Am I Pathetic?

Hi, I am a 19 year old guy. I have been playing with my self since I was 11 and pretty much masterbate once or more aday. I have never had a girl friend and find it hard to talk to girls. Basicaly I am a virgin. Also I am consently horny like I never used to be. Ill be just sitting there and get urges to play with myself. I feel I will never get a girl friend ... And I am "feeling" not like my self.

What should I do? , is this even normal?

 

It is not irregular to experience these kinds of feelings, however it is not healthy to put them in such a light. When you are ready for a girlfriend, and if you really want one at the time, it will come. For now, remember that all you really need is yourself, and ultimately thats all you've got. If you're not comfortable with yourself you will naturally find it difficult to find a girlfriend. Take pleasure in platonic friendships. Eventually you will find opportunity and then you can take it or leave it, depending on how you feel at the time.

 

I don't know what it is but I get really strange around girls... That's one reason I don't ask any out... I am not a person who just wants "sex" but its all I can think about and it makes me uneasy... I don't even talk to girls on aim ... its maddening I am not so social and it makes it even harder to even be around girls...

 

Masturbation is completely normal and healthy. Not masturbating is more worrying to me than masturbation on it's own (just because, most people I know who don't masturbate regularly are rather sexually repressed and that's sooooo not what I look for in a partner heh)

From what I've heard, it's pretty normal for guys (especially those under 30 or so) to be thinking about sex all the time, or close to all the time. If you're 19, then you could always try dating sites like plentyoffish.com and okcupid.com (both free) to start up email conversations with gals, but it doesn't always work out to a date in the end.

I know us girls can seem pretty fuckin terrifying but we aren't, really. Are you in school still? Next time you have class, just sit down to a girl who seems interesting (works best if you don't know anyone in the class btw) and start talking about the class. Easy subject material since you know for sure she's in the class!

 

I couldn't do that... I would turn red... - mean I do talk to girls (my coworks) but I mean I struggle to talk on my own. An example would be the other day... I found out a girl (who seems like a person who would make a good friend) liked a common intrest. I could only reply... I had to fight to make my own statement and it never quit felt right... I mean its not like I love her or even wanted to sleep with her... My heart just beats fast around girls and I don't know how to explain it ...

 

it almost sounds like you have social anxiety or something similar, though centred around women instead of people in general. Have you looked into counselling at all?


Sometimes, the only way to overcome something it simply suck it up and try. Yeah you'll get rejected because everyone gets rejected at some point in their lives, but if nothing else it'd be a learning experience right?

 

I don't think a shrink would help... (Used to go to one when my mom and dad get devorced- it did help so I didn't even go to one after my father shot himself 2 years ago) I put a thing on one of those sites you posted ... I don't know though I missed the "dateing stage" when I was younger and feel it may be impossible for me to start... I can't even keep a intesting conversation... or know any thing "date" related... Most every one else has ... I really haven't even kissed a girl.

 

If you want the situation to change, you have to take steps to change it.

So what if it's as small as emailing back and forth with a cute girl. Or a non-cute one. I'm on both those sites, listed as just looking for friends and I just email back and forth with a few gent's on it, nothing serious just talk.

I know you've probably rationalized a thousand and six reasons as to why you're this way, or why you can't do x y or z, but if you want change you have to force it. Or else learn to be happy with things the way they are.

 

Well right now you are talking to girls in this forum. And you are making your own statements and such. Clearly doing it in person is much different. But girls arent all evil. When I am looking for a conversation starter, I usually talk about music. It's my passion. Talk about something your passionate about. You'll find the conversation much easier. Music is always good because every one likes one genre or another. I am terribly sorry to hear about your father.

 

I was a little like you a year or so ago and what has been said before just talk to 1 girl about something that you know then once you can overcome talking to 1 then its just natural. The first step is always the hardest but its better just to do it than complain.

 

This is differnt because I have a lot of time to think about what to write and its not like "talking" well it is (and just so you know I did have trouble just when I read the secound paragraph of her 1st reply)-lake of fire

 

Shy guy - you can get addicted to masturbation. You might try to taper off as little. Some of your anxiety stems from your disfunctional home life - your parents got divorced and your father shot himself. This would affect anyone a lot. Try to see a psychiatrist again,and talk about your shyness problem around girls.

At 19 you are just beginning your relationships with the opposite sex, and who knows, tomorrow you may meet a girl you really like, who really likes you. Keep looking, and when you find a girl you like, try talking to her and listening to what she is saying, and show interest in her. She may show interest back in you. And if sex happens it happens, but don't push it.

 

Thank you all

 

Wanna really get over the lonely feeling? The Japanese kids have a wonderful way: get with a group (males AND females) for dating and travel: Church, social clubs, hobby clubs - where the subject prevents worries about emotion involvement. Masturbating isn't so easy to control, and while you can wip it out anywhere, you're not likely to in a church basement filled with young adults, a stamp club with ages from 15 to 70, etc. Also you need something to take off the emotional pressure at home. Take up a musical instrument- you're not likely to wank while tickling the keys of a piano or trumpet, or strumming a guitar. Get off your wanking ass and get with other grownups. Sex and dates will have to wait until you feel more comfortable with PEOPLE in general. Git goin'!!

 

probably just unlucky mate. *shrugs*

 

I am finding even hard to send an email on that site... I wish I wasn't so shy

 

just get hammered and make an idiot of yourself. Beats being lonely and shy forever.

 

Shy Guy - you are a 19 year old, heterosexual guy from PA with a Leo sign. There are probably 100,000 guys exactly like you in PA. This is an anonymous discussion unless you want it otherwise, so don't be shy. Keep posting. Perhaps we can help to bring you out of your shell.

 

Since you were 4!?!? Bit of an over exaduration or what? I wouldnt have thaught youd know what masterbation was at that age. lol

 

1. You're normal.
2. I get the urges to play with myself regularly.
3. You will get a girlfriend.