Amber Warm Dissemination

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Stubb0rnSt0n3r, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. Stubb0rnSt0n3r

    Stubb0rnSt0n3r Banned

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    shakin' awake to the sound of explosions in the dark

    a sky is filled with mind fucking blinding fight
    the ground upon which I stand is trembling against my nerves

    solidarity in angst acts against the plaguery flowing freely beyond
    down below gurgles between a mixture of hot and cold
    the venting here above is no less threatening

    a breathe through the toxins, is an apron against the dust
    in the distance there is no welcome, voices, whaling, terror
    radiance of burning piles on the ground like flairing strips in the sky overhead

    tears are only to whet my keen visions' drive to know
    where am I, what happened, such disaster, mutilation
    I know I've seen this in a dream before, and off I go

    terrible things of such joy have taken over once again
    I hold my reigns upon the carrying waves, like rock they flow
    like water they barricade, manny broken pieces to my crashing

    down at the ground I look beyond and through, closer does it appear
    hotter does my body burn as I burrow deep down into the infested shell of this corroding core of contemptuous writhing surrounding and vacant

    lancing about and lurking furtherwide, I came upon her
    flailing hair, embrues skin, laden temperement, and incinerating lust
    I have her, swollen, seething, embarring, intoxicated...deceased, we lurk.
     
  2. Bradshaw

    Bradshaw Member

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    I like your words, and the disparity in them. If it were me I might make use of the present tense of some your wordings, instead of so many "..ing's..". Like with, "..the ground upon which I stand is trembling against my nerves.." you could use, "the ground upon which I stand, trembles against my nerves". Just a thought.
     
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