BDSM getting started

I would like to try with my wife but not sure if she would be into it or not.

 

I have a questionnaire thread ,I am working on ,which will help establish likes and boundaries .That may help .

 

Is it the media stigma of BDSM that your partner is likely to object to ?

If you give me some details I will try and help you overcome her objections or if you prefer send me a PM .

I will be happy to help if I can

 

Just not sure if she would be in to it or how far she would go.

 

Okay.I will be doing a thread shortly about setting boundaries .

 

Interesting thread. When my wife and I became empty nesters, we looked for ways to use our new freedom to add some spark to our sex life. She had also recently lost weight and looked damn hot, which she enjoyed, and loved showing off her new body. Anyway, we looked into what I considered soft BDSM - spanking, restraints, toys, a little biting, etc. Lots of fun for a while but it wore off. I liked it more than she did.
Kind of like to get it going again . . .

 

We also like soft BDSM,which is basically anything than normal vanilla sex. Role Playing we love as it adds fun . The worse you are at acting the funnier and more enjoyable it is

 

Me three! Vanilla can be so boring.

 

"BDSM" isn't an "it". It's tens of thousands of different its. You need to be more specific about what exactly you want to try, so your wife can tell you in reply whether she would be into that. Hint, if one of you wants to be spanked, the other has to be a willing spanker.

Your starting point, since you asked, is to identify something in particular or a few very particular things within the very broad category of BDSM that interest you, and ask your wife if she is willing to do them with you, to be the yin to your yang.

Telling her you want to try rope play isn't enough. You have to tell her whether she'd be the one doing the binding or the one bound. It isn't like missionary-position sex for which one of you has an innie and one of you has an outie, and it is obvious what goes where. If one of you is solidly dominant or sadistic and can only get off on expressing that way, the other has to at least be willing to play at being submissive or masochistic for this to work.

Be specific about the activity and your respective roles. Do not ask her: "Would you like to try BDSM?" It's a completely meaningless question.

 

Our light BDSM consisted of pretend forced sex (absolutely no hitting) and the use of restraints. Usually, I would use old silk neckties or similar material to tie her spread-eagle on the bed and gently "torture" her, which was actually teasing with feathers, candles, household objects, and such. When she was ready, I would bring her to near orgasm and stop, which usually meant she was begging me to take her over the edge, more teasing, then intercourse to bring her to a climax,, pulling out to ejaculate on her body. We never went beyond those limits.

 

Thats something both partners need to agree on is boundaries when playing with BDSM and also Safe words are vitally important

The key is to play safely and with both of your boundaries .

 

One thing I learned is it's a good thing to discuss it if it's something that you or partner likes to explore. If you both like it, it's a huge advantage as a plus. Also don't ever attempt it if someone think it's taboo or it's a fear of beingtied up or was a victim of the circumstance of be sexually abuse. I enjoy it & there's someone who I know who wants to do it with me. The only thing that we've haven't done it with one another, we're both married & our partners are not for it. I'm trying to find a way to meet up with this woman & she's trying to figure out a way too. It's frustrating as hell.

 

Had a few experiences with a female Dom. She started me off slow with some light slapping and some bondage. The new week it was electrical shock on my balls and nipples. After a few weeks of that we did some drug assisted penetration. What I mean we both got waste and dropped all our inhibitions. We been getting together for two years now and also included other. Great experience.

 

Hubby's friend tied my hands behind my back and spanked my bare Ass before he fucked me! Is that BDSM ?

 

I would say it is. But I could be wrong. I'm sorry if I had offended you or anyone else with my response to your post.

 

All's Good! And it was Exciting for Us!

 

I bet. I can only imagine.

 

I think it is. Either way it's fun!

 

Sounds like a good thing.

 

I like to tie her up and blindfold her. She says it heightens all of her senses and the feelings. But, we're looking to upgrade from just ropes and a scarf for a blindfold. Might have a private gift opening this Christmas with these wrapped nicely in a present.