Anyone heard of her? She's an aussie sex writer with a degree in psychology. She can teach us all a great deal. I was wondering does anyone elsee share my enthusiasm for her work, or if anyone knows where I can find free resources on her on the net. Maybe I'll just buy her books. www.traceycox.com has free extracts, read them and you'll see what I mean.
c'MON! There's gotta be someone on this site who knows. if you truly want to learn about love, sex, body language, flirting and relationships, the whole messy shebang, then check her out! See website above and read extracts; then get back to me and we'll talk. She's on tv a lot too(In Britain anyway) on "Hot Love", "Hotter sex" and "Would like to meet". I'd post up a body language essay by her, if it's legal, anyone know if I can.(It describes signs of flirting and teaches you them, really nifty subconscious stuff) Anyway, Bleh....
FOREPLAY Not just the entree, it can be main course (and dessert) as well! Delicious Detours `Happiness isn't a destination; it's a means of travelling.´ This old saying can be applied to foreplay. Rush through the 'travelling' and you might find the destination isn't quite as exciting as you'd expected. Lavish attention on the whole body and you can't help but take your time. Erogenous zones are areas on our bodies that create intense sexual arousal when stimulated. Apart from the obvious bits that we all share (like the penis and the clitoris), each of us has our own secret area that sends frantic YES! YES! messages to all the right places. For some, it's being bitten in the small of their neck. Others go crazy when someone strokes their buttocks. But what works for one lover won't necessarily work on the next, so consider each new lover unexplored territory. There are few places on our bodies that we don't like being touched. Why restrict foreplay to the breasts and genitals when the entire body is itching for attention? Take a body tour. When you get to a new city, you often take an orientation tour to get your bearings, right? Then what's stopping you doing the same with your new lover's body? You can go all out here and even use a few props. Make him lie down naked on his stomach and close his eyes - make sure the room you're in is private and warm - then trail a scarf slowly and tantalisingly across his naked bottom and back. Then turn him over and stroke a feather around his penis and scrotum. You can then move on to using your hands, hair, breasts and mouth on his nipples and genital area, creating different sensations as you search for his ultimate pleasure zones. Try stroking her face, the back of her neck, her back. Play with her hair, lift it up from her neck and stroke underneath, slide your palms up and down her arms - and this is just while you're watching TV together. Don't even make it to the bedroom. Massage his feet, kiss his toes, massage his hands, then take each finger into your mouth and suck it, pretending it's his penis. Don't dive straight for his penis during foreplay. Use long, sensual strokes up his inner thighs until he's trembling with desire. Bottoms up! Both your bottoms are an arousable area. Try massaging them, stroking, even gentle slapping. Don't neglect the perineum (the bit between your genitals and your anus). Press firmly and massage with two fingers, gently stroking along the entire length; use your tongue to do the same. Use your fingers to rub along the outline of his lips, then insert a finger into his mouth for him to suck. Do the same with your nipples. He can do the same with his penis. Get into neck nibbling. Do you know anyone who doesn't enjoy having their neck kissed or gently nibbled? (If you do, they're either incredibly ticklish, or totally uptight.) It's a sadly ignored area that can produce amazing results. Suck her toes, slide your tongue into her belly button (try diving on her after a shower if you're paranoid about 'fluff) - have fun with foreplay! It really doesn't matter if she laughs instead of sighs - she's still complimented that you find all of her sexy, not just 'the good bits'. Kiss all over his body, not just on his mouth and genitals. Use your whole body to massage his. Lie on top of him when he's lying on his back or front, gyrate slowly and revel in the simple sensation of skin against skin. And for my next trick... Tie him up. We've all seen it done in the movies. You don't need to pop down to a sex shop and buy one of those leather numbers to slip on (unless you want to, of course) or crack a whip (ditto) to play the dominatrix. But you do need a bedpost (or chair) to tie him to, a couple of long scarves (some old stockings or a few of his ties will do) and a nasty smile on your face. Once he's comfortably trussed (don't cut off the circulation, you need the blood flowing for him to get an erection, let alone keep his heart pumping), you can try out a number of erotic scenarios, like . . . Masturbate for him. Watching you give yourself pleasure will give him a big kick. The effect will be even more spectacular if you masturbate loudly and theatrically while he's tied up and is utterly helpless. If you want to get him really worked up, simply leave him tied up and then . . . Blindfold him. Even a see-through chiffon scarf can increase the sexual tension tenfold. It also makes you less inhibited about what you do to him because he can't see you. Tie the scarf across his eyes then build the anticipation by withdrawing completely for a few seconds, then caressing him in his favourite places, and a few he's not expecting. This also lets his imagination run wild - you could be a provocative French maid, slave girl . . . you get the picture Undress each other. Don't just fling your clothes in a corner and hop into bed naked; let him undress you and vice versa. Stop along the way to lick and caress the body part that's just been exposed. Play the vamp. Thought the only time you'd use those long, black gloves was on black tie occasions? Put them on now and start masturbating him. Yes, it does come out in the wash. Make it good enough to eat. Whipped cream, bananas and berries aren't just good for fruit salads. Take them out of the kitchen or, better still, stay there and satisfy two appetites at once. Having a feast off each other's bodies is a laugh more than anything else, but even if it simply makes sex more fun, it's worth the experiment. Unless you're talking hot and spicy foods, it's safe to smother or insert most foods in and around the genitals for both of you to devour. While you're at it, grab some ice-cubes from the freezer, put them into your mouth, then suck his penis. Drop it. Leave the sisterhood stuff outside the bedroom door. If he fantasises about you dressing up as a waitress, serving him exactly what he hungers for, he is treating you like a sex object - but isn't that the point? Go for the cliche - most men love it. Invest in some sexy black underwear. After a night out, take off your clothes to reveal stockings and suspenders. (Even better, flash him a glimpse while you're out.) ·Tease, tickle and titillate. Brush your lips over his mouth but don't let him kiss back. Put his penis momentarily in your mouth, then withdraw and start kissing his neck. Sit on top of him and let him partially penetrate you, then get up and walk away. The trick is to keep him unbelievably aroused rather than frustrated. At some point, though, you have to put him out of his misery by bringing things (and him) to a fabulous finale! Copyright 2002© Tracey Cox This was free on the internet anyway so I'm sure nobody will mind.
Here's another one, on Body Language and Flirting. This could help us all I think... Flirting and body language by Tracey Cox First impressions Statistics differ but most experts say it takes us between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone - and as much as we'd like to think it all rests on that witty one-liner, it doesn't. 55% of the message we get from someone comes through our body language 38% is from the tone, speed and inflection of our voice and a pathetic 7% is from what we're actually saying! This doesn't mean you can get away with droning on about your passion for snails and collection of Mongolian one-winged butterflies forever (content is crucial later) but it does mean you need to get the body language right straight away or they won't bother to stick around to find out how fascinating you are. If you're not feeling horribly self-conscious by now, you should be. To make you completely paranoid, here's another frightening thought: before you've even spoken to the person you've got your eye on, the way you've walked and stood is more than 80% of their first impression of you! We make what seems like outrageous snap judgements about people but the fact is, almost every facet of our personality is evident from our appearance, posture and the way we move. So, how do we tell if our body is sending the right signals - and (more importantly) how to read theirs? Let your body do the talking (and the flirting) by learning to recognise... The 5 Secret Sexual Signals that someone is flirting with you 1. The flirting triangle When we look at people we're not close to (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zig-zag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose. With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth. Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from one eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth. If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, it's very, very sexy because you can't help but think I wonder if they're imagining what it would be like to kiss me. Which is usually exactly what they are thinking, if they're looking intently at your mouth! 2. Mirroring This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more instantly or effectively than mirroring someone's behaviour. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you take a sip of your drink and do the same. They sit with their chin cupped in their hands, so do you. The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are. Two no-no's with this one though: first up, only mirror positive body language; secondly, capture the spirit rather than imitating them like a chimpanzee at the zoo. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.) 3. The eyebrow flash When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they fancy us back, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second! We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on earth. In fact, some experts claim it's the most instantly recognised non-verbal sign of friendly greeting in the world. The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone new you fancy. Even better, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by extending your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact. 4. Pointing Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands arms, feet, legs, toes. Again, it's an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why. So if you're got your eye on the hunk/hunkette in the corner, point your body in their direction - even if you don't make eye contact, they'll get the hint you're interested. 5. Blinking If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favour, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other! Now, one final word before you go rushing off to the nearest bar to practise all this. Before you go, you must understand... The golden rule of body language Don't ever judge on one thing alone. Sitting with your arms crossed often means you're protecting yourself emotionally and shutting out the other person. But it might also mean you're freezing cold, you're having a fat day or just spilt coffee all over your top! Don't jump to conclusions, instead look for clusters of behaviour. If someone has their arms crossed and they're frowning and leaning backward to create as much space between you as possible and their lips are pursed disapprovingly, it's a fairly safe bet they are on the defensive. Most body language experts favour the 'Rule of Four' which means look for at least four body language signals saying the same thing before totally believing it.
