Am I undateable?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by ballinNy34, Apr 4, 2007.

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  1. ballinNy34

    ballinNy34 Member

    I need a date.

    It's been over a year since I've even been on a date. I'm a normal girl around 5'8, average weight, decent looking, and yet no one ever seems to approach me or ask me out. I don't think I'm intimidating or anything, I have a good personality and a bright future (studying towards a degree in medicine at a local university). I go out to the bars and never even get approached. I need some advice ... what do you guys do to get noticed? I'm only 20 years old and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone .. all of my friends are starting to get hooked up and hitched and I'm feeling left out. I have some pics up for reference at (hit me up, lets chat! =) if you need to see what I look like ... any comments are appreciated. Oh, and I'm in New York if that makes a difference.

  2. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    well, i cant tel which girl you are sine there are a half dozen in the photo but theyre all pretty so i dont think thats the problem

    the profile you listed doesnt say much about you, doesnt sell yourself to anyone. and i wouldnt trust bars to find the love of your life (ok thats not what yous aid your looking for but still, none o fmy friends have found a good serious relationship with someone from a bar).

    dont be afraid to approach others or take the lead. dont be afraid of dating sites either, ones wher eyou actually have to fill out more information about yourself, about what you want in yoru partner, all that shit. there are some good free ones out there like and ive met a few of my (no ex) boyfriends on those sites. but yeah, um, dont forget to try and sel yourself on those profiles
  3. Sunburst

    Sunburst Fairy

    I can't say anything, really, because I can't explain it, but just let me tell you that you are SO CUTE!! I can't believe guys never approach you!
  4. Slothguy

    Slothguy Member

    Here's an idea that not enough girls do.... APPROACH A GUY! Girls are too stuck in the mind set that they need to be approached, just get out there and talk to a guy, I GUARANTEE you he will be happy that you talked to him. If it leads to something further, well then there ya go.
  5. just a tiger

    just a tiger Member

    Best advice !!!!

    And you dont have to do it directly if you're a little shy or afraid of rejection. Just flirt with at them, be friendly... look at their eye's with a soft/warm look when you talk to them - just send the message that you want him.
  6. warlock

    warlock Member

    I checked your photo out and I find you attractive Leah. I'm 34 y/old but look like I'm 23 y/old and I've been single since the year 2003. Quite a while. Don't give in your only young and still have lots of time to find the right guy :).

  7. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

    Bravo, Slothguy!

    Are you actually from New York or just live here?

    Tell you what...I don't really waste my time approaching women or anything --- I wait to be approached by them, or at least till I get a clear signal. A lot of guys worth their salt in New York have a similar attitude.

    You gotta understand: guys, regardless of how attractive and interesting they might be, get shot down almost automatically by like 90% of women ever since they've reached puberty. EVERY male I've known has had the same experience (except for my former boss, who was rich). By the time they reach your age, 23, they have the right to be pretty jaded. Especially in this town.
  8. DepTh

    DepTh Member

    sry but we can only be friends
  9. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

    This makes me laugh. Have you ever known anyone who hasn't been to a bar? I keep hearing women talk about bars as though they are dens of inequity, when the people who frequent bars are the same who go to work, do laundry, and go grocery shopping.

    For a while now I've been trying to understand why cross-gender interaction in bars is so superficial. People MAKE IT that way. Women assume men in bars are no-good reprobates, and men assume women in bars are whores.

    The only explanation I can find is this country's long-standing puritan tradition and anxiety concerning alcohol consumption.
  10. mkc414

    mkc414 Member

    Maybe bars arent the best scene for you. I've met cool people in bars (I'm a musician so I am out more than the average person), but overall the clubbing thing can get pretty superficial. People bring a costume version of themselves.
  11. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    of course ive been to bars, im just saying they arent the best place to hook up, to find the love of your life type person. theres a chance but its a little slim. the bars here blast music so loudly that you cant really hear unless your screaming into eacho thers ears though. and im not in the same country as you, just as an fyi, but i do agree with the gender assumption thing. i dont go to the bar to find people i go to dance with my girls so its easy enough ot ignore the irritating people for me... but im not on the prowl looking for someone there
  12. Bongish

    Bongish Banned


    I'd have to say the answer is positively "YES", you are undateable.
  13. EazyE

    EazyE Senior Member

    I dunno, i guess people get times where no one appears interested in them. After all you cant expect everyone to want to date you.
    I would date you, if i was 15 years older lol.
  14. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

    I agree with this...for sure. I just had yet another alienating experience yesterday. Got kicked out of this bar for touching an ugly girl's ridiculous dress for 5 seconds. Then fell flat on my face and my chin was bleeding (now it's only swollen). Then danced my ass off at the only place we went that had acceptable music (that was fun though). Then got a summons for urinating in public. Then got this fabulous spanish food (rice, beans, chicken, hotsauce of course).

    But really, all I wanted was a quiet night. This asshole convinced me to go out (a friend for 11 years). It still bothers me that he thinks about women too much when he goes out. He used to be able to just dance.

    The only legitimate attitude for any self-respecting man is to ignore women entirely.
  15. EazyE

    EazyE Senior Member

    Why did you touch her dress? You remind me of Lennie from Of Mice And Men.
  16. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

    Who the hell is Lennie from Of Mice and Men? Can't be pride talking. I don't know why I touched her dress, sorry. I have no better answer. It was one of those freaking bailarina affairs, the thing stuck out. So I grabbed it. Nothing more natural!
  17. EazyE

    EazyE Senior Member

    Watch the movie and you will know what i mean.
  18. nycboi39

    nycboi39 Member

    godDAMN thats a hot chick. def not undateable ;)
  19. lionman80

    lionman80 Member

    You are not undateable, but you like baseball. That is a huge turnoff for me, but I'm hitched anyway. I hate baseball more than anything!

    Football and scary movies are cool!
  20. Zoomie

    Zoomie My mom is dead, ok?

    Wow, you're a real group of Einsteins, aren't you?

    Gentlemen, that was what we in MENSA like to call SPAM.

    Congrats, you've been tugging it to a bot. Nice.

    PS- Lionman, you only hate baseball cuz' that Chimp you Texans sent to the White House owned your team. No worries, I hate the Rangers too.
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