Ask Stereotypical Christian Anything

Guys, I realize how much fun you actually have bashing stereotypical Christians. So, I'll play the stereotypical Christian and y'all go ahead and throw things my way. I promise to give the most fundamentalist answers possible.

(Please refrain from thinking even less of me if that is possible for most of you. These aren't my actual opinions.)

 

How was your day?
I hope you had a good one

 

I'll tell you how my day was you dirty hellbound hippy. I was out beating up war protestors. I brought my 10 year old son Bucky with me 'cause it was Easter and all. Repent or face hell fire Jezebel!

 

(laughs insidiously)

Now this guy I like. What a jerk! Here let me try ...

What is the purpose of meaning?

 

lol, As long as it was good

 

The purpose of meaning Mr. Fancytalk is interaction with the Holy Spirit and not being a liberal scumbag who supports the union of Sodomites!

 

I've been having visions of god since I was six and recently they have become more intense,yet I am not religious.What should I do?

 

Can I meet God?

 

RG you should go to church in a rubber suit in case God decided to baptize you with a couple lightning bolts. You whiny Democratic pothead.

 

So if the world started out with just two people (adam and eve) does that mean we're all products of incest?

 

Oh, there was summit i was wondering about.......

Why did the Big Yin create the universe, the earth, heaven and pretty much everything with a Word...... yet had to use His hand to form man out of the earth itself?

 

Hoiw do the republicans make the "prince of peace", Jesus's Father God into being the God of War?

 

Trevor,no but you probably are you never bathed heathen. Repent and shower.

 

Hikaru, you'll see him briefly. Right before he says,"Drop him in the lake of fire".

 

Oz, although it doesn't say it in the Bible doing that much acid is a sin. Put down the hits Mr. Iliketodefilemytemple.

 

Rayne, I'll answer your question when you answer this...When did you give yourself the right to rename yourself and how ashamed did this make your mama?

 

why do sodomites go to hell,if Jesus said he loved everyone just the way they are n' stuff??

 

How come christians claim to be of the religion of jesus, yet he was a monotheist and you are polytheists???

 

HEY MR. STEREOTYPICAL CHRISTIAN:

Do you fundies actually realize that you claim to WORSHIP a long-haired, barefoot, bearded, mocha-colored Jewish man who talked about peace and love?

 

Dear Mr. Stereotypical Christian:

My people are ruled by political authorities who neglect the poor and the helpless and treat their neighbors like animals. If you were me what would you do?

Also, I am thinking about becoming Jewish, what do you know about this faith?

Allahu Akbar

Peace and Love