Afraid and Ashamed (PE Problem)

Discussion in 'Sexual Health' started by Need_Her, Sep 19, 2013.

  1. Need_Her

    Need_Her Guest

    So I've been dating this amazing woman for a month now. I'm 20 and she's 22. I've always been the more romantic type of guy and wanted to save myself for someone special, but that all ended a few months ago. I had two sexual encounters with a girl I'm not particularly fond of in any way and really didn't like it. Being a virgin and a newcomer, I only lasted a few minutes with her.

    A while later, I met my current girlfriend and things have been amazing so far until we decided to try making love. She's had 3 sexual partners before me, so she knows what she's doing. I've only had sex twice before this, so I'm nervous as hell, not to mention I had my doubts about whether or not we were ready to do this. But I pushed past my doubts and tried to ignore my insecurities and I'm really wishing I had listened to myself.

    I put on the protection and my erection and sex drive were both fine. I then began to push inside her. Everything was fine and dandy. I push a bit further and I'm hit with the ever-so-shameful premature ejaculation phenomenon. Needless to say, I was completely embarassed by what had happened and I've felt like way less of a man ever since.

    Now I'm afraid to even try it in fear of it happening again. I thought about just giving up on sex all together. If anything, I may try desensitizing spray next time or something. Unfortunately, she bluntly told me about how good the sex was with her exes sometimes, which just made me feel like a pile of insecure shit. I just want to be good for her. Is there anything I can do about this? I just want to be good for her in bed. I feel like I've lost what masculinity I had left.
     
  2. sunshine186

    sunshine186 midnight toker

    jack off before she comes over
    or tell her why. girls know that problem
    if she makes fun of you, maybe you shouldn't be fucking her
     
  3. Need_Her

    Need_Her Guest

    She's very supportive and understanding. I'll definitely try jacking off beforehand next time lol
     
  4. calgirl

    calgirl Senior Member

    Aw i think its hot when guys come fast. Rest and get ready for another round. Or eat and finger her til she cums. Its all good....no rules. Youre young and theres lots to enjoy.
     
  5. ryan!

    ryan! Member

    Yes always speak your mind and share your feelings with her, if she is supportive and likes you enough you can try new things which can be even more fun.

    Without focusing on the negative, why did she say how good sex was with her exes, was it an improve or else comment, trying to make you feel inferior, or just a reactive passing type of comment.

    Ultimately just be aware of how she feels about you and how you feel about her to keep the pleasures of life exciting, while being engulfed by the magic of love and lust.

    Life is full of the unexpected, a single fail can be due to so many factors and is not a life time sentence - keep on going man and good luck.
     
  6. pensfan13

    pensfan13 Senior Member

    baseball players get three strikes, so should you, if you cant last at least 15 minutes after the first time go at it again when you are ready. if you cum early again, rap that bad boy up one more time and give her everything you got. if you strike out on the third try all you have to do is wait for the next inning. (i guarantee before the 9th inning you will hit a homerun)
     
  7. Need_Her

    Need_Her Guest

    I really have no idea why she told me that shit. The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get.

    Anyway, I knew how she felt about me. Before we attempted it, she told me it doesn't matter and I told her that it's just me and her being one. Upfront, I wasn't nervous. I just wanted to make love to this amazing woman I've fallen quickly for, but when the time came, I failed. Guess I'll just have to keep trying.
     
  8. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

    why didn't you just say

    ''this is embarrassing....please sweetheart......could you give me 15 minutes to go quickly shower so I can come back and really show you how I feel about you''

    and then add

    ''maybe you can join me''



    also dude...if you are using condoms you can get the desensitizer ones
     
  9. eggsprog

    eggsprog anti gang marriage HipForums Supporter

    if it happens again just go down on her until you're ready for round two. as long as she is understanding, you'll be fine. lots of guys cum really quickly their first few times, vaginas feel awesome.
     
  10. Need_Her

    Need_Her Guest

    Well we didn't exactly have time to try again. She took a shower while I went and bought condoms, I took a shower when I got back, and we did some foreplay for a decent bit of time. I'm currently living with my mother and she gets off work at 7 and I think we attempted it around 6:40 something. Kinda sucks trying to have a sex life while living with a parent lol
     
  11. Ice_Cool

    Ice_Cool Member

    Dude, this is normal and easy to fix. You can practice how to control at your own by jerking your self and stopping when close then resuming again.

    You can practice it with her either in real sex or by asking her to musterbate for you.

    At last but not the least - this is the best way to do it: find a good masseuse (who does offer that service) and ask her to give you a full body massage followed by prostate and penis massage. She will musterbate for you and massage your penis sensualy, pause when about to ejaculate, hold back then do again. This is very great way to practice.

    ***But note that this is NOT sex, she will jerk you over with her hands, feet or perhaps rub your penis with her legs or body but no intercourse or blowjob, just penis massage. (Please act safe with strangers, I only allow her to hand and feet and other normal body skin to touch my penis, I NEVER do body to body massage as there is a slight risk of fluid exchange from her vagina if it contacts your penis head). Becareful not to contact you penis with her pussy, even the outside of it.
     
  12. nuke360

    nuke360 Guest

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Premature ejaculation can actually be quite a common problem among men, but there are things you can do to help with your sex life. Don't give up! Speak with a medical professional who is knowledgeable about treatment options that you may have. There are a lot of techniques that you can do to prevent or delay ejaculation, but if you have already tried these, you may want a second opinion. I hope this gives you some insight and help on the issue.
     
  13. Stanjr722

    Stanjr722 Member

    I've almost always had the opposite issue . Takes forever to shoot. Dude , You need to relax and quit thinking so emotionally about her. I bet that's what's screwing you up. You are thinking way to much about your fears and insecurities .quit thinking! You should be having fun and that's it. I wouldn't master-bate right before you see her ,but maybe a couple hours before or you could have an even worse issue. There are Plenty of beautiful women in the world that wouldn't manipulate you or make you feel like shit. If i was you ,I'd give her one incredible night just to prove a point and then send her packing.
     
  14. Cutted

    Cutted Cutted

    Check out my thread on Premature Ejaculation in this forum, as 44,000 others have done. It should help you, or PM me directly.
     

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