At what stage of dating should you talk about...

1. Having children (Or should you have already decided before you enter the dating scene?)

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This post can continue with other topics too such as what one wants from a relationship. (open, closed, ect.)

The topic I wanted to discuss was just #1.

 

A Few Minutes After You Discover

The Condom Broke...



Cheers Glen.

 

I think it's a good idea to get that one out of the way pretty early on so I would say 2nd or 3rd date.

 

yup

if you don't want kids, don't get her pregnant

 

during introduction.

"hey, my name's joe. can i buy you a drink? i want kids."

 

you got the order wrong.

I want kids, my name is Joe. Do you want a drink?

 

you got your tubes tied?

yeap..

lets fuck..

the end.

 

I want kids, but you'll have to do.

 

any.

 

I'm one of the lucky women who happens to not want children, so I don't have to worry about wasting my time and the biological clock issue...but if I did want kids I'd want to at least know the guy was open to the idea early on...as in, first five dates. He wouldn't have to plan on having children with ME, but he'd have to at least want them in the foreseeable future.

 

The time to bring this up depends on the relationship. There's no set number of dates when it becomes right to bring it up. These kinds of conversations should come up naturally. If you're interested enough in a person to consider a future with, and the feeling is mutual, this topic should be brought up during one of the intimate conversations you'd hopefully have. Also, you don't need to decide today whether or not you'd want kids. It's okay not to be sure and minds can change.

So short answer, I think it's time to talk about when you begin a more intimate, deep conversation phase of the relationship (or sooner if it happens to come up).

....and lugubrious, not wanting children does not make you any more lucky or unlucky. We never know how life will play out.

 

strait away if you like.

it's not like you're telling them you want kids that second

instead you're just talking about your future hopes.

and anyways

it's nice to know you and your significant other

are on the same wavelength.

 

My mom knitted me a sweater which says I don't want kids. Always wear it on first dates.

 

Yeah I guess that wasn't the best way of putting it, huh? I'm just sayin' I feel lucky because I've figured that out about myself before it's too late. And the fact that I don't live in a society in which arranged marriages are the norm, that's pretty lucky too.

Anyways. Getting off topic. Agreed with the rest of your post, very wise :2thumbsup:

 

kids are annoying little brats. an alien species. i try to stay as far away from them as possible.

 

Kids are awesome and our future hypothetically, in reality I don't like them around me too much neither.

 

There is no right time.

It depends on the relationship. In some when dating you can just tell. But really taling of kids usually means you are talking about a future together or at least the possibility.

 

I have found that most people don't really bring up this conversation topic in their late teens early 20's.

I think I've scared a few girls off this way, bring it up on the 3rd date.

 

Where can I buy the big book on generic relationships? I am so unable to give legitimate responses.

 

You won't see the reality of who you are with for 18 months. Wait till then. With the divorce rate the way it is just go for 2 things. Does he like and want kids? Can and will he maintain your lifestyle if you split and what time share arrangement would seem a future reality given his job etc.

Basically prep a disaster plan and keep it in the back of your mind.
see if he is generous cos when you have the kids sliding into poverty is the norm for the single mother unless he pays more than the state requires.
In a nut shell if he is not a decent person you will be screwed if he leaves. Leaving is common place in this disposable society, so it doesn't matter when you talk about kids. What matters is his decency and income. People can bag me out over this but its the truth. bottom line. As that tacky singer Jewel wrote in her song Gods Hands.....In the end, only kindness matters. That is the truest thing I've heard in years.

 

I agree that you've got to look out for yourself, but...a little pessimistic, aren't we?