am i vain?

is it vain to automatically discount a possible relationship with a girl if she is fat or ugly? for some reason, fat girls are the ones who tend to like me.i dont get it, i honestly dont. and ther good people, sometimes with good personalities, but the thing is, i just can justify going out with someone who in unnatractive just for a personality. i need to be attracted to them.

im just so fucking frustrated. tonight a heavy girl i know was throwing out all these hints. im just thinking, god, what did i do to deserve this?

one of my best friends is a girl who is fat and ugly, and i probably would be in a relationship with her if it wasnt for that. in fact, she used to like me, and she told me one time, and we kind of left it unresolved. but i think she still likes me. if she was attractive i would take her in a second. but she isnt. but if she was hot, she probably would have a boyfriend anyway and wouldnt want me

 

I suggest you drive really fast into a wall

 

Hahahaha, omg lmao!!!!

 

No really I hate shallow people I'd ass rape him if i had the chance

 

I mostly feel sorry for you. I can understand that you want to be attracted to someone yet these could potentially be really great woman. I like the way I look but consider the greatest compliment is when someone says I have a great personality or that I'm their best friend. I was this sort of person to a few guys I dated when I gained a few pounds, they didn't take me seriously as girlfriend material. Then I found my husband who wanted me even when I was heavier and being happy and accepted by him motivated me to take care of myself. So I lost the weight and a couple of those previous guys where kickin' themselves in the behind. Remember this: looks fade (even for the extremely beautiful) but friendships last a lifetime.
P.S. Watch the movie "Shallow Hal" :X

 

lol oh geez.yeah you're shallow but everyone's allowed to have their preference adn all men have different preferences

 

Sorry to say, but my very first impression is if the guy/girl is hot or not. Then, if their personality sucks, it's adios! The sexual chemistry is of upmost importance in my book.

 

Have you ever considered that maybe hot chicks dont go for you because they think you are 'fat and ugly'...

Now how does that feel.

Maybe larger chicks are considerate enough to bother offering you the time of day because they know how it feels to be rejected

You dont even deserve what you throw away.

 

am i vain?11-30-2004 02:04 AM
you dont count hahahahahahahahahaha

 

haha, i am sooo dieing to know what you look like..
you say someone is your best friend, and then you call them fat and ugly..oh god, please be my friend, pllleeeaaassee..

 

well, I do understand how being attracted to someone is important in a relationship

but surely there's more to attraction than just looks? Doesn't personality play into it at all? For a lot of people, you can get at least a hint of their personality through they way they move, how they dress, how they speak.

And yeah, you sound vain to me. But that's because I'm a "fat" chick. Thanks for making all the slightly overweight girls feel just fabulous about themselves.

 

I don't think you're especially vain. Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what sort of people and qualities they find attractive.

A number of girls in this thread http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46981 said they find it too weird to date a short guy. Does that make them vain? At least most people can do something about their weight - height, not so much. On the other hand, several said that once they got to know certain short guys, their personalities more than compensated for the lack of height.

I dated a girl for a couple of years who was by no means skinny, and we were very happy together. The worst part was that a few buddies weren't shy about giving me shit about dating a "fat" girl. In that regard, I can understand your hesitation because it sucks having anyone tell you that your partner isn't good enough by their standards - especially if you're mocked for it (and guys aren't shy about mocking their friends when the opportunity presents itself). If you feel the way you do about heavier women, chances are you associate with guys who share that perspective. That can make it kind of hard to take a chance on someone you otherwise find endearing.

Just know that by limiting the playing field, you might miss out on a good thing. To each their own.

- Hanzo Sword

 

We all have different likes and dislikes, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, sometimes it helps to keep an open mind, as you just might miss out on the love of your life if you always stick to certain standards. Besides, looks can fade, weight can be lost, weight can be gained. What truly matters is the person inside and how they make you feel. Haven't you ever not been attracted to someone at first, yet found them more appealing the more you've gotten to know them? A person who might not be beautiful in someone else's eyes can become the most gorgeous person on the face of the earth in the eyes of someone in love.

Much luck to you...

 

There was this girl that I didn't find attractive, and was even put off by her vain character for a long time, but later she showed my great kindness, and I madly fell in love with her...
Now isn't this one of the greatest love poems ever?


My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

W. Shakespeare

 

vain? no. sex is all about what you want.

 

I am torn on this I have been with someone before who let themselves get very overweight after we had been together for awhile and I lost a lot of repsect for them for it especially after I learned how to grocery shop and cook basic healthy things so he would have the choice to eat healthy. At the time I had a really high metabolism so he would just bitch that it wasn't fair that I could eat whatever I wanted-so i even ate healhty to make it easier. Now in saying this I do like guys who have some weight on them and I am chubby-definitley but I couldn't imagine letting myself get to an unhealthy point- ever. SO for me it's not vanity but it's more a self respect thing and if someone can'tt ake care of themselves how can they take care of me?

 

well, i think quagmire said it best, "Hey fat chicks need love too. They just gotta pay."

 

I feel sorry for you because it could stop you from finding real love and I feel sorry for me because I am in the club right next to you, I could never date a fat chick, I can't help being vain and neither can you, and anyone that tries to say they aren't vain is a fuckin' liar because I can guarantee none of these people pointing fingers would go out with someone if they were super fuckin' disfigured, not one

 

mhm that's what I was thinking......how sad.


Also, it is perfectly okay and acceptable to have preferences. Attraction is important, but ...I don't know.

 

I mean yeah i agree with you you need to be some what attracted to someone to go out with them, but sometimes the hottest people are the biggest asswholes. Ide rather go out with a not so good looking guy who is super nice then a hott guy who is a complete jerkoff...