Appoaching somebody (merged with) Lonely boy. Need new knight in shining armour.

Hello

I have had a bit of a problem with something and I think I could get some help here.

Lets say I see a nice looking guy. How do you approach that person, get chatting and find out if they are gay or not?
"Hey, how are you?" sounds like you already know them
"Hey, what's your name?" sounds too rude and intrusive
"Hey, my name is XXX" just doesn't sound right
and
"Hey are you gay? I couldn't help noticing your sexy jowls from the other side of the room." equals a punch in the nose from a homophobe.

What to do?

 

useing the word jowls probably wouldn't be the best idea anyway, other here it means they have a double chin
S

 

i don't know how to do this either......

there is this girl i met the other day ..... i can't get her out of my mind, but i dont know how to ask her if she's a lesbian......i was getting a pretty strong lesbian "vibe" from her, but what if i'm wrong

 

The jowls thing was a joke..replace that with legs or eyes or something, but do you get the point? And double-chins are cool...

 

Ha Ha,


I never could manage going up to someone, no matter how hard i tried.

I have always used sites like www.gaydar.co.uk or www.gaytimesdating.com is a very good one.

Takes all th escary part out of it.

 

Best place to meet nice guys is in a gay bar. Nearly everyone is gay for some apparent reason. In Lewisham, where I live, there is a Stonewalls gay bar. Due to local homophobians, they had to take the rainbow flag down. Drinks are expensive but it is worth every penny if it means walking out with a new boyfriend.

 

I'm not keen on the idea of a line to use with someone. "Hi, I'm..." usually isn't bad in a bar, especially since lots of men (and women) there are in the mood to meet someone.

When you're in other situations, you're probably less certain the guy is gay and more certain he's sober. It's a bit of a tradeoff. Make some comment about what's going on around you. If there's a band and music, say something about the music. If you're in a bookstore, make a comment about the store or a book you've read or something like that. Be friendly and not too high-pressure cruisy. Smile, smile, smile! I'll be the first to admit that I'm not that good at this sort of thing, but it's a technique that would work with me.

 

if i want to talk to someone who i dont know i say somthing relating to the situation, if ur bored u say "are u as bored as i am" ect then get into a decent conversation

 

Going to a Gay area like Soho or looking in the newspapers under the Gay section.

 

I'm going to be shit and say you approach them the same way you approach someone who you want to get to know as a friend.

However that is.

 

Yeah thanks for that advice..How do you approach someone who you want to be your friend? They generally come to me =/

 

Ok....how about tossing them a smile first and see how the person reacts....if they smile back...then just say hi...how are ya...and let him speak , you can usually tell from there if the person is friendly or not...and you need to be friends first anyway .

 

i have a very difficult time approaching people just in general
especially other girls
so i definately understand what your saying
i'm always afraid they arent gay , so i dont ever just approach girls that way in just regular life
when i know theyre gay i still tend to have the same problem because im afraid theyll be harsh
i know really fuckin emo

 

Oh, it is not so good when you don't have a nice young bloke you can cuddle on the sofa with whilst watching Cribs or the Jewellery hour on QVC.

What are the best ways to chat up a bloke in a gay bar? I am thinking about going to Soho London shortly to sort myself out with some bloke (I hope) Anyone done the same thing? How does it happen>? Will it just be a case of walk in the bar and become a stranger or will I get a few flirts? How do I know someone has the hots for me? Help please...

 

Ok...what exactly is it you are looking for...a fling...or maybe the start of a frienship ??

 

friendship that is so close that we are practically boyfriends. I also want a very flamboyant boy to share my bed with and to go out around Leicester square on a friday night totally drunk together in a bar. Then go staggering home whilst holding hands

 

Cool !!!!!

 

Heh, okay. There's probably something on the net about this so I'll take a look and post it here Thanks

 

I've been in exactly the same situation. There's this guy, ive called him "that year 9 guy" who does athletics for another school. I do aths as well. So i see him every saturday.
Anyway, it was a frdiay, i was on a train by myself. "That year 9 guy" was on the train as well with a a friendfrom his school. the wednesday beforeon the friday and asked;
Me: "Hey, were you running yesterday...i mean wednesday"
Him: "yeh"
Me: "Was that a heats day or a final"
Him: "it was just another normal meet"
Me: "So u going on saturday to the finals?"
Him: "yEH"

i dunno what happened, but i walked off. i was hoping a friendship would form but it didn't. That was in october, 2006.
first and second term of school in 2007 saw me catching the wednesday train. Where all yr 11 students went home early, i chose to stay behind to catch the train that year 9 guy would catch.
So i know what it's like, im still trying to find a connection.
At times, when ive caught the train, he was sitting a seat away!! Only a seat. I was so nervous i just froze up i guess. then it hit me later on.

Try and find a link between you two, like he does aths and you do aths, or you live in the same neibourhood or sumthin. For me it's still a working progress. Aths season is fast approaching and for a year, after i talked to him, ive been readying myself for the few weeks where i will be able to start on a right foot.

However, if someone, totally unknown, comes up to you and tries to talk to you, that, i think, is a good sign that that person is taking interest in you

 

I'd try starting a conversation then, very casually, start flirting. Like a compliment or joke whatever, then if they flirt back at all, keep at it and see where it goes. Of course, if it suits you, the old rainbow symbol will at least help you let others know youre gay.