"Been naughty" fantasy talk during spanking

So it turns out my girlfriend likes a bit of spanking, which is all good fun. I can get into some dirty talk with her during a variety of sexual situations, but recently I've been spanking her, and the conversation goes like this:

Her: "Have I been naughty?"
Me: "Yes." (Something along those lines)
Her: "What have I done?"

At this point I'm a bit stumped by the fantasy. Is it better for example to keep it close to reality but sexual (like saying for example that she's been wearing short skirts and flirting with other guys or something), or I could say something like she wasn't sucking my dick deep enough or something directly related to our sex....otherwise I could get a bit 1970s and criticize her cleaning skills....or tell her she's naughty merely for enjoying it?

Any ideas?

 

I read this earlier and couldn't stop thinking of it since...haha. I have an idea. Maybe tell her she's being punished for not talking dirty enough to you and for not telling you what she wants you to do to her. That opens up alot of opportunities for both of you. If she gives you a response like 'you didn't ask' smack her harder and tell her you shouldn't have to ask...

 

Well, first of all it would be helpful (I would think) to know more about your girlfriend's desire for spanking. In my experience there can be very different reasons why a (spankophile) woman would desire to be spanked. Some women (and when I say "women" from now on, I'm speaking of women who want to be spanked, not all women in general) like to be spanked because they get off on the power exchange between the two of you. These women like to be a little submissive (or a lot submissive) in the bedroom and spanking is a pretty intense and immediate way for the power exchange to occur. Other women enjoy pain (of varying degrees), or the feeling after the pain (the tingle) and spanking is any easy and relatively safe way to deliver some pain.

Then there are some women who get off on spanking because it provides catharsis for their guilty conscience (among other things). My first adult girlfriend was like this and wanted me to spank her to alleviate the guilt she felt. She *hated* the actual spanking, she hated pain, but she loved how she felt afterwards: "clean, peaceful, forgiven, high, my slate is clean" these are all words she used to describe how she felt after a spanking. She also loved the time before, when she knew she was "in trouble" and was going to get a spanking. She would sometimes call me at work and confess some thing, and I'd scold her and tell her she was in for it when I got home. She would get so excited, so turned-on by the time I got home, that her face was flush and she was breathing heavily when I walked in the door. She loved being dominated (overtly in the bedroom, and clandestinely outside of it) emotionally and physically. She liked me being in control and making rules up for her that she had to follow (which made her feel very loved, safe and secure). I won't go on about it all, but I just wanted to illustrate how powerful and extensive a woman's (or a man's) desire might be to be spanked. It was a lot to handle for a 19-year-old guy, but it was one of the most exciting, erotic, intense, thrilling experiences of my life.

Of course there are various combinations of the above, meaning some women like the catharsis and the pain, or they don't want to be dominated and just love the tingle, you get the idea. The point is, it is really helpful to probe your partner to find out *why* she wants to be spanked. It may just be that being spanked feels "naughty" and that's as far as it goes, or it could be that she has a significant masochistic streak and so far you have only seen the proverbial tip of the iceberg. Sit down with her and in a very non-judgmental way ask her to share more about her desire to be spanked. Because, really, the only way you can get good suggestions for "dirty talk" (or actions) that will turn her on, is if you have more information about what she wants.

That being said, based upon what you've told us, I think it would be helpful to ask her what she's done to be "naughty". Do this outside the bedroom, when you aren't "under the gun" so to speak. Pick a time when you are both relaxed and feeling good and can speak intimately (I think she might be pleased that you're interested and thinking about such things at times other than when you're both naked). Find out what things in her life she wishes she could change, or things she does that she wishes she didn't do (nothing major, just a couple of little things that wouldn't hurt her feelings). For example, maybe she bites her nails. In the bedroom you could ask her, "did you bite your nails today?" Then, if she says yes, you would have a good, mutually-agreed-upon reason to scold her for being naughty and for spanking her. Perhaps you already know about some little, non-threatening things she does that are "naughty", like: occasional lateness, using up all the hot water, leaving her clothes strewn around the room, forgetting to wash the dishes after you've cooked dinner, or taking too long in the bathroom. This might really turn her on outside of the bedroom as well, heightening and extending your intimate/erotic connection. During the day if she does one of these "naughty" things, she might text you and confess. Then you could tell her she's going to get it when she gets home. It could be a really fun way for you to play with each other during the day and to build up the excitement for sex before you even get near the bedroom.

You asked whether you should say something like "she's flirting with other guys" or her criticize her cleaning skills. At first I think it would be best to keep the "naughty" things she does light-hearted, don't use anything that might hurt her feelings or be a sore spot between the two of you. Make it something playful, but real, that won't upset her if you accuse her of doing such things. If she turns out to be like my girlfriend was, someone that wants you to hold her accountable for serious issues in her life, then that's another story. At first though, I'd keep it light and playful. Discuss with her what things she thinks she does that are "naughty" and suggest some of your own that are non-threatening. It may be that the "naughty" things she wants to be accused of are sexual (as you suggested), but you'll only know that if you ask her. So... ask.

I hope you don't find this answer is too long, but I wish I'd had someone to discuss these things with when I was 19 and spanking my girlfriend for the first time, so I'm full of ideas! You are one *lucky* guy to have such a playful girlfriend, unafraid to tell you what she wants and to experiment. It's great that you've asked for suggestions and ideas! I hope you'll continue to reward these wonderful qualities in her by sincerely probing her about this desire and listening well. Please tell us (if you don't mind sharing) how things went after you've tried some new things.

 

I love being spanked.. I love being submissive... if she is really into this and asks you (in this moment) what has she done wrong.. well my Sir would say "for being a dirty little slut" its a good starting point haha. .. by the way.. i would reply saying yes but i'm your filthy slut.. and it goes on from there... imagination is key, personalize it, keep it sexual