Afraid of losing people close to me

The people that I surround myself with are my support system. I've been questioning my sexuality for five years. If I come out, I'm afraid my support system will disown me. I don't have anyone else to look to. I've had relationships in the past, but they've all been with the opposite sex. I've been hit on by many guys in my life, and I'm wondering what it is about me that attracts guys. Even been asked to do gay porn. So, what I've decided to do, is talk to a few people, and see what's going on. I live in Sacramento and want to meet up with a person or two, male or female, and just have drinks, and see what the night brings. What I mean is, we meet up, (after establishing trust), go to a gay bar, and sit around and see who comes up to us. I just told my friend what I'm feeling, and she is the first person in my life that I've ever said these things to. She doesn't know what to do, but she's there for me. So, hope to meet some friends, whether you're gay, straight, bi, male, female. :devil:

 

The ones that count remain.

The ones that don't remain don't count.

 

I understand. No one in my family knows I am bi. My wife knows, and only the select few I've been with. I don't believe I have to tell anyone. Why would I? What I do behind closed doors is no one's business but my own. Now if you were in a serious relationship, that may be a different story, but until then, just enjoy life and don't worry about labels.

 

I agree with both of them. Real friends will accept you whoever you are. Those who cannot accept you are not real so forget them. Try to be happy with a few but real friends. If they don't need you then you don't need them either. Be confident with yourself and try to be independent somehow.

 

No one likes to lose their support system. You are no exception.

Consider the nature of the relationships you maintain within this support system. Are your relationships symmetrical? Are you giving as much as you taking? Or are you on the receiving side of the equation?

Most people with whom you maintain symmetrical relationships will view your sexuality as an entirely private business. They won't disown you, simply because they, too, need the support. If they choose to disown you, they are both homophobic, AND irrational to a dangerous degree. Why would you want to have radicals as your supporters?

On the other hand, if you are on the receiving end of the equation, consider the fact that your happiness and fulfillment always come at a price, too. If you lose them, you are winning something else that may be more valuable than anything else.

I would never allow my support system to dictate my way of life.

SC