I'm in a happy long term relationship and it's going great. The only problem is in the bedroom. I just can't seem to come when it's my girlfriend pleasuring me. She turns me on like crazy but I just can't seem to get there however long she tries. She's been getting me to masturbate to get myself to come after she's been trying (often for a long time). I don't want to get in the habit of doing this though. I don't know what to do. sometimes normal sex works but only when we manage to orgasm together and that's pretty rare. Once she comes, I can't. Watching her is such a huge part of what makes me turned on. It's starting to really upset me because I feel like there's something wrong with me. I've never found this easy and it seems to be getting worse. I don't know how it makes her feel but I'm pretty sure it's not great. We have sort of discussed it but I find it tough. In a relationship where we're very open with each other it feels like the one thing we can't easily talk about.
I had the same problem in all of my relationships so far. It was just very hard for me to come regardless of how turned on I was or how exhilarating the whole process was... but when I masturbate I come like almost every time... so I still haven't figured out if there's something wrong with me or if my ex-gfs did something wrong :/ One thing you could do is to put sex aside for a couple of days and focus on other aspects of your relationship, like the communication between you two or your social life together. Or you could do other stuff together like cooking or redecorating your house or whatever. I don't know what kind of stuff you're both into but I think you're getting my point. Just refrain from having sex for some days and see how it goes after that
