Being comfortable with my body, water sports or devotee

Hi there,

I am kind of new to this forum and wanted to bring up a topic that I have always struggled with and don’t know how to think about it in a positive lens. I have cerebral palsy and have minor bladder spasms throughout the day and sometimes at night. I’ve been working on myself and getting healthier, both physically and mentally.

I am on Hinge and I have been more confident and discerning of who I am attracted to. I used to “like” guys that I only found somewhat attractive because I felt bad being exclusive. I feel better being authentic in this way and I would like some advice on how to have the right frame of mind when I’m in the dating field.

I want to reframe my challenges as something a guy might find attractive. I have been with a guy before for a couple months and none of the above was an issue. I was wondering how I can think about my sexuality in terms of something that might be neutral or positive. I truly appreciate any advice you can give.

Thanks!

 

Years ago now, I knew a guy from Canada who had MS and confined to a wheelchair; he also had big time problems with his heart but as far as his bisexuality went? He was the most upbeat person I'd ever met and he didn't let his medical issues become a burden or barrier to him being the man he wanted to be. He was impressive; smart, amazing sense of humor; made it clear that he was a poster child for being horny.

I not only got a chance to meet him, I got the chance to have sex with him and, whew, yeah, he wasn't lying about how horny and randy he was and his personality was so dazzling that I wasn't thinking about the fact that he couldn't use his legs at all - but his cock worked just fine and, man, could he bring a big load of cum! I fucked him and I hadn't enjoyed fucking a guy in a long time like I was enjoying him and, again, his attitude was so positive that it overrode his physical difficulties and, hands down, it was the best two hours I'd ever spent with a guy.

The key to him was his outlook on life; he refused to be negative about having MS or having a heart that could fail him at any moment. I thought that I was very real and open about being bisexual, but I learned some stuff from him about not letting other steal the joy in being bisexual and, well, that's the advice I'd have for you. Be positive; don't look at your medical issues as a hinderance and just embrace your sexuality. Dating is always a clusterfuck but you don't enter this minefield thinking that you won't be successful and I found that when I'm meeting guys, I don't expect anything and take things from one moment to the next. If he shows up, that's a plus; if we have a good conversation, that's another plus. If he wants to go somewhere to have sex, yet another plus.

You have to believe in yourself; you always think about your sexuality in positive ways because anything else is defeatist and counterproductive and it's important to not let any failures steal your joy... or letting others try to steal it.

I don't know what eventually happened to him but I suspect he died but I will always remember him as one of the most amazing bi guys I have ever met...