any funny stoned stories?

my friend and i were smoking the other day and i had to go to the bathroom. we were sitting outside so i was getting ready to open the door and head back inside when i saw a bee sitting on the door. i didnt want the bee getting back in the house or something so i smashed it with a flashlight and it fell to the ground. the bee twitched a little but finally died there. after finishing a couple more bowls, my friend and i went on a munchies run so we started to head inside. well, my friend didnt realize that the bee was still lying on the ground and he acciedently stepped on it. i havent seen a dude scream like that in a long ass time. it was fuckin halarious. ne one else have some funny stories like this?

 

actually, a long time ago when i just started smoking- i saw a dead fly on the floor in my house. cuz i was high i just looked at it and tryed to remeber not to step in it. 5min l8er i see it again but like 2sec after noticing it i jump lol. then after about 20min- i realised i had steped into that 1 fly so many times lol it wer disguidting

 

We were on vacation in Myrtle Beach. We were staying in a camper while we were down there. One night we got very stoned and drunk and after a couple of hours of partying we went to bed. While I was lying in the bed, I suddenly had to piss. So I got up to go to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom door I just forgot what I was doing and stood there for a few minutes trying to remember. I entered very deep "zone" while I was standing there in the dark right next to the bathroom door. My uncle suddenly woke up and snapped me out of my "zone". He said "Brian, what are you doing?" At this point I had forgotten what I was doing. My uncle said he had been watching me stand in the same spot for about 10 or 15 minutes........doing nothing, just standing there. When I snapped out of it, I just kinda guessed to myself what I was doing and I told my uncle "I just got up to change shirts". So I opened the closet and looked for a shirt for a few minutes in the dark. Then I remembered I had to go to the bathroom(the original reason for getting out of bed). SO I went to the bathroom and then I went back to bed and slept like baby.

The next morning, I woke up and the bathroom door was locked and we couldn't get in, because in my stoned/drunk stupor, I had locked it. Then I realized that I was wearing a Strawberry Shortcake shirt that belonged to my little female cousin, which just happened to be pink and it had ruffles. This is the shirt I changed into when I was standing there in the dark.

 

bahahaha^ a pink strawberry shortcake shit with ruffles! rofl

 

nahhahahhahahahhaha man okay i loved the story im soo high right now it took me like 10 tries to read it but i could just imagine the dudeand the bee hahahha

okay man

hwait hahah

 

haha that made me laugh out loud. that is funny shit.

 

lol, rough night topnotch! hahahahahha... i think the funniest 'waking up somewhere crazy' story i've heard was from my step-sister's cousin, who lives in fort st john - a real drinking-north-BC-lots of natives town. one night apparently he got really trashed, blacked out, and woke up in the bed of a pickup truck alone in the middle of a mall's parking lot in a city about 5-6 hrs away from fort st john. he had no clue how he got there so he just went into the mall and saw some dude he knew, and was like 'wtf?'. eventually he got driven home.

how crazy would that be? for me that would be like waking up in the middle of richmond hahahahahah

 

I have a ton of funny stories but I'm just too high to post them right now but one thing I can say like the one dude that said he tried to remember not to step on the fly. Everytime I get high I pour a glass of water or soda or juice or whatever then I usually set it on the ground while I play ps2 and I keep tellin myself not to knock it over then I always knock it over anyway and it fucking sucks cuz then I have to clean it up while I'm high. Fuck I hate that. Peace.

 

i think my funny story would be....

one night me and my mate were out for a light night tokin' session. we first rolled 3 spliffs, one that was pretty big (2 large skins long (i know that isnt that big but meh)) and one normal one. then one half sized one.
We went to some beach to have the biggest one. this is at like 1 maybe.
so we have had that one then when we are in a random field with the smallest one some girl phones him asking for a lift to her house which is like maybe 10 miles away. so we are driving to pick her up when i ask if he thinks he can get some lovin off her. but apparently she wouldnt if i was there.
so i though that it would be funny to pertend im passed out in the back of his car so he can try score with this girl...i have to say that is possibly one of the funniest things i have heard in a long time...him with his cheesy chat up lines such as "hmm do you wanna touch my other gear stick"...
she even said hello and goodbye to me....even though i was "passed out" ha

anyhoo...it might not seem that funny reading it but it sure as hell was when we were driving away after dropping her off and Im waving out the back window...

 

Ok so I went to Cedar Point two days ago and I was there for a total of three days. I went with my parents so I would always have to go out for smoke breaks by myself, and I rolled 10 joints before I went on the trip...Anways long story short, I was smoking a joint and drinking a beer on the boardwalk at like 11:00 in the morning when nobody else is out there, and this guy walked up who I thought was picking up trash but he starts staring at me like 3 ft away from me, and I see his uniform....Ok this is NO lie, it was the "CPPD" Cedar Point Police Department and I didnt know what to do if I should run or what, but instead he pulled out a pack of cigareetes and talked to me about the tides in the water and bullshit, he never knew I was smoking a joint.

 

I have another one. I don't know how many times I've posted it, but it's funny, so here goes:

I had found my uncle's stash of homemade 120 proof peach brandy, and I decided to endulge. I popped the cap and started pouring shots. I ended up drinking about 14-15 shots and then I called a friend to come and get me. He came and picked me up in his Blazer and we were riding through town. I suddenly felt the urge to vomit, so I told him to pull over. He pulled over at a Golden Pantry(convenience store). I got out ot he Blazer and started walking toward the store, but I didn't make it. I tripped and fell face-down on the pavement. While my face was flat against the pavement, I started to vomit. My cheek was lying flat on the pavement while I vomitted for about 3 or 17 minutes(no telling how long). After I was finished vomitting, I got back in the Blazer and we rode to a friend's house. At this point, I had remembered that I had an ounce of weed in my pocket. I broke it out and had someone start rolling blunts. A 9 year-old was present, along with his mother. Me, a couple of friends, the 9 year-old, and his mother proceeded to smoke the entire ounce in only a few hours. I was so fucked up that I ended up putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave for 10 MINUTES!!! The bag of popcorn caught on fire and the smoke alarm started to sound. The whole house started to get smoked out from the flaming bag of popcorn and everyone was just laughing. Quite hilarious.

 

Shit man last minute I put a bag of popcorn in and set it for 50 minutes instead of 5 and i came in and about 7 minutes had passed and it was flaming so I had to throw it out the fucking window into the snow. hahahahahhahahah

 

Yeah man. It's a shame to waste popcorn. It's so tasty. I guess it's a classic stoner mistake. But goddamn, 50 minutes?!?!?! FUCK!!!

 

I know dude. Well Like I said i didn't leave it in there for 50 minutes. I just hit 50 instead of 5 then i came in later and it was on fuckin fire. Crazy shit.

 

Yeah but it's crazy to think of what would have happened if you left it in there for the full 50 minutes. hahaha The fire department would have been called because a stoner fucked up while microwaving his popcorn. hahaha

I remember one time when I was tripping on benadryl I put a single slice o pizza in the microwave for 10 minutes. It woke everyone on the apartment building up and all of the tenants had to vacate the building. Probably 30 people, whom I didn't even know, had to leave their apartments in the middle of the night because some dumbass(me, delerious on benadryl) had put a piece of pizza in the microwave for 10 minutes. It wasn't as big of a deal as they made it out to be, but everyone in the building had to get out of bed and stand int he parking lot for a couple of hours in the middle of the night, probably about 1am until 2 or 3am. Fucked up, but funny, nonetheless.

 

two nights ago my friend was getting a cup of dr. pepper and he didnt realize that the cup had a hole in it while he was pouring. my other friend looked over at him and was like ALEX WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! and he then put the leaking cup onto the table. so there was about a liter of dr. pepper all over the floor in my basement and on the table. mostly on the floor lol.

 

Do you go there a lot? I do, every summer and some spring breaks. We should meet and party like the cool cats we are.

I am loving these stories very much, but all my stories are just little stupid things that have happened that are only funny if you are there. But, one time we had got my friend high for the first time and we were walking back to town and he's like, obviously stoned and like "*giggle* i feel just like normal. *throws arms around me and other friend* you guys, you know? that wasnt worth it." and then he falls right over, taking us with him, and we just start fucking laughing our asses off.

 

Nah, that was the only time I have ever been there. It would be cool though.

 

One time me and my friend were going to a haunted corn maze thing and my dad was gonna pick us up whenever we called cuz he was at a party or something so we had the house to ourselves. We just finished smoking 2 joints and 3 bowls and went downstairs with some bad cottonmouth and all we had was blue gatorade so we each took one of those. Then we stood in the kitchen for about 10 minutes (maybe longer) trying to drink the gatorade but everytime we took a sip we'd start laughing and spit it up all over the place. The next morning my dad was all pissed because the floor was sticky

 

Okay I have got a good one. A few years ago when I was still in high school my two friends (one male one female) and I decided to skip school. I asked my other friend if I could borrow his car and go out for a while. We were headed for janesville the closest large town. Lacy ( the female friend) said "let's go to mikey's house." i figured what the fuck might as well. so I stopped at Mikey's house. (mikey or mike is a guy that got expelled for possesioin of marijuana and trafficing cocain.) mikey came out and got in the car and we proceeded to go towards janesville. all of a sudden someone from the back seat handed me a smoking bowl and said "it's burnin, want a hit?" i took it and the first hit got me ripped. it was chronic. so we kept smoking and i saw a cop. i'm like "shit i gotta get outta here!" so i sped up and lost the fuzz. I was still doing about 80 and mike yells "turn here" when we were halfway past the road i was supposed to turn on. I, being very "intelligent", decided to turn. Like I said I was doing about 80 mph and it was a 90 degree turn. I went off the road into the snow filled ditch. While in the ditch I hit an electrical box that went flying up in the air behind me. the car rolled into the corn field and I pulled out. I drove down the street and pulled into and abandoned driveway to exxamine the damage. to my surprise the only thing wrong was the hub-cap had a big crack in it. lacy who was a year older than me said she wanted to drive but I wouldn't let her. We went to the park, after dropping mikey off, and sat for a while letting our nerves settle down. Then we went back to school at lunch. well on the way back kyle's moms roomate had seen me driving his car and she called Kyle's mom. Kyle's mom called the school and the school informed the liason officer. He pulled me and lacy into the office along with Ben the other guy who came with us. Lacy blamed everything on me and I got a truancy ticket, a driving without a valid license ticket and a posession of tobacco ticket (at the time i wasn't 18 yet). I couldn't do shit for a month. I have yet to get revenge on the dumb bitch.