always a brother

i am always getting too close to the girls i like and it ALWAYS gets to the point where i am as close as a brother and it would be wierd to do anything.
im not a touchy feely guy, is that it? is it me or them. its gettin to the point where i think all my relationships will end like that. is there sumthin i need to change or wat

 

I don't know what are you doing with these girls that makes it seem that way. I mean are you in the room while they are changing or something? This is again with the boundries. I hate to sound like I'm so caught up on this because I'm really not, but people just seem to have a problem with it.

If you want to seem like boyfriend material, then don't always be there like a brother. I'm not saying to lie or play games by any means, just have your own life without these gals and when they call and realize that you aren't going to be there to go bra shopping with them, then they might see you as more than a brother.

 

Most LOVE having a Male Emotional Dildo.
If you enjoy that then keep on doing it.
If not-stop doing it.

 

Dude,

here's some advice about your chicks and how to prevent them from becoming "just friends".

Number One: DO NOT LISTEN TO HER PROBLEMS OR YOU WILL BECOME HER PROBLEM (and your problem if you want to lay her) Lots of guys think that by listening to her shit about her bf or other crap, she will drop her panties and fuck you...WRONG!!!

Number Two: TOUCH GIRLS ALL THE TIME!!! I'm not asking you molest /fondle them, but do it in a friendly way, like hug them, touch them when you speak to them, etc, etc. This will make you a "touchy" person and women like to touch and hold.

Number Three: TALK SEX!!! I'm not telling you to just go out and talk sex or swear every girl or the first girl you meet. Do not hold back on the sex/sexual talk. Lotsa guys think if they talk sex or swear in front girls, then the girl will not like them. again WRONG!!! ..In fact women like the sex talk.swearing, they love it!!! but dont over do or you may seem like a deprived little virgin boy. Start of subtly, you have to let them know in the beginning that you are a SEXUAL BEING!!!

thats all for now...

 

Take some time and read this!
http://www.laddertheory.com/

 

Wow...i'm one sentence into reading the post and i already realize how badly i fucked up a few months ago.

Oh, and that laddery theory was interesting and funny at the same time.

 

dude

but dont be sad about your "girl friends", either way its a win win situation.
one way you can bag her is, eliminate yourself from the situation...come back a totally changed person..that helps, or you could do this...

She your buddy now, isnt it? So use her to get other girls. Touch her, hold her in public, make her laugh in public, take her to the mall, movies, or were lotsa girls hangout...

you need her to get other girls interested in you. Girls will find you more attractive if you're with another girl for two reasons: 1) you have something of value to offer or that girl you with will not be with you, and 2) women subconsiously want something they cant have, like someone elses bf...thats why you get more attention when you got a gf/married than when you are single, cos if you're single then women think you a loser...

Also these are important for future girls you're interested in:
1) do not do anything for her, i mean asskissing, doing homework, presents, submitting to her demands, etc, etc, thats when she lose all sexual interest in you.
2) do not call her, make her call you, if you have to call her, make it short and sweet, not more than 2 minutes.
3) if you're going to the mall/movies/whatever do not pay for her, make her pay for herself, only if she giving you something, then you reward her, sex first then presents, if the other way around she will think why sleep with this doof when he already spoiling me...makes sense???

btw the ladder theory is true, women are gold-diggers, thats why you need to always "appear" rich, even if you not. Make yourself look rich...by the clothes you wear, expensive perfume, or car you drive, and the places you hang out...

think about it...

 

I may be the only one who feels this way..maybe its my age...but I would be VERRY drawn to a male who hung in there with me long enough to become my brother....stay sweet, the right girl will love you for your patience, and you will get what you need without games !!!!

 

I think the above advise is worthless. Below are the translations of what I meant every time I used the "you're like a brother" line.

"You're like a brother to me." = "I like you a lot as a friend, but I am not in the least bit physically attracted to you."

OR

"You're like a brother to me." = "I have a great time partying with you, but you drink and/or smoke pot and/or do other drugs far too much for me to want to date you."
OR "You have a reputation and I don't want an STD."

As you can see, whether or not he listened to my problems would not have changed my opinion. Calling me less often would not have improved his chances. Talking about sex would not have made a difference.

Nothing short of either plastic surgery or a major lifestyle change would have improved the guys' chances. So don't waste your time playing stupid mind games.

 

sorry...just trying to help.

 

Its kinda odd a thread like this popped up right when i was thinking of writing one on the same topic. Like i said before, in the 2nd half of the last school year i got really close to this girl only to ask her out and have her say something along the lines of "i like you too much as a friend to go out with you." won't make that mistake again

 

Umm... I hope that's not in response to me saying most of the advice above was shit... Yours was the only advice that wasn't shit!

My fiance was one of those who stuck in there, listened to my troubles, called me as much as I called him, etc. -- basically became my best friend, closer than any of my other friends. Then we started dating.

Exact same behavior that these idiots above are saying is how you get to the "like a brother" category.

The point is, the behavior they're advising against is how you form a good, solid, healthy relationship. Whether that becomes a close friendship or more generally has no association with the stupid comments above, and the "like a brother" line is equivalent to "it's not you, it's me" or some other "nice" letdown.

It doesn't mean that you got too close or that you were too nice. It means she wouldn't date you regardless, but now that you're friends she doesn't want to be a bitch and tell you you're ugly.

 

That translates to "I like you a lot as a friend, but you have some habits that would cause me to want to kill you if I tried to date you."

So if you were just looking for a quick one-night-stand, yeah, getting close killed your chances.

If you were looking to actually date someone, getting to be friends first saved you from being called names and told to fuck off (after you annoyed the crap out of her on your second date).

 

no offence but...

that is just a way a girl says she is not interested, its not that she "likes" you too much as a friend, it just means she is looking for a way of making an escuse to not be with you

 

listen here guys

I've been down that road before, a long time ago...doing everything i possibly could to get this one girl i loved with all my heart each time i asked her out, she replied..."i'm not attracted to you like that"...or some other bs...

the advice i give you is so u DO NOT end up in a LJBF(lets just be friends) situation again...its to prevent you from making yourself an ass...

also its important to realise: people make themselves fall in-love with other people, its not the other person...you actually "hypnotise" yourself...like u see this nice girl, u go home and imagine doing everything and spending all time with her, u imagine how nice your'l look together, eventually u cant stop thinking about her...then u realise u in love with her, she doesnt know it or dont feel the same way...wtf are u gonna do???

 

To the OP...
Do yourself a favor and read http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=192147 before listening to anything this sleezebag (DrHoffman) suggests.

Cutting off being friends with girls, for the fear that you may end up in the lets-just-be-friends category will cut you off from any chance at a healthy relationship.

Unless you're looking to be an asshole who just uses women, then moves on to a new one as soon as you're bored...

 

Bravo Dawn Sky !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

thanks dawn, i love u too baby, i'm just telling the guy what to do so he dont end up in the same situation again...


dont worry be happy

 

Ditto this. You can view any of his threads to see Dr.Hoffman isnt the type of guy you want to be taking advice from. (That is... if his threads are still there. He has deleted one already.)

 

I don't think its a case of you getting too close. It sounds like these girls are not sexually attracted to you in the first place. My advice is to cast a wide net. Eventually you will find someone that will fuck you.