am I the result of some kind of sexual abuse?

I have a bad family structure. Well there's this guy I look like a lot throughout growing up. I mean exactly alike and I look like his mother as well when she was young. I don't know my dad. But he's only 14 years olderthan me. My mom was an adult when she had me. This guy I suspect is my dad is mother's exbf's younger brother. He also accused my mom's ex bf of rape. And lives across the country now. He is supposedly coming back for our cousin's funeral. I've not seen him in the present day. Now my mom is an abuser too. She abused me. So like why not him as in the guy I'm suspecting. I mean if both of them were that way I don't see why they'd have an issue both of them abusing someone? My mom tries to say my dad is her exbf but a dna test proved that wasn't so. O don't look like him at all either. She also was really close with her ex up until he died. He accepted me as if he were my dad. Who would do that unless he knew she hadn't cheated and it was just some abuse thing and not an affair. Does any of this make sense? Well I've built up anger if this is so. And I don't know how to deal with it. Like who leaves an innocent kid in the care of rapists? I mean that's just unbearable cruel. I actually am sort of in that family as like family friends are. I wanted to go to but I can't stand him if this is so. I mean it's something I want to know it would be too tempting. Could I get anyone's opinion please?

 

What a sad story. Man, I hope you can put all the crap aside and realize that you are you - you are unique. You are not your mom, your mom's boyfriend or his brother. You are you - screw them all. Do what you must to survive but all the drama is not your fault and out of your control.
You can be a kid. You can be a cool teenager and be educated - make friends that care about you. It's all in your reach because you ARE NOT THEM!!!
Love and you will be loved - if not by your family - by your friends and lovers.
I love you already and I don't know you from shit.

Don't let others screw up YOUR life. It's yours and nobody else.
If you are kind, you will receive kindness
If you are compassionate you will get compassion
If you reject hate, it has no hold over you

Show all those bastards you are a better human being than they are. You will receive the benefit while they can lay in their own feces.

Bless you man. The world is what you make it.

 

my mom's exbf didn't #use me neither did mthe other guy. I just feel if he knew about her why couldn't he have told someon I dontreally know how to hndle his coming. I hate him so much. For leaving me with her if he did. But I don't really have an explanation for the obvious resemblance and the fact that my mom never would tell me who my dad is and her ex took me not being his daughter well.

 

I hurt for you. You have anger, pain, rage and want answers. Who do you suspect is your biological father - you mom's ex or his brother and which do you dread seeing?
If you must have answers and your mom is unwilling, then if you feel you can, you are going to have to sit down with one of these guys, the one who is kindest and most compassionate and talk about it. Are you at a point in your life you can do something like that. Try not to freak out if possible but just "I need to know."
You may never know - but again -- "YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEM!!" You are only in control of YOU - and you have got to hold onto that.
I know you are young, I know you hurt and words don't help much. You may never know but in a few years you will be on your own and you will find someone who loves you because you're you.
Hold onto that like grim death - don't let go!! You may never get the answers you want - and if you do they not resolve anything in your heart.
You're heart is what is broken but you can fix it. Maybe not in the short run - but in time.
If you have other relatives that care for you - use them - that is what God made them for - to care for you and help. If not, you will have to help yourself. Hang in there.
Hate and anger does nothing to your mom or anyone else but YOU!! Don't let your heart be poisoned by others.
I don't know what to say to help you. Maybe others will have more insight. Keep checking Hip Forum. There are some wise people here.

 

What exactly do you want our opinion on?

 

I guess you're rigt it's just hard to let go of the upsetting feelings especially when he'll be here. I don't have much family but I've got a family of my own sort of. I was talking about my mom's ex's brother. My mom's ex was proven to not be my dad. I am just curious to find out the truth… I don't know like how does one approach this? And I don't see him this would be the first time and not appropriate obviously. Not to mention if it's true he'd probably not be interested in having anything to do with his abuser's daughter. My mom wouldn't say anything perhaps she doesn't want it to get out. But idk. I'm making too many assumptions aren't I?

 

does it seem possible should I try to find out or does it seem impossible? That's what I was asking?

 

You feel. You want to know. That's to be expected. We all want to know what our history is. If you don't feel you can talk to him then thereis little hope really knowing what you need to know.
My guess is someday your mom will tell you - perhaps she thinks you are too young to grasp the whole situation.
My advice, whatever the circumstance were, they created you. Without them there would be no you. There is a reason you are here beyond two people having sex.
Wonder if you will, but the reality is YOU were created. That my friend is a very good thing.

 

there are some links on the sticky thread in this forum that may be helpful to you

 

This is crazy! What possible difference can it make in your future if you were the result of abuse? Why the hell people want to ruin their future by digging into the unknown past totally evades me. I knew my Dad, but if I hadn't I wouldn't have given a hoot. It's only important that you have a future and don't ruin the future by serving yourself drama!