i'm not incredibly anxious, but i've been known to stress myself out due to stupid shit that's probably my fault. i feel like i'm impacted by everything and everyone. if somebody's in pain, i can almost feel it... if somebody says something shitty to purposely piss me off, i get really bummed out. i guess it also doesn't help that it's nearly impossible for me to open up to a lot of people. even those that are close, it almost seems like vulnerability just asks to get trampled on, no matter who you're dealing with. anyway, i feel like there's no off switch. if something's bumming me out, i try not to think about it... but that's really hard for me for some retarded reason. i guess i just feel like i need to lighten my load and learn to walk away... or maybe learn how to open myself up in moderate amounts instead of my horrible all-or-nothing approach. i don't want to close myself off, but i seem to get walked on and taken advantage of if i open my arms. thanks for reading... i guess i'm just looking for some sort of insight of any kind. maybe i am just a failure, i don't even know anymore
If you want real help, seeing a therapist may help, especially if you try CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy). This method combines cognitive and behavioral therapy. Behavioral therapy is based on modifying specific behaviors or self-defeating habits that were learned but maladaptive responses, while cognitive therapy explores how your thoughts and self-talk influences your moods and behaviors, which identifies distortion in thinking that confuse feelings w/ facts. Read your post again. There is a lot of negativity, a lot of self-blame. How does blaming yourself CHANGE anything? It just makes you feel worse by focusing on the negatives, rather than focusing on the finding solutions. It may be impossible to shift your focus from guilt to solution by yourself. This is where a neutral person who knows you (as I and others on here do not), who you talk to on a regular basis can help. Especially when that person has the proper training to deal w/ your situation. Above all, you correctly recognize that there IS a problem, but instead of looking into yourself for the solution, you blame yourself for creating the problem. This is not healthy, which is why I encourage you to seek therapy at the very least. Perhaps lifestyle changes will help as well, such as avoiding those who seem to be "energy vampires" as in, those who seem to drain you emotionally. Find a support network of family and friends who will stick by you. You deserve good friends, but most of all, YOU need to be your best friend, not your own worst enemy. Peace and love
