An open letter to Rachael Ray

There is no place on your body I wouldn't put my mouth.

I want to feel my man goo explode inside of you, then on your face, then on your beautiful tits.

There is no substance your body could excrete that I wouldn't lap up with glee.

There is no limit to the amount of time I would love to tongue-punch your leathery donut.

I would love to floss my teeth with your pubic hair.

I would be proud to be your personal toilet.

 

Oh stop it already Cassanova! Your romantic words just make my knees weak!

 

Are you a Food Network groupie?

 

No, he's just a nut.

 

While you are down there....

 

Hehehe, leave it to you!

 

Does my reputation precede me as a woman pleaser? I wont deny it.

 

yet another forum man whore.

 

yet another forum man hater.
j/k i dont know if you hate men or not. just dont hate me

 

I don't know, does it?

 

fyi I DISLIKE MOST men.



not all.


but
most.

 

Has lesbianism ever crossed your mind? Maybe you arent attracted to men.

 

she wants me.

 

Will you train her in all your amorous ways? That's hot!

 

i DO have quite the set o' skills...i shall consider it.

 

I bet I also could learn a thing or two from you o wise one.

 

wouldn't it be weird if it turned out she used to be a man?

 

You fucking wish. That would make you so happy, youd bust a nut.

 

I can think of one guy that Im attracted to.

 

I think that about all chicks tho....cuz it does make me bust nuts all through my pants, and it drips down my leg, oh its such a sticky fucking mess