Am I Being Used?

I met this chick a few weeks ago, and I kinda liked her and I guess she kinda liked me, so I decided to play hard to get a little bit and she took the bait.

So now I'm semi-living with her. Here's the situation.

She has a four year old, extremely codependant son. If she goes into another room without him, he'll start a fit and chase after her. He sleeps in the same bed as her. Every. Single. Night. He doesn't go to bed until like 2 AM and wakes up at 10 AM. What makes it worse is that the mother is codependant too.

She has a condition known as "myo-fascial" or something, in her shoulders. She's on DSS because she can't work considering she can't lift anything over 5 lbs. She takes medication for it, but the medication makes her tired, groggy, cranky, and leaves her in bed pretty much all day. And she had her dosage increased today.

So I find that when I'm at her house, she asks me to do her a lot of "favors"... "could you do me a favor? could you do dishes for me, I haven't been able to get up and do them myself today." and it's not like I can say "no", since she feeds me (even though usually I'm the one cooking it) and let's me sleep at her house. So I'm always picking up, cleaning, and doing things for her.

When we first got together, neither of us were ready for sex. Well, I'm ready now, because things with my ex are completely and irreversibly over. I asked the new chick when she thought she would start getting ready, and she basically made a comment "when you have a job", but worded a little bit nicer.

Today she had a doctor's appointment and basically came home to tell me that because of how sick she is and the medication she's on, she's not allowed to have "relations" without being on two forms of birth control. Meaning, the pill, and condoms. I asked her "so we have to use a condom EVERY time?" and she said "yes." Don't get me wrong, safe sex is cool and all... but sex with a condom is pointless to me. I don't feel anything and I can't achieve orgasm. So it defeats the whole purpose OF sex for me. And even if I convinced her not to use a condom once in a while, she has herpes, and even though she hasn't had an outbreak in over 2 years, there's always that small chance she's shedding.

So basically this is how our relationship will be: I'll be a cuddle bitch 24/7... in fact she didn't let me leave the house one time because she wanted me to stay when she was sick. How often are we gonna have sex with her sick all the time, considering there's also a nosey four year old in the house who can't keep away from mommy? Once a week, IF that? And when we do, we have to be quiet, and I'll have to be bringing home a paycheck, and I'll have to use a condom which means I won't even be enjoying it. And I guarentee every day I come home after work, there'll be picking up to do, and she'll ask me to help her do it, and I won't even fucking feel like it since I'll be doing all this shit for a bitch I can't even cum inside.

So is it worth it, or should I abandon ship ASAP?

 

That comment alone is your answer because if all you are worried about is "cumming in the bitch" do both of you a favor and move out.

Let me guess, you didn't know she was sick and had a needy four year old before you moved in right? Yes, the relationship (for lack of a better word) has some huge obstacles. Chances are pretty good that she takes advantage of you from time to time. She also probably feels like hell most of the time. None of that really matters though because all you see her as is a "bitch you can cum in".

So, pack your bags and move out....seems pretty simple. You'll both be better off in the long run.

:nopity:

 

Why the hell should she respect you or want you to sleep with her? You sound like a 13-year-old boy.

 

Let me give you a guys advice. I would sit her down and talk to her about the issue. Tell her you are trying to commit to her, and understand that there are obsticles that you two will face. If you can commit to doing house work, and taking care of a 4 year old and helping her out, than she should be more considerate that you have a problem and need to go condomless or it doesnt feel good. I mean, i feel bad for her problems, but if she cant put out a little for you, like once a week, yet you can do everything for her, than yeah, leave the "bitch" because thats exactly what she is. I hope she knows that there are more methods of safer sex, than just birth control and condoms. Anyway good luck to you man, hope my 2 cents helps out.

 

Move on because you're both going to end up miserable and at each other's throats in front of an innocent child who already seems to have some issues. You resent her already, after only a few weeks. What happens in a few months or years? Especially when it doesn't even seem like you care about her or her son, and are possibly just in it for what you can get as a "trade" for what you do. Both of you want to take, and neither want to give.

 

you dont want to be with her. break it off and move on. youll feel resentful in the relationship if it continues on any further

 

Go out, and have sex with as many women as possible. Trust me, you'll get over her quick.

 

Well, I do want to be with her, but I don't feel like compromising my sexual freedom just because some chick thinks its wrong that I want to sleep with her, or because women can't face the stark reality that, yes, sex is payment.

Thanks Underoathxxx. You give some pretty good advice and actually understand where a man is coming from. Thanks for smacking me back to reality.

There's easier fish in the sea. I guess she appealed because she seemed to be "nice".

 

are you still at her place?

 

ahha

but seconded.

 

Leave this relationship, not for your sake but for hers.

 

If this is your attitude then do us women a favour and deal solely with prostitutes and leave the rest of us alone. Sex is suppose to be a mutual exchange of pleasure, if you can't realize this than ur not capable of making love to a woman so why should she have sex with you.

She has very valid reasons for concern and she has more regard than you apparantly for your health.
There is workarounds for this situation but I have to go now so later.

 

Wow, God forbid a man actually wants to sleep with a woman! I guess in this day and age it's okay for a woman to use a man to her personal gain, but it's not okay for a man to ever want to have sex. Whatever, ya'll sound like a bunch of prudes who'll dangle the possibility in a man's face just to get what she wants, without actually ever putting out... and I bet if a dude actually called you on that shit, you'd flip the fuck out for being found out.

Whatever. It's obvious she's just stringing me along on the possibility of sex just to have a man around to help her. No thanks, not my deal, I'm not daddy.

Thanks for the wake up call girls. Sad to see there's more and more bitches in the world these days.

 

Wow, God forbid a woman does not want sex! People aren't downing you because you want to sleep with her, it's more your attitude, like sex is the only thing you're there for, at least that's how it's come across in your posts.

You obviously don't have strong feelings for her to stay with her after even a few weeks, I think people's advice is right, you could both find someone better suited to each of you.

 

She's paying all the bills hun and you're living in her house rent free without a job. Why would she want to sleep with you? Do you honestly think this is appealing.

And sorry, if having standards means I am a bitch...then I guess I'm a bitch.
This chick would be better off looking into state resources for home help with her disability. Maybe you can be a man about things and look into this for her before you leave? You know, do something unselfish for another person without expecting sex. It's quite a concept.

 

(nosey four year old in the house who can't keep away from mommy) move on cause you don't care nothing for kid or woman.... only thing you are wanting is a peice of pussy..... which nothing is wrong with that but fine you another woman who ain't sick and with no kids to cramp your style

 

funny, i thought woman were attracted to assholes and guys who didnt give a two shits about them. im suprised you havent gotten laid already! haha so what did you, leave her or stay with her?

 

I'm pretty much appalled at this post...

I think someone should just call the WAAAAAAAAAAmbulance for him...

What a deuchebag.

 

To me this whole thing had nothing to do with sex within a relationship. I'm not a prude, but I'm also not going to give it up to some guy who doesn't respect me or seems to really care. You act as if you're in it to see exactly what you can get out of it, not because she's a "nice person". Do you really treat all women you come into contact with like this? By saying things like, "I guess the bitch won't even let me cum in her"? If so, it's a wonder you've ever been laid because the women I know and I would not put up with that kind of disrespect and bs for any amount of time.

She's not a tease. She's a sick woman with a four year old to think of, and what she needs is a real man with potential who can put her needs and her son's before his own because that's what a real man does when it comes to a family (whether it's his own or a ready-made one when he steps into the picture). This is a test, and you're failing sweetie.

These are the reasons I say move along.

 

No this isn't it at all, it's ok for a man to want sex, it's this "sex as payment" shit that has me razzled, where's the seduction, the romance in that. As far as I know she owes you nothing, ur staying there for FREE aren't you.

Anyways u haven't sat down to talk to her about what her main concerns are. Maybe they are of being re-infected which she may be more susceptible due to a depressed immune system. You could offer to get fully tested and show her a clean bill of health to allay her fears, then maybe she'll be more open about doing it sans rubber.