Affection

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Sebbi, Jan 8, 2005.

  1. Sebbi

    Sebbi Senior Member

    Ok, this is hard.

    I have really fallen for this girl, as in, I hoped it was a passing thing (because that is easy to deal with) and it's not.

    Anyway I asked her what her feelings for me where and she said that I she really likes me but wants some time to sort out her head (came out of a big relationship).

    Anyway, I don't know what to do with the affection I want to transmit. I know not to suppress it, that I should allow it to exist and to do what it does, but the problem is when it wants to come out, I just paralyse.

    I really couldn't deal with it if I scared her off, I really couldn't, but you wouldn't believe how much I need a cuddle.

    Sebbi
     
  2. My answer to your dilema, is to give her time to deal with the occurance of her last relationship not working out, by being there for her as a friend, when she seems more apt to dating, express your emotions to her. If you can't wait, I say follow your heart and if it fails atleast you can say you tried.
     
  3. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    well she likes you so that is good! now you want to express your affection to her by cuddling, this isn't likely to scare her away if anything it might be just what she needs. whispering winds is right though give her time to sort out her head so basically just dont push her into any commitment. and if you are SO scared of scaring her away then dont advance on her (sexualy) past cuddling.

    sebbi why do you paralyze when you feel the urge to express this affection? is it because you are inexperianced (with girls) and not sure how to go about expressing this affection? or is there another reason why you are uncomfortable around her?
     
  4. Sebbi

    Sebbi Senior Member

    That's a tricky question.

    It's not that I'm inexperienced as such. I feel like it's all new to me but I'm not inexperienced.

    I do however feel a bit (very) unsure how to express it. I don't really feel like I have the right to express it. I feel like I would be disrespecting the fact she wants to sort out her head.

    One of her friends was talking to me about this on Friday and she told me that the girl in question doesn't really know how to react to that sort of thing.

    I really wouldn't like to be in the position of sorting my head out when someone who I like but am unsure about wants a cuddle. I think that would confuse the hell out of me.

    I really don't quite know what it is to be fair, but that's my best shot.

    BLessings

    Sebbi
     
  5. _see_

    _see_ Member

    woah man listen...ive been in this sitch b4.....do not i repeat DO NOT come on 2 strong or start tlkin bout ya feelins....ya have already stated how u feel n she told u how she feels....so now its up 2 her 2 cum 2 u...its a BIG MISTAKE 2 jump in 2 quick in2 nefin unless the other person has the same feelins as u...all u can do now is w8 ad she is gonna respect u so much more 4 respectin her feelins...keep her as a gd m8 and what happens happens.....she might decide in a bit of time 2 cum 2 u wen u least expect it....4 now friends is gd enuff....ud b surprised how she might react in a lil while once shes over her past experiences....it feels crappy w8in...but ya a nice guy n u can c where shes cumin 4rm so just b urself!!!
    xxx
     
  6. Professor Jumbo

    Professor Jumbo Mr. Smarty Pants

    If you find that you are going alittle nuts with having to keep your your feeling for her to yourself you could always tell her how you feel instead of either paralyzing or coming on too strong. Just make sure you do it in a very matter-of-fact, logical, non-touchyfeely kind of way so that you do not freak her out. From what you have described combined with the fact that women have a sixth sense about these sorts of things it might be a good bet to assume that she can tell to some extent how you feel towards her in terms of needing a cuddle. Telling her very preciesly how you feel will probably make things less confusing for her.
     
  7. Carlfloydfan

    Carlfloydfan Travel lover

    This sounds very much like a situation I was in very recently. Seriously, just take things slow and chill out a lot and watch movies and stuff. Get to know the girl, she will appreciate it.

    Also, put yourself in situations that would make cuddling a nessecity, like being in the freezing cold. You know, just touch her subtly, like massages if she says she is stressed. Go to a concert or somehwere loud where close contact will be required, than it won't be as weird. If she responds well, go from there when you are alone. But take it from me, don't push things. She likes you man so don't worry about it. All and all, respect her and match her for what she says as far as intesnity, don't say anything to strong if she hasn't said anything to strong yet, yea know?
     
  8. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    Don't suppress your affection, channel it. Hugs and cuddles can't hurt, but leave it at that for now. Patience is a virtue and when it comes to love, it's a necessity; haste really does make waste. Give her all the time she needs to get over her previous relationship and to warm up to you.

    Good luck,
    Skeeter
     

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