Any Advice please on being gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Hotbutlonely, Apr 3, 2007.

  1. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    hello - I am a discouraged hot gay guy and need comfort and support please :)
     
  2. darkgamer

    darkgamer Member

    ermm...be yourself and don't let anyone else define you as a person
    it's late :jester:
     
  3. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    I don't really think that you're that good looking at all.
     
  4. darkgamer

    darkgamer Member

    harsh.
     
  5. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    Hah, dude I havent seen you. How can you say you are hot though? What you find attractive, I certainly doubt I would.
     
  6. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    why do you have the need to be so negative to this person, I can't see that he's done anything to prompt it at all, if you want people to respect you on here, please respect others
    S
     
  7. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    Sorry, but when someone comes onto a forum saying "I WANT SEX! I AM HOT LOLolol1o1lo1l1!!!!" its quite frankly fucking annoying and arrogant as hell. Who is he to say that he is 'hot'? Why did he have to point out that he thinks that he is hot? He couldve just as easily said that he was just looking for support and comfort.

    I wasnt being rude to him though, I was just pointing out that what he finds attractive or 'hot', I would probably not. I don't think a fat guy is going to go around saying that he is 'hot', and seeing as I find fat dudes attractive, then I doubt I would find this guy 'hot'.

    Its like me walking up to a bunch of guys and saying something like "I'm really, really, really clever! Oh, and I'm really artistic! Want to be friends?" I mean, what the hell? You don't do that, it's arrogant and rude. What these people consider to be intelligent might be different to what I consider to be intelligent and therefore, by stating that I am very clever is like...imposing your opinions on someone. I don't think I'm making sense now so I will stop.
     
  8. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    Since WHEN did I say I want sex. You are wrong.
    Why is it arrogant to say you are artistic and clever? That means you KNOW who you are and are telling somebody about yourself.......plain and simple..you are bitter.

     
  9. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    No! You were not saying you wanted sex, but often people imply that they do by saying that they are attractive. :( I'm sorry, I've dug myself in quite deep here. I've given you the wrong impression of what I meant. Can I just say sorry and leave it at that? All I meant was that what you find attractive, I dont find attractive necessarily. That is all! It was just twisted into some other strange, rude meaning. Sorry dude.
     
  10. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    Advice on being gay? Well, stay out of trouble, be safe, use your head, etc. etc.

    What exatly are you looking for? Advice: Open up to us a little more. We can only help you if you give us some details on what's bothering you. We have a lovely forum here of people who are more than willing to help you and give you advice. Tell us specifically what's bothering you or what you want to know. :)
     
  11. Loveminx

    Loveminx Sports Racer

    I completely agree.

    It makes him look shallow and full of himself.
    I'm not saying he is but that is the image he presented forth.
     
  12. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    Ugggghhhhhh you guys, so what if that's the image that you think he's presented forth? Big fuckin deal. Why did this thread so quickly change from advice (as vague as it is) to "you're arrogant because you say you're hot"?
     
  13. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    I said I was lonely (meaning I am not really understood and have not so many friends)! ummm I am pretty sure NO arrogant guy would say that. Also that does not mean I want sex. Sex does NOT ever cure lonely feelings at all, ever.

    I am the one who wrote about being treated like crap in the gay community remember I am having a rough time.
    I just am confused about the gay community. Are they very sensitive and cautious around good looking guys because I come across a TON of rejection? It is very confusing to me. I am a verbose and articulate person. I care about other peoples feelings and stuff but I AM not really given the chance to show that. It is like people reject me right off the bat and it is really humiliating.
     
  14. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    LoveMinx, so your screenname is perfect??? huh?


    Point out xactly what seems full of myself and shallow? Point out your idea of shallow or full of myself? Describe that since you are so intelligent and perfect :D



     
  15. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    So what you are saying, in general, if I think of myself as good looking or attractive...that AUTOMATICALLY screams (implies) to others that I want sex?

    I honestly believe that you have to check in with the person to figure out if they want sex or not. You cannot assume that, since that is not what I value the most. I value friendship very much. Friendship is very important to me.

    But like I said I am learning about the gay community and so far I've been constantly rejected without UNDERSTANDING why. I guess it is because I come across as flirtatious? I am a flirt in real life and groom myself really well and fashionable. Does that imply that all I want is sex??? How would you know unless you talk with me and give me the chance to get to know me as a person? It seems like your prejudice and your mistake rather than mine. YOUR THOUGHTS please.




     
  16. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    Sadly that's what a lot of people think. I have a friend who's kind of like that - dress really nicely, grooms himself really nicely, spends a lot of time on his appearance, etc. And he's really attractive. He was telling me that he gets really annoyed that a lot of people think that he's really promiscuous and whatnot, because he most definitely isn't.

    Perhaps you've been rejected because some guys just aren't as interested in the really well-groomed, flirtatious kind. I know that, in the past, I haven't been as attracted to guys if they're really flamboyantly gay.

    For clarification, are you referring to being rejected online, in person, or both?

    (Just to be clear, I wasn't calling you arrogant before.)
     
  17. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    So now I am a flamboyantly gay guy? wow, I don't dress really nice all the time. I wear skin tight wranglers and tight shirts. I LOOK just like a normal handsome guy with good hygiene.

    It is still prejudice to reject people that you DO NOT know. You do not know my personality nor do you know me as a person. Not all "good hygiene" gays are flamboyant. I go to metal concerts and don't mind getting knocked around on the floor....most flamboyants gays won't do that. OK...so it is better to know the person rather than dismiss them right away. I do masculine things like any other straight guy. I am NOT into sewing, painting finger nails, broadway, or anything of that nature.

    Rejection happens both in person and online...mostly because the person refuses to understand me or get to know me. It feels very degrading. They see me only for me when I go out at night which is when I look more dressed up and pretty...but on a daily basis I am not flamboyant.

    And what is wrong with flamboyantly gay?
    I give all nice looking and nice people equal opportunities. No discrimination.

    =amp7325]Sadly that's what a lot of people think. I have a friend who's kind of like that - dress really nicely, grooms himself really nicely, spends a lot of time on his appearance, etc. And he's really attractive. He was telling me that he gets really annoyed that a lot of people think that he's really promiscuous and whatnot, because he most definitely isn't.

    Perhaps you've been rejected because some guys just aren't as interested in the really well-groomed, flirtatious kind. I know that, in the past, I haven't been as attracted to guys if they're really flamboyantly gay.

    For clarification, are you referring to being rejected online, in person, or both?

    (Just to be clear, I wasn't calling you arrogant before.)[/QUOTE]
     
  18. Loveminx

    Loveminx Sports Racer

    I never mentioned your screenname...lol
    Mines about seducing people with love....
    and now that I take a look at yours its like you are saying you want sex lol..like andy said lol

    You wrote you are "hot" in a post....that had nothing to do with the goal you were after...which was comfort and support. Unless, you wanted to be treated differently because you're attractive or something...which is even worse so lets not go there.
    And to think that it matters whether you're hot or not is pretty shallow thinking...if you ever introduced yourself to someone like that in person, you'd be considered a jackass.

    And to self declare yourself hot is what we call being "full of yourself."
    Especially, since Andy is right that people have different ideas of who and what is hot.

    I said that's what you made it seem like, not who you are because I obviously don't know you well enough to make that kind of statement.
    I'm not perfect and you have to admit your post wasn't either because it gave people the wrong idea.

    I'm sorry if I offended you...
    I was just being honest.
     
  19. Hotbutlonely

    Hotbutlonely Member

    YOU are full of yourself to be lecturing and talking down to me as if you are superior. A respectful person would ignore or not mind the comment, as it could be a joke or what not. Instead you criticize as if you are SUPERIOR to me. That in of itself is ARROGANT and you are full of yourself.

    It is YOUR problem and YOUR wrong logic if YOU THOUGHT I wanted sex. Those are your thoughts, they come from YOU. You may really want that and you are projecting your feelings and thoughts onto an innocent persons sceenname and posts. You are prejudice and bitter for some reason UNRELATED to me.
    Focus on the CONTENT of the message rather than a very minor flaw.

    You do not know how silly and funny I am. I have an awesome sense of humor and have been known to make people laugh, therefore I do not take things like calling myself "hot" as SERIOUS...It is online, therefore the seriousness is less valid. You probably WILL not understand since you are prejudice of me.

    You say you want to seduce people with love? That is just as bad. Love happens on its own. It is a two way street. That is what love is about. Love is about empathy, kindness, sharing, common interests etc. I don't need a lecture from you anyways. You are very rude and picking on me for no reason.

    Your comments are very offensive.

    How does it mean I want sex???
    Usually hot guys are not lonely. They get dates and friends and what not. People want to be around hot people...just because.

    You always hear the sad stories of the really chubby girl who never has friends or gets dates because people are shallow....but instead it is me a cute guy who has hardly any friends and doesn't get much dates. People don't give me the time of day nor try to understand or get to know me. They are judgemental and prejudice and hateful towards me. Just as you are being towards me which is very hurtful to me.

    It seems like you are trying to humiliate and punish me. I've had a hard and traumatic life. My life is still very complex and difficult. I don't need you to humilate and degrade me any more.

    If you have NOTHING nice to say then DO NOT SAY it at all.
    Thank You.



     
  20. mushie18

    mushie18 Intergalactic

    god damn.

    drop it. it's the internet...who cares?
     

Share This Page


  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice