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