Anybody else ... ?

For some reason, when I get to the "edge of the cliff" ... I tend to fight it.

Now this is not because I don't love my lover (when I am with someone I don't love, I can't even get close to the edge, much less in danger of falling over ...) -- or because I don't enjoy sex (I think I do TOO much ) ...

But I get tense and afraid sometimes. I go with the fear (it can be quite the rush ...) and enjoy the feeling, but I do take a secret breather when he slides in and "the coast is clear."

Ladies ... am I the only one? Do I have psychological issues regarding control or trust or *something* (as female magazines and psychology books would have me believe! ) -- or is this just my natural physiological reaction?

Just curious.

Peace and love to you and yours!

- K

 

sorry, I'm a guy but...
it is a pretty well documented fact that there is a large psychological component to women's sexual enjoyment...trust and a number of other intangible come into play, so you are far from unusual...
I have had a few g/f who would do this sort of thing willingly (hold off their orgasm) to go for a "maximum" point for release...usually with pretty impressive results....I don't know if you have had that happen, either by accident or design (?)

 

:H

 

I only try to fight off the orgasm if I'm masturbating. When I'm having sex I just let myself go and when I feel the sweetness building up toward an orgasm I just let it build. When I'm masturbating, if I don't really feel like it's the right time to come, sometimes when the buildup starts I'll say 'oh no' or 'not yet!' and I'll stop rubbing for a few seconds and let the sweetness go down before I start up again.

 

I fight it when I'm having sex, it's so much more intense when I do cum. So hard to hold back though when my partner is getting close to having an orgasm - that's where I really have to try hard not to cum,.

 

I seem to have a tendency to fight it off, too. It gets so intense that it's almost frightening. It never gets that intense when I'm masturbating. It frustrates the hell out of my boyfriend, too, because he's never had this issue with any other girl and we've been together almost a year. I've had a few orgasms during sex, but I still haven't completely torn down that odd wall I've built. I hope maybe when we've got a place of our own and real privacy, things will change.

 

I can not cum.
Im enjoying, I love to have sex with my bf but I cant find an orgasm.

 

Yes, trust issues ... walls ... got those. Okay, I am not alone.

And yes, I am pretty dysfunctional ... I laughed and cried simultaneously the first time I felt myself falling over the edge. And I cannot get there with anyone else but my current lover ... with other fellows, I find myself physically responding but mentally going down my grocery list (or something else mundane).

Any advice on that? (Simply pretending I am with someone else, does not really feel too honest to me, so I would prefer to figure something else out.)

Thanks ...

 

I know exactly what you're talking about! My mind seems to wander also to ridiculous things that are boring or have nothing to do with sex-related. And the same things during sex aren't nearly as thrilling as they are when I'm flying solo, if you know what I mean. Like the prospect of getting caught. During sex, that's really...not much of a turn on. It's weird, like masturbating is a sexy thing you're "not supposed to be doing," but sex is just...something people frown upon. I dunno, I'm weird I guess, but another problem I have is keeping myself quiet. We've rarely had chances where I could be moany and uninhibited due to parents or friends in the next room. I keep hoping things will change when we have a place of our own.

 

The worst thing about masturbating is not when you make noise or get caught out!!!

Sometimes, it is hard to think of sexy thoughts when masturbating. I just think of a naked girl, or something i've seen off an erotic film.

 

Crying during or right after an orgasm is not unusual.

 

I know this myself, and I would sort of worry if I saw a girl crying over it though.
I mean is there really any need to cry over it!!!???

You wouldn't see a guy cry after a good wank would you!!???

It's just weird!!!

 

The crying is (for me) a release just like the orgasm. It's not anything I can control & doesnt happen everytime.

 

The crying (for me) is a little OTT.

There's just no need for it!!!

 

Sometimes I cry when I find my feelings growing and Im a bit scared (my bf couldnt realise why I was crying)

 

You aren't weird at all. Sometimes my mind can tend to wonder on to things that aren't sex-related during masturbation. It is best to look at porn or some sort of nudity on the internet, and think of that. Sometimes, even I find it hard to think of sexy thoughts during masturbation, and you aren't the only one.

 

You aren't weird at all. Sometimes my mind can tend to wonder on to things that aren't sex-related during masturbation. It is best to look at porn or some sort of nudity on the internet, and think of that. Sometimes, even I find it hard to think of sexy thoughts during masturbation, and you aren't the only one.

 

You aren't weird at all. Sometimes my mind can tend to wonder on to things that aren't sex-related during masturbation. It is best to look at porn or some sort of nudity on the internet, and think of that. Sometimes, even I find it hard to think of sexy thoughts during masturbation, and you aren't the only one.

 

interesting conversation.
it is true though, if you hold it off you can make the orgasm huge!

even for lads. who have poor orgasms compaired to females.

 

My g/f always sheds tears when she comes & I think it's so fucking hot BUT....she also does have a tendency to stop herself when she feels like she's falling over the edge. I tell her it's probably because she feels herself maybe on the fringe of squirting & she dioesn't want to release it as it feels like she's going to pee. That's my personal mission is to make her squirt. I'm sure after the first time,she'll do it nonstop...lol