Any girls out there who can help?

I have a girlfriend (lets call her kirsten) who i've been going out with for 18 months now. We've been fine for all that time, had no major arguments or anything. But now, since a pimps and hoes party for a friends 18th, where she amazed everyone there with just how sexy she can actually look (she's normally a conservative dresser), she's been avoiding me for the last 2 weeks, even missing out on social meetups with out friends, and not replying to my texts or anything.


Kirsten had said i should drink at the party to loosen up more (i'd tee-totalled for a year til then), so i did to make her happy. Unfortunately i was violently ill for the first time ever around her, and a friend of mine whom she doesn't really like much (he spends a lot more time with me than her, though that is because she usually chooses to stay home and do schoolwork than see me - i do offer very often!) looked after me while i was drunk. i told him to not tell her i was that ill too, otherwise she'd be worried and she would ruin her evening by looking after me. When i was feeling a bit better later, she came and took over from my friend, and we held eachother for awhile, and eventually fell asleep on the floor together.

Next morning, she isn't very chatty to anyone, which i thought was cause of a hangover. After i took her home, i sent her an email saying how much i loved her, and how everything she did made me happy and such. (i had the night before as well, but wanted to show it wasn't the drink talking) But she hasn't spoken to me for two weeks, which brings us to where we are now.
Only thing she's said to me since then was in a text asking her why she gave me the cold shoulder when us and our friends went for our weekly bowling session (i couldn't ask then, she was speaking mainly to the friend of mine she doesn't really like, and not even aknowledging me at all), so when i asked her what was up she said 'its just something i have to sort out. i just couldn't deal last night'.

But she still hasn't spoken to me for a week and a half since then. And hasn't been at bowling sessions since either.

I've asked her friends at school if they know whats up, she's not said anything to them.

So, what is going on with her? I'm really confused, aggravated, and lonely right now

I ask you girls out there especially, since you might know whats going on better with her. For added info, i'm her first boyfriend, we've not had sex yet (she's shy about physical stuff), though once we nearly did, but she was very self conscious, and i couldn't get it up in the end (i was very tired and probs had first time anxiety, for i'm also a virgin), so in the end she just gave me a hand job and told me not to worry about it, and that she didn't mind.

Thats it! all help appreciated! Sorry about the long post!

 

i think she wants to break up, but doesn't want to hurt you so she's trying to get you to break it off first. this situation reminds me a lot of my last relationship. me and my guy were together for 6 months, but some things happened and he started acting differently. i realized i didnt like him anymore, in fact i hated him and couldnt stand to be around him or talk to him, so i had to leave him. he didnt do anything terrible, but he showed his true personality and i didn't like who i saw. i'm not saying that you're a bad person, but it sounds like your girlfriend has just had a change of heart. brace yourself for the possibility of being single soon.

 

go to her house and talk to her, face to face, to see whats up

 

Ok, i will make a point of finding out whats up this week one way or another, breakup seems quite likely, but i really hope it doesn't come to that. Kirsten is extremely unique, and it will be hard to find another girl who i desire as much as her.

I'll let you know what happens anyway!

 

wow, I knew a girl with the same name around the same age as you. I thought the same thing "I'll never be able to find another girl like her" when things ended.

But I was 19 at the time, like you, and I did meet another AMAZING girl.

Or

Things will smoothen out

either way, good luck

 

^^^ditto

First relationships are hard for both people. Think about how confused and baffled you are by her, and realize she is just as in the dark about you.

A break up does sound like a possibility, but it is always good to just have a straight up conversation and clear the air. She could just be pissed that you made an ass of yourself at the party(I'd say you were just trying to impress her and apologize if this is the case). The other possibility is that she thinks you just said you loved her because you were drunk. I know that a GF I had was pissed that I told her I loved her when I was smashed. Then again, that was the only reason I told her that LOL.

Anyway, the best that can be said is to have a good talk and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, there are more fish in the sea. I know its cliche and seems like BS, but its true.

Peace

 

hmm i wonder i mean she may have seen you in a new light with your head stuffed in a tiolet puking
& perhaps when she says shes just sorting things out then thats exactly what she means
& text after text asking whats wrong wont make things go smoother
no matter what its her choice to spend timewith yoiu maybe you should just give her time to figure things out & when she mises u she'll come back?

theresalso the possibility that while u were drunk & passin out somethin happened between her & your freind

 

If a girl can't accept your puke, she's not the girl for you. That's all I have to say to that.

 

I have discovered what was wrong finally! though in fact it was from her best friend (who also is a close friend of mine) who told me. Kirsten confided in her, but her friend thought it would be best to tell me what was up, since it would give us a better chance of staying together. But my gf is now talking to me again

turns out the party had nothing to do with it, she didn't mind in the slightest that i was ill. The problem was actually that i kept asking her to spend more time with me - and she always feels really guilty about saying no because she has to study. Having already taken my A levels 2 years before her, i thought they were ok, a fair bit of work but nothing too much, so i couldn't understand why she needed to spend every waking hour working and not leaving time for fun. The reason for this is because she did badly on most of her 1st year A-level exams, but hadn't dared tell anyone (not even her family or me), because she didn't want to look like a failure, and she didn't want her parents to find out, since they apparently pressure her a bit to go to a decent university. So rather than tell them that she did badly and have to re-do the year again, she's trying to retake all of last years exams, AND complete her 2nd year of A levels at the same time, so no-one finds out. And because she didn't want anyone to know including me, she couldn't find a good reason why she always has to turn my offers down, so avoided me for the past 3 weeks in order to avoid the pressure of being asked, and the guilty feeling of turning me down. She also has coursework for both years for one of her subjects due in for the same time this month, which added to the stress, and she simply had to shut away from the world for awhile.

So, that was the rather long-winded explanation, seems i was barking up completely the wrong tree lol! But we're going for a night out together now once her coursework is handed in on friday so she can relax and have fun for a change

Its a shame, a lot of this could have been avoided if she'd just told me from the start that she didn't want me to keep offering to spend time with her because of all that, but I understand her situation (her parents can be quite demanding sometimes, especially since her brother did very well in university, so she has that to live up to), and i'm just glad that we're on good terms again!

Thanks for all your input about the situation, nice to know other people care about my stuff even if you don't know me ^^

 

cool. good on ya mate!