Anal sex- female. Hurts.

Discussion in 'Oral and Anal Sex' started by ChaoticGirl, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. ChaoticGirl

    ChaoticGirl Guest

    Ok, so I use to have anal sex quite a lot with an old boyfriend.
    Quite regularly to be honest. I really enjoyed it.
    A year or so has passed since I have had anal sex (properly)
    I have a new boyfriend who wants to have it with me, but he is quite longer and thicker than my last partner.
    It's uncomfortable and sore, where I use to be able to take it like a champ.

    It is my lack of anal sex over the year?
    Or is there any way to loosen myself up before hand?
    I want to do it again ;) but I want to enjoy it too!

    All and any help is useful :)
  2. Stormofswords

    Stormofswords Member

    Use lube.
  3. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    Well, you said it yourself; he's bigger than your last partner. I don't believe there are shortcuts to these things. Take your time getting used to his size, go slow, use lots of lubes, relax, that sort of thing. If you have a safe, clean object you can use, and is slightly bigger than your last partner but is still smaller than your current guy, then try penetrating with that first. I think you need to work up to your new boyfriend's size rather than to make a big jump for it.

    Hope this helps.
  4. ChaoticGirl

    ChaoticGirl Guest

    Yeah we tried lube, it does help... A bit.
    Thanks for the input :)
  5. Glasshopper

    Glasshopper Struggling for sanity

    You might want to try having him massage your anus beforehand to help relax the sphincter muscle and open it up.
  6. silk896

    silk896 Member

    I think there may be a level of anxiety which is causing you to tense.
    You may think you want it, but a little part of your brain attached to your eyes looks at his penis and mentally says. "Heck! Too big! It's gonna hurt!"
    Ergo, your level of enjoyment decreases.

    That fact that you have had anal penetration means you know what to expect - and believe me, with a bit of lube, its amazing what the human body is capable of taking into itself - either vaginally or anally. He's not too big!

    It's easy to say "just relax," harder to do in reality. probably just keep trying, maybe use a dildo beforehand, maybe a double scotch, but one day everything will click and away you'll go.
  7. ChaoticGirl

    ChaoticGirl Guest

    Cheers glasshopper, massage sounds good.
    And thanks silk too, I'm more of a vodka drinker so I'll try a shot or two before hand ;)
  8. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    what does improper anal sex consist of?
  9. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Possibly the penis just rubbing the outside of it without actually penetrating & going into it?
  10. Essef

    Essef Member

    Wear a plug for a while before your date. Or even on your date - he's probably love discovering it.
  11. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Would a larger plug be a bonus before trying anal sex or just what feels comfortable size wise?
  12. ChaoticGirl

    ChaoticGirl Guest

    By proper, I mean that I have tried to have anal sex, but it hurt too much or felt uncomfortable to continue the penetration.
    I may be wrong, but successful anal for me, is where I feel pleasure from it. And till the guy cums from it.
  13. ChaoticGirl

    ChaoticGirl Guest

    Anal plus sparks an idea for me. Never used one before, and I'd have no idea how to keep it in.
    What about beads?
  14. Triple Ace

    Triple Ace Member

    I agree with some of the posters on here, a set of trainer butt plugs would be my suggestion. Once you insert a butt plug it should stay in on it's own.

    Since you're already use to a regular size penis, I'd start with one that size or slightly bigger and then go up to one that is about your current partners size.

    You will have to SLOWLY dilate your anus to accommodate him without hurting yourself. Make sure you bear down like you're trying to pass gas when he's entering. This will dilate the anus to make the initial penetration less painful.

    Anal sex will honestly take more patience, practice and preparation with a bigger penis but pleasurable anal sex is still possible. People do not see the preparation porn stars do before hand with plugs and foreplay to be able to accommodate those anacondas, and even sometimes they still look uncomfortable. Even though poppers are still very popular amongst the gay and porn community for added relaxation and stretching I don't recommend taking drugs.

    Some women are just more flexible back there. My wife was a virgin anally and vaginally when I met her. She didn't even find her first anal to be slightly painful, she always enjoyed it from day 1, where as other girls took a lot of practice and prep.

    It's A LOT of work to accommodate a large penis anally so it will probably not be something you will be doing regularly anymore, unless you want to wear a butt plug all the time. Surprise or spur of the moment anal is a thing of the past.

    The fact of the matter is that when it comes to anal size matters, even with stretching anal sex may always be a little painful with a larger penis.

    Honestly I'm glad I have a regular size cock, because even with foreplay I still sometimes send my wife off with a sore bum. Watching porn back when I was a virgin I use to think a regular size cock is inadequate, thank God I got a regular size one because I LOVE pounding ass! Even with anal prep. most big guy can't spread their girls butt cheeks and really ram it in there.

    Nothing better than hearing your girl moan in ecstasy as you watch her big buns ripple as you pound your cock in and out of her ass.

    If you don't want to do the work you may just have to stop having anal or find a regular size guy if it's that important to your sex life.

    Just my .02,

  15. Triple Ace

    Triple Ace Member

    There is nothing more arousing than having a woman enjoying getting her ass split open by your cock.
  16. PineMan

    PineMan Senior Member

    Experiment with different positions.

    In my own experience I started off in the way I had become so familiar with from all the porn showing the typical method of Anal Penetration to be Doggy Style. I always found this to be extremely complicated, both by making penetration in the first place, mainly because the angle of entry would cause the penis to fly away in opposing directions whenever it met with any resistance - especially when highly lubed. However, once I moved onto trying the basic Missionary Position (usually with the legs of the receiver hooked over the shoulders of the giver), this made things a lot easier all round.

    Having tried this from both sides (top & bottom) I've found penetration to be much easier, and as it's only the initial entry that really causes any discomfort, this makes things far more satisfying all round as a direct result.
  17. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    You can buy a set of 3 anal plugs in 1 pack for getting prepared for anal or just for seeing which plug you prefer for size.
  18. cbcrazy

    cbcrazy Member

    ... or how about you tell him it hurts too much, so you'll have to decline his invitations to do anal? Nothing wrong with that you know.
  19. Triple Ace

    Triple Ace Member

    Agreed. Pain means damage is happening, and you don't want that. Anal should be pleasurable.

    I think you need to stop doing anal; at least regularly, maybe just on special occasions or on your period sometimes. I think he's too big for you. Find a regular size guy if you need it in the bum on the regular.

    Or stick to anal masturbation by yourself. If you are persistent in taking him anally, masturbation is a great way to stretch yourself. I don't like this idea though. I like the idea of relaxing the anus but stretching to me seems unsafe in the long run but i could be wrong.
  20. Hiya .. Introduce him (and perhaps yourself) to some toys.. butt plugs are great (use lube too though) but any dildo type toy is good enough. My Sir likes to play with my bum A LOT, so it gets quite a bit of other treatment prior to him giving me anal.

    Also.. again, plenty of lube, get him just to go in real slow, perhaps just half of his shaft at first as this will also help before he goes full on in it :)

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