i just turned 24,i have 3 little boys 5, 3 and 19 months.when i met my husband i was very shy insecure couldnt talk to anyone.met my husband i was only 17,i wanted him to be my friend,didnt realy have many romantic feelings for him but he fell inlove and i wanted someone so i married my friend basicly i had just met.we got married when i was 4 months pregnat,after baby came and even before i felt very alone.all 3 kids he never tried to bond with or showed any excitement till they were older and came to him.he stopped talking to me when i was pregnat with second baby he just didnt seem to give a shit about his family only his friends at work.drank alot.rite before i got pregnat with baby 3 he stayed out alot sometimes till sun came up,one night he got drunk slept with the town hore and i didnt find out for 2 years.a friend sall him rubbing a girl from works sholders.he acording to her and other rubbed them alot.so i confronted he denined atr first and than admitted.total wake up call for him.he stopped drinking he puts me and kids first,started to actualy acnoledge his 3rd son at almost 1 year of age.everything i have ever wanted from him i get now.kids too.he was a very insacure person also still is.thats why we cliked we understood eachother.problem is i know and understand his mastakes.i forgave him,took months ,problem is i lost feelings for him along time ago.i fell inliove with his hart,and than he turned out to be such a ugle person.now he is that buetiful person i met years ago but ive been trying so hard but i feel he is just my friend.im a very confident woman now.i dont know what to do.i care for him so much and fight all my feelings because i dont want to hurt hiom.he his finaly growing into an awsome person but its just not there with me.all i feel is he is my best friend.should i remane his wife even thow i dont feel it anymore?should i remane his wife sence we have 3 boys.is it fare to him to be married to a woman that dosnt feel tthe way he wants them to?i tell him all the time my feelings but when i see the tears in his eyes it kills me,i do realy care for him.weve talked of liveing together and staying friends for the kids,live at other ends of the house and take care of the kids.would it work?im so scarred.would anyone ever love me and wont to be with a woman with 3 kids?any advise.should i just stay married to my best friend,who wasnt my friend for so many years? its so hard to make a desision i dont want to see him in pain i can tell he realy loves me.someone help zinnia
I come from a broken home. My parents stopped caring for each other a very long time before they separated. They were also married for a long time. I am one of six kids. I guess they did stay together because of us. They fought all the time. It was horrible, very traumatizing. In situations like this there is no right decision. You have to do what you think is best, in your heart you know what that is. You will also have to except your losses. Life is difficult. Learn from your mistakes. Chase after the things you want for yourself. Let the ones you love know how you feel. Teach your children how to love and show affection, so that they will know how to love you in return. You are not protecting you husband from pain by not leaving him. You are keeping him from growing and maturing. People grow wiser from suffering. You can't feel guilty for his self destructive behavior. I am in no position to tell you what to do, but your life is you own, and you only have one. Follow your heart.
I think therapy may be a good place for the both of you to air out your feelings with a mediator. If you don't have a lot of money, you can always talk to a preacher. I think they offer marriage counceling for free. Best of luck and Peace.
I know someone in the exact same situation. It makes me sad because she is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known. Her and her children mean the world to me. I try to be supportive of her, and help her as best I can, but I always fear she will think I help too much. But if i were going to give you the advice I would give her, I would say that this life is yours, its the only one you have. Take your life and run with it, you dont know how long you will have it and you shouldnt waste days feeling confused and tied down with torment of what to do. Your happiness, and your childrens are all that matters and you should do what is best for you and them, not your husband. He is a grown man who will do fine on his own. You cant rekindle a fire when all you have its a handful of its ashes. Live your life and celebrate everday. I would tell her just those things. heron
