i think im in love with this one guy i know. ive liked him since 6th grade, im now going into 10th next year. we went out for a bit, but he broke it off because im moving at the end of the summer and he didn't want me or him to get hurt. he's not into the long distance thing because the last time he tried it, his girlfriend cheated on him with a girl. he says he's not ready to try the long distance thing again. i really really want to try it, because i love him, but i don't really want to tell him that. my best friend tells me i should tell him, but i don't want to ruin our friendship by telling him this. any advice on the subject from people who have been through anything like this? it would be much appreciated...
well honey, i havent been in quite that situation, but i think you should hold off on telling him. i know that probably everything inside of you just wants to shout it out to him because you feel that strongly about him, but youre right. he might not take it in a positive way. he might even get scared by it. boys that age really arent as mature as girls. if you were to tell him you love him, he might not take it seriously. im saying this as a generalization of boys that age...so if you feel differently about it, lemme know. but spend some time with him before you have to leave. try and loosen him up a little and try to figure out how he really feels about you. only if you believe that the time is right and that he would reciprocate should you tell him you love him. otherwise, i wouldnt want you to hurt yourself, more than anyone, by telling him that you love him when he may not feel the same way or might feel the same way but just doesnt want to tell you. i hope this helps.
unfortunately i would have to agree. with basically everything invisgirl said. Except for the part about boys being less mature than girls at that age LOL. (we both have out ups and downs dont we lol). Anyways....i understand that you really want/need to tell him you love him, but i think he either a.)would be scared and run away from you or b.) not take you seriously. I also agree with trying to get some info out of him. Theres nothing wrong with asking him "so where will our relationship stand once i move....what are your thoughts? Would you maybe want to try a long distance rel. or not a chance? etc....." things like that. There are many people your age who have to move in the middle of highschool or something similar....theres no question it can be hard, especially leaving someone you care about behind. But i think you are moving at a better time than say....a year or two from now. Then it would much more difficult. At 14, you still have all your highscool years infront of you with the same people. And there will be a lot of people in your boat, coming into a highscool not knowing many people. But it also depends on where your moving to. Are you just an hr, few hour drive? Or are you miles and miles away. I am assuming its the ladder since you are reffering to a "long distance" but i dunno, maybe it isnt so far away im not sure. Anyways, I would probably not tell him you love him, you can tell him your falling "in" love with him, i think that is a lot better. Or that you are "falling" for him. That way he knows that with more time you two would be "in love", but that it isnt to the point where if you left it will hurt too bad. Hope this helps, sorry for my jumbled garbage i call english
i live in pennsylvania...im overseas doing an internship for the summer but i live in PA...is that where you live by chance?
I'm going to go against the grain here and put a vote in for telling him. Yes, everybody else's advice is more sensible, logical, reasonable...and if that's what'll make you happy in the end, do it. Listen to the practical advice if it's what you need. But sometimes, the heart just knows. I know that's corny, and perhaps I'm just a dumb teenager, but as one who's been in a solid relationship for almost a year where it only gets better every day, I know the feeling: I wanted to tell him. I was unsure. I finally blurted it out, and in the end, it was worth it. It killed me not letting him know, so that when I finally did let it out, it was mind-bogglingly good, even though he didn't reciprocate right away - which is okay...he did eventually, and even if he hadn't I know that I was better for letting it out. He might not reciprocate it, but that's not a given. What if he does? Then you just got into something worth it. True love is always worth a risk. My only concern is whether you ACTUALLY love him or not. When you say that you "love him," do you mean that you care deeply for him, are consistently happier when you're around him or thinking about him, willing to be committed to him, trusting and honest and open with him, considerate to his emotions...? Or do you just think he's cute and you've been clinging to the idea of him since 6th grade, and you kind of like the idea of going to prom with someone like him? There's a world of difference. If it's the former, then I'd tell him for no other reason than true love deserves to be shouted to high heavens, and it pains the soul terribly not to tell.
OMFG JUST TELL HIM!!!!!!!! john told me he loved me and look at us omfg i love him i never want to break up with him and not going to...were gunna do the long distance thing...AHAHAH!!!!!! JUST TELL HIM U POOPIE!!!!!!!
blackheartbitch...no matter how much you love your boyfriend...dont be so over-ecstatic. trust me honey, eventually youll find a guy ten times better than ''john'' and you will eventually break up with him. barely anyone stays together that long. just keep it realistic, i wouldnt want you to get hurt later on. metalchik...haha ok. lol its sooo weird you look exactly like her!! =) anyway, no problem. if you have any other questions for me just PM me or post on here. =)
cool thanx, hey amber, im not trying to be mean or anything (causse i love u dont 4get) but didn't you and john just break up? or are you back together cuz now i confused?
I know this couple who first got together when they were around 14, 15 years old, and they stayed together for ten years before finally getting married. They've been married four years now. Sometimes these things do happen. You're right though: barely anyone stays together that long.
Well, based on your story, I as a psychic psychologist with a PhD in psychology and the mental health of earth-worms, would recommend giving him a blowjob, then a good spanking and then killing his parents. I do believe that will bring sunshine into your lives. Yes...
The answer to your question. Should you or shouldn't you tell him. If he truly is your friend, telling him won't change anything between the two of you as far as your friendship goes. You two are still young. If he doesn't want a long distance relationship, trust that and respect that..its also possible that he knows his feelings for you aren't that strong and therefor is trying his best to let you know in the easiest way he possibly can without hurting you. If you truly love him the way you say you do, your feelings for him won't matter. The only thing you should be concerned about is how he feels and making him happy. There is no room for selfishness between two people. If you are more concerned about your feelings then tell him how you feel. Don't expect the same in return, and let him know that you will be there if he ever changes his mind and that you just want him to be happy, but you felt he should know. Good luck to you.
