Are you glad or sad you opened your marriage to others

We recently opened our marriage after 20 plus years. We have a very strong marriage, we just wanted to add another couple to have sex play with. Are you glad you opened your marriage or sad you did it? And why?

 

We had open relationship, before tying the knot. She wanted to experience other things. So it worked out good.

 

Sad, cos it ended it. In hindsight, we didn't do it for quite the right reasons, and it ended up badly... I'm not saying things would have been great forever, maybe we were bound to split eventually - but the opening up part made a ruin of everything afterwards.

All I can say is, you absolutely have to have the right reasons for trying it, with total trust and honesty. <shrug>

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

Glad. After ten years of marriage, I gave my wife permission to have sex with others with a few conditions. She had proven she could do that with no impact on our relationship in college. She did it a few times, then decided she didn't want to do it anymore. Our marriage was not affected.

 

100% glad.
I was experienced before I met the wife when we were 17, "another story", I popped her cherry when we were 18, we married when we were 21 (she had a very strict father), I always had a wondering eye and strayed a few times during our marriage, "a few times with the wife's girlfriends".
We were early 30's with 2 children when I finally convinced the wife to try it with another guy "another story" that opened the door to 40+ years of swinging, swapping and M F M threesomes for us (with a couple of F M F threesomes thrown in on special occasions for me).
Now married 59 years, and still very much in love, we were 73 when we had our last M F M threesome with a 53 year old guy we met in a chat room 7 years ago, after that the wife said enough was enough, and I respect her decision (but would still not knock back a stray if it was on offer) lol.
I am sure if the wife had not started playing I would have been caught out playing on the side and who knows where that might have ended up!

 

Great thread topic. Hoping for more responses.

 

Totally glad that my wife accepted having a sexual relationship not just with me, but also with another couple. The four of us have evolved into one relationship. We all do things together other than just sex. The four of us have a very special bond to each other. He and I formed a bond before the wives became involved. Our wives were understanding knowing that they couldn't provide either of us what he or I can provide each other. Both wives enjoy having sex with us both at the same time. They love having two husbands as much as he and I enjoy having two wives. Both of our marriages have bonded closer as individual marriages along the way. Again, it's a unique relationship that many people could not or would not want or be able to accept.

 

LowHangers, Kudos to you for making this work. Even though we are not a Bi couple, We are seeking to find another couple to travel with and along the way, share each other exclusively. For us it’s about taking our relationship to a higher level and living life to the fullest. We know 2 couples who found each other and own a house together.

 

Your perspective is a valuable one. You say that opening made a ruin of the relationship, and that maybe you were bound to split eventually. Another way of looking at it is that opening the relationship was probably better than having one or both of you cheating, continuing your pledge of monogamy and exclusivity while having sex with others on the sneak. You could look at opening the relationship as a way of trying to save it, and you tried.

My ex-wife was clear with me that she was dissatisfied with our sex life together. If I had suggested that we open the relationship, which she was probably already thinking about and hoping I would propose, then we might still be together today. As it is, she sampled a number of other guys without my knowledge, which involved lots of deception, and then left and divorced me, and married one of them. She said that lack of sexual satisfaction with me was her principal reason for seeking someone else in the first place. We were a good match outside the bedroom, so I have the opposite regret from yours: I regret not opening the relationship. Sure, ours may have been as doomed as yours, but at least you gave the open relationship a try, and we did not.

 

Can I say BOTH? We had mfms before and after we were married. We both loved them. Then wife put a stop to them. Refound religion We still had a good sex life but then she stopped showing interest. Said she didn’t want me while she knew I was always thinking back to our MFMS. Once you see your partner with another man is something you can’t get out of your head. Maybe someday she’ll get over this attitude and want me again.

 

We started off swinging swapping with other couples when we were mid 30's, we were in with a very social nudist / swinging club at the time and a good time was had by all, over the years we drifted away from the club, our contacts with other swingers slowly broke up, we still kept meeting couples to play with, some good, some not so good, as we got older we found it hard to meet couples where the four got along long term, so we got more so into M F M threesomes with other guys joining us (mostly married guy playing on the side) I loved watching, joining in and going silky seconds after her lover had finished, this carried on into our early 70's.
I have no complaints either way at all.

 

Thanks for the thoughtful response. Honestly, and I'm not going to go into any real details here... Yes It was an attempt to make it work, but no it definitely did make things worse than they should have been. Neither of us would have cheated though. Sadly it made the break up more difficult than it ought to have been.

I'm only expanding on things to give an insight for anyone else who might see this... Turns out we weren't 100% solid, and this put things over the edge. Just don't delude yourself, be brutally honest that you have no doubts about your relationship before you venture into anything, cos it'll make or break it. ‍<shrug>

Good luck to all those who do brave it for the right reasons, and make it work wonders for them... Kudos.

 

Sorry, my reply was a bit self-obsessed there as I was dwelling on it... I should also add that I'm sorry to hear about your outcome, it's always difficult. My personal view is that I don't think opening a marriage is ever going to save it if its not all good already - it's no band aid. From what everyone says, only seems to work out well when the couple is super solid and in it together.

 

Glad. We had been married 20+ years. It’s very hot and erotic. It’s harder now that kids are older.

 

Yes! Very Happy!

 

Been in an open marriage for 38 yrs with the same woman. Its been fantastic and awesome. Her body is to gorgeous to be hoarded by just one man, I love sharing her with others. But that being said it has its perks, I too get to fuck other gorgeous woman and that in of itself is totally worth sharing.

 

Definitely glad, we were in an open relationship when we first got together so it was very natural for us. Led to a lot of good times

 

Love watching her fuck other guys

 

Back in collage when we met 38 yrs ago she made it known that she loved men in general, and could not be satisfied with one man. We married and had 2 kids all the while entertaining other lovers. She and I enjoy a healthy sex life and she and I have been in an open marriage since collage. Do I enjoy watching her please other men, ABSOLUTLY yes. The fun part is I get to play along with them.