When I'm home alone and like my parents are gone .. I get super paranoid. I go to the kitchen and grab a knife & keep it by my side.. I feel like someone is going to rape me and/or kill me. >.< (and I always sleep with a knife underneath my pillow at night.) Am i crazy ? :/
Crazy or not being ignorant of your environment. I would suggest you find a good martial arts/self defense class.
Were you attacked in the past? Do you know where this fear comes from? It sounds dangerous to sleep with a knife under your pillow.
Idk. well. .. I think it comes from my dad.. When I was little he used to always be randomly destructive. He always had this rage in him..and he was abusive towards my mom and other women he "knew".. maybe that's why, .. to think about it now.
if you're afraid of your dad, why do you get the knife when he's not there? you should be afraid of cutting your throat in your sleep.
The first time my brother stayed home alone he hid under the table with a knife till someone came home. He was just a kid though.
Unless you enjoy it what you've got to do is control your mind, is all in there, and no one ever no freaking pill can do the job for you so you'll die with that unless you alone treat it. Remember when they made us do lines on school? Well, they kinda had a point, the more you repeat something, anything, more conductive the paths of neurons in your brain for that thing will be. The more you are scared, the more you'll be able to be scared, you're practicing it. So be good to yourself and try to feel love instead of fear. Tips: With your blabling mind tell your other mind to feel love. Think: if they'll kill me they will, I won’t be scared until the murder is in my face (ignore him while he's making a racket coming upstairs) Do lines in your head, practice feeling brave. And practice love.
