Bad Trip - Hospitalized - My confession

My first bad trip

Age: 19
Date: October 10th, 2011
Dose: 7g mushrooms + 4 hits LSD

*I wrote this in notepad so the formatting is messed up, sorry.

I had done LSD twice prior to this experience, and mushrooms three times. I had tripped quite a lot on 2C-E as well as salvia.
I considered myself moderately experienced with psychedelics. I had never tripped very deep, even with up to 100mg of 2C-E. I was
very eager to get a really deep meaningful experience. I'd heard that tripping alone would alow your mind to really let go, to
not have someone there with you to ground you in reality. Well, from my experience that's completely true.

It was the day before thanksgiving. I had just bought 7g of mushrooms and 4 hits of LSD from a friend. I don't really know why
I decided to trip that night. It was one of the worst times I could've done it (the day before thanksgiving, lots of stuff to
do the next day with family). I initially was going to do it at 9PM but kept putting it off telling myself "it's not a good time
just wait till next week" well by 11PM I decided "fuck it!". I took my 7g of mushrooms and ground them to a powder. I used them
to brew a mushroom tea. I flavoured it with orange juice and sugar. It tasted pretty good. I took the 4 hits of LSD while drinking
my brew.

Within 15 minutes I could feel my stomach twisting and turning. Bubbling on the inside. The mushrooms were at work alright.
At the 30 minute mark I could see the classic mushroom visuals. I looked at my cement floor, a liquid texture, a lot like a bowl
of soup. I had never seen visuals this "loose" before. I shook my head and the world jiggled like a bowl of jell-o. I spent the next
15 minutes looking at items around my room and shaking my head. I decided to put on some psytrance to get myself in the right mindset.
At the 45 minute mark it was only getting more intense. My visuals had taken on a pink/purple hue. I turned off the lights because it
was starting to bother me. The colours weren't as noticeable in the dark, but I found it almost impossible to see anything but my t.v
or computer screen. My vision was polluted with a fuzzy texture much like that of static on a tv. I spent the next 10 minutes or so
trying to get comfortable and fighting the worsening stomach pains. At about an hour in I felt like the LSD was kicking in. My trip
briefly took on a much lighter happier feeling. I turned the lights back on and decided to play my guitar. I felt like I was playing
some really beautiful stuff, but it was probably just the drugs. This whole time I was still trying to fight the stomach pains, but they
were just getting worse and worse. Finally I had had enough, and had to run for a bucket I kept just incase something like this happened.


I puked three or four times, but it was strange. Usually when I puke it's very watery, a large amount, and I won't puke more than once.
But this was different.... I was puking up very small amount and it was all grey mush. It kind of weirded me out because I had just
drank that tea so why wasnt there any water coming out? This sent me into a bad mindset, like something was wrong with me. I stumbled
over to my bed to lay down and try to feel better, but I noticed that everything, and I mean everything, was moving. Usually when I trip
I'll see things move or scurry along in the corner of my eyes, but this stuff was happening right in the center of my vision. I didn't
like that at all. It's like my trip intensified 10x after I had puked. I got into bed, colours flying all over the walls. I felt things
crawling up my legs but reasoned with myself it was just my sheets. I tried to keep calm and ride it out, telling myself that fighting
it will only make things worse. I knew I was in this for at least 6 hours, so I tried my best to bring myself back to a happy place...
it wasn't working. All I could think about is "what have you done to yourself? why did you do this the night before thanksgiving? what
kind of a drugged out loser does this kind of shit to themselves?". It was just an endless cycle of that. I jump out of bed and run to
my computer. I go to google and type in "how to stop an lsd trip help me". I can't even read the words on the screen. I don't know what
happened. Maybe it was because I was in such a panic at the time, I have no clue. But it just made no sense to me why I couldn't read
simple english words. I had been able to read them my whole life and now all of a sudden I'm no longer literate? At this point I thought
I had lost my mind. I was convinced I had gone too far and had permanently wrecked my mind with the drugs I had taken. My mind filled
with the voices of my friends and family saying things like "i told you this would happen" "why would you do this" "you idiot" "you're
fucked now". I pictured myself in a mental institution, locked away from society. My name and face in the paper with the headline: local
teen perma-fried. I tried my best to keep my mind off this topic, telling myself everything will be fine it's just a drug and when it
wears off you'll go back to normal... but in the back of my mind I KNEW I was lying to myself.

I spent what felt like hours trying to calm down. I browsed my favourite sites, justin.tv and youtube. I opened up a stream on justin.tv
and saw a guy playing some sort of really fucked up computer game. Everyone was half naked and having sex and there were random things
bouncing around... it was nothing that looked familiar to me and this really freaked me out because I didnt know if this was real or I
was just imagining this. I looked at the stream's chat and everyone was extremely negative. Saying things like go kill yourself faggot.
This really got to me. I kept picturing myself slitting my arms and chopping off my fingers. I couldn't get it out of my head. I was
really worried I would actually do the stuff I was thinking... so much so that I had to go grab a pen and paper and write down "do not
hurt yourself!". It seemed to help so I stuck it infront of my screen so I couldn't look away from it. I went back to looking up how to
stop my trip, even thought I knew there was nothing I could do. I guess I got some sort of comfort out of trying. My thoughts only got
worse and worse. I was still convinced I had lost my mind and there was no coming back, and that it was not safe for me to be alone as
I might hurt myself for whatever reason. I was pacing back and forth in my room for at least 15 minutes just talking to myself. I looked
at my clock and it was only 12:45AM. This blew my fucking mind because I thought it would be at least 3AM. That really discouraged me.
I knew I was going to be triping for a very long time and if it was going this slow, it was going to be a nightmare.

The same process repeated itself. Me thinking I had lost my mind, pacing in my room, telling myself I'd be okay but actually thinking
the complete opposite of that. It was now 1:30AM and I had had enough of this. I decided my only option was to go outside. My reasoning
was nature would calm me down, I would be okay once I was away from my room. In my state I couldn't really feel my body all that well.
I was constantly on tippy-toes and flexing my muscles. The idea of going outside and being okay sparked something in my mind. I started
to feel better, no, I felt amazing. I was in a god-like state now. I was untouchable. I sprinted upstairs barefoot and in pyjama pants.
I decided to leave my shoes because I simply didn't need such things. Why would someone who is untouchable need shoes to protect their
feet or a jacket to keep them warm? In my mind I pictured mountain lions ripping at my flesh, me laying on the ground unaffedted, immortal.
I felt such a rush of power, like nothing I had ever felt before, something stimulants and other drugs simply couldn't even touch. I wrote a
letter to my family telling them exactly what I had taken and what had happened. I told them I would leave them in peace for thanksgiving,
and that I was sorry I had done this. My plan was to leave the house and go somewhere for 24 hours to see if I have lost my mind or not. If
I did, I would live the rest of my life in isolation. I know how stupid that is but that's what I thought my options were.

I got outside. It was dark but I could see just fine. Colours filled my vision. I live in a quiet little neighbourhood. Mostly older couples
with very young children. Theres a railroad behind my house that passes through a forested area. I decided I would head for that. I was walking
very slowly, like a cat burglar.I could feel the cold cement against my feet with every step. It felt amazing. The feeling rippled through my
legs and out of my fingers. I was one with the ground I was walking on. I got to the fence and jumped over it with ease. I had the prowess of a
tiger, I felt like I could do just about anything. I finally got the the forest. I found a small clearing and sat down cross legged. I stared
at the sky and the trees and felt the wind on my face. It was amazing. All my senses were boosted. Sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste. I cleared
my mind and closed my eyes. I saw picture perfect images of anything I wanted. I could think of something and there it was. It was astonishing. I had
never experienced anything like this before. I wanted to tell the world how amazing this was. I thought about running to my friends house and waking
him to tell him about my experience, but quickly realized how bad that idea was. I then realized I had left a note to my family describing in great
detail what I had done... oh shit. I need to get home. I shoudn't be outside in my pyjamas with no shoes on in the fucking forest. I jump up and run home.
I don't know how long I spent in that forest but it was starting to get light out now.

I get home to find my mother there. She's read my letter and actually isn't reacting that bad. She's mad that I left the house and tells me how
stupid/dangerous it was to go out in such a state. I'm amazed that she isn't freaking out right now. Images of my childhood flash in my head, me as a baby,
as a child at the zoo, my mother caring for me. Im flooded with emotions and mostly the feeling of love. I tell my mom I love her and give her a big hug.
The next 30 minutes or so is spent sitting on the couch talking to my mom. I'm ranting about how money isn't really real, we just chose to believe in it.
Time isn't real either, it's all just an illusion. Everything in the world is love, we are all connected. We are all just a mass spirit system. Death is nothing.
At this point my mom is starting to get freaked out. I thought our conversation was going great but she's starting to see just how far gone I am. My step dad
wakes up. This is where it starts to get bad. He storms downstairs and my mom tells him what I've done. I can see it in his face. Pure disgust. I can see him
judging me, wishing I wasn't around. I can hear it in his tone as he talks to me. It eats away at me like maggots on a corpse. I try to put it at the back
of my mind. I turn on the T.V and flip through the channels. At that moment something switched in my mind. I unlocked something. Just like the T.V changing
channels, so could my mind. I closed my eyes and flipped channels. Opened my eyes and I was somewhere else. It was unreal. I never imagined this could happen.
I had read and heard about people tripping and seeing full on hallucinations but thought they might be exaggerating. Nope. This was real. I was teleporting
all around the world with the bat of an eyelash. While I was doing this apparently my eyes had rolled back in my head and I had fallen to the ground. I don't
remember any of this, just teleporting to different places all over the world. I was having a wonderful time. I switch channels back to reality, I see my mom
holding me and singing to clam me down. This sort of chanting puts me into an almost shamanic trance. Her voice multiplied in my head and took over everything.
I could hear a high pitched chime in the background that got louder and louder and eventually "broke" my mind. It's really hard to explain, but that's the best
way I can describe it.

Now everything is quiet, my mom is saying things like "ok just be quiet you'll be alright". I try to be quiet, but something isn't right. I have a feeling of pure
anger and hate inside me. I'm seeing blown up babies, burned women and children, chopped up people, rapes, wars. Everything bad in the world is coming at me right now.
I can feel the pain of every human being on this planet. I'm reminded of what I learned about buddhism, the noble truth that life means suffering. I'm overwhelmed at this
point. I dont have my eyes open and I don't remember much but I'm told that I flung myself onto the table where I landed onto a drinking glass and smashed it. This really
scares me because that could have killed me... luckily I didn't get cut by the glass. This is really out of the ordinary because up until this point I've never
been out of control like this. Not even overly drunk. I'm usually very good at that. Well my step dad had had enough and he phones the paramedics to get me.
On the phone I guess they heard me screaming in the background and because of that they had to bring the police as well. Well I had no idea this was happening so
out of nowhere a bunch of cops and paramedics walk in and it's just the ultimate mind fuck. I can't describe what I felt at this time. It was basically a confirmation
that everything I was experiencing was just in my mind, because why else would a bunch of cops and paramedics be in my house? With this "knowledge" that it
was all a dream and I was really not in any trouble at all I felt fucking fantastic once again. Now it was all a game. I had unlocked some sort of cheat code
for my mind. They strapped me to the trolley and whelled me out to the ambulance. I remember the ride in the trolley. It was unreal. I felt like I was dead.
Like I was a corpse in a coffin being carried to their grave. Inside the ambulance I was just fucking with them because I thought it wasn;t real. I kept asking
them where we were going (obviously not the hospital because this was in my mind). I was convined were were going to egypt. I was so excited! I've always wanted to
see egypt. I told them all how amaing it was going to be and how I coudln't wait till we got there. They played along and told me we'd get there soon.

Now I'm in the hospital, and I realize I have cuffs on. Not only that but they are really tight and hurt. Quickly I see that this is real, and I'm handcuffed, naked,
and tied to a bed. What happened to me? I quickly change my tone from happy go lucky to wtf is going on. The nurses don;t pay much attention to me. They say
the cuffs are for my safety. I plead with them and tell them how I would never hurt anyone. This continues for a long time. They stick a urinary catheter in me
(ouch) and pump something into my blood with an IV. Now I feel like shit. I'm so tired, my muscles ache, and I can;t sleep. I'm still tripping really hard. I can
see waves of colour flowing across the hospital sheets and morphing of the walls. My mom and step dad come to see me. They're really shaken and tell me what I've
done. I'm extremely embarassed and sorry this happened... I'm told I have to talk to a psychologist before I'm allowed to leave. We talk, everything checks out, I leave
at 7AM. I got no sleep that day, and stayed up to eat dinner wit hthe family. We don't tell anyone what happened, only my mom and step dad know. It hurts when I lift my arms.
I have deep purple bruises all over my arms, neck, rib,s back, and stomach.

I haven't touched any psychedelic since that experience and doubt I will for a long time. It really opened my eyes. You think you know what you're getting into but
you really don't. I made lots of mistakes that night. Number one being taking it the day I did. I was not in the right mindset and it was almost 100% that it would
turn into a bad trip. Second mistake was tripping alone. I think if I had a friend with me this could have all been avoided. My parents didnt know about my
drug use before this. They thought I only smoked pot once a week. I told them I only took 2 hits of acid and it was my first time doing it. I have only told
one of my friends about this experience and don't plan on telling anyone else because it's pretty embarassing. I guess I'm just posting this because it's an
interesting story and it's nice to get it off my chest/talk about it? If you read this whole thing, bravo.

 

Better take less and do it in nature next time.

 

Fuck dude! That's a pretty hefty dose :O Gutted that you didn't really prep it too well, but hey - shit happens. Bet not many people have had an experience like that
It pisses me off that police/meds treat trippers like that when the shit hits the fan.. they're supposed to help, and since there's no physical damage from psychedelics shouldn't they at least try and help you along with the trip?

Nicely written though mate, good read

 

Amazing....

I've definitely felt that dread of thinking, "What did I do to myself?" and the subsequent anticipation of friends and relatives finding out I made a big mistake.

Crazy night! I can see why you were thinking you should leave the note, but that's a good rule to remember: never leave a note while tripping.

 

What a tale...

Definitely failed on the set/setting and that's a hefty dose but made a good read.

 

Damn dude. 5 grams of good mushrooms alone can get to me. I can't imagine 7 plus 4 hits of acid. That was a very bad idea but i'm glad everything turned out alright. I'd dial it back a little next time hombre.

 

wow, interesting read. thats a bummer your step dad called the paramedics, nothing worse than calling the people who understand the least about psychedelics.

Well i have to ask, what did you learn from it all? haha

 

Before this experience I had only done 2 hits of acid on its own and 4g of mushrooms on its own... so I basically doubled each dose and combined them. Not a smart choice. I learned not to underestimate psychedelics, always have a friend to watch you, and set and setting mean everything.

But when I was teleporting around the world in my mind it was the most amazing thing/best experience of my life. I thought I had unlocked the full potential of my brain. I could feel everyone around the world and their thoughts all at once. The positives of that trip are what make me want to trip again, but I know I'd have to take an epic dose to get back to that state and I'm not really ready to do that.

 

You just needed someone there to remind you why it was all happening. But you did exceed your common sense level by taking so much. Dial it down for sure.

 

Pass it on...

 

that was an excellent read. sorry for how it turned out.

when you were describing your trip going bad at your house, i thought to myself "he should go for a walk." i 2nd guessed this since you took such a massive, dose...but i was pleased when you did actually go for a walk

it was very interesting to me that you could imagine any object and it would be there! and that you could "teleport" around the world. i've read about this stuff other places as well, and like you said, i've always wondered if they are exaggerating.

next time maybe you should take 7 grams or LESS of shrooms ONLY. or 4 hits or less of LSD ONLY.

combining drugs can lead to synergy, basically 1 + 1 = 4
so if you're tried 2 hits, or 4 grams, and you think you wanna combine them, you should probably do 1 hit + 2 grams.

 

really enjoyed reading it. you described it very well.

 

What a trip...

 

Great report. Sounds like a great experience even though it turned out kind of bad.

 

i was waiting to see if you read this report. i believe you wrote something about being able to alter your environment on 10 or 15 hits whatever you did. maybe it was somewhere else i read that though....

 

I don't think that was me. I've never experienced that before, although I have been able to conjure up images with closed eyes just by thinking about them. I also like the things OP was saying to his mom in the midst of it all. Sounds like some of the same stuff that I always think when I trip.

 

Man, thank you for this trip report. Something I'm wondering... how's your relationship with your mom and step dad now?!

 

yeah i was wondering the same as well. might make for a bit of awkwardness.

 

Good report! To paraphrase Terence McKenna you've taken the right amount if you feel you've taken too much.

 

Horrible advice... he's not McKenna.

Easy to sit back in comfort and dispense advice that puts kids in the hospital and/or messes up their lives.
Are you enjoying the entertainment?