Advice/Thoughts on Trophy bfs/gfs

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by .Hannah., Apr 3, 2007.

  1. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    Hey you lovely folks of Hip,

    I've got a question here, or rather a situation that just came up. It's not very major but it did get me wondering.

    What do you think of the whole trophy idea? Good if mutual? All round superficial and silly?

    Would a person who's against it be considered insecure of their looks?

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    if everyone involved knows whats going on and is ok with it, i see no problems personally
     
  3. Marija

    Marija Senior Member

    question:
    what is trophy?
     
  4. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    Trophy meaning someone you don't mind parading around with and treating as a "trophy". Ie. the acquirement of a partner as a trophy meaning having them to brag about to your friends etc. in the more worse-sounding case scenario.

    I'm involved with a guy right now who's kind of all about the sex and looks - not to say that we don't have a lot of tenderness and deep discussions about other topics and that we don't share other large parts of our lives together. We do. I guess it's flattering that I'm with him anyway but he also exhibited this desire today "pretend" or joke around that he was with a gal friend of his (even though we're dating). I was a bit surprised and hurt. Anyway, he realized how silly it all was and apologized profusely for thinking up something so insensitive. He's also showed me off in the same way but it got a little uncomfortable when he started showing his buddies at work my picture which he keeps with him. I guess it's normal because people carry pictures of their kids and significant others around also and show them to people who are friends or interested. I'm different from him though. I never carry pictures with me and hardly have photographs in my home, and I'm a very private person. ...ok, I won't lie, sometimes I feel like I'm on cloud nine and I just want to tell everyone how happy we are together. But I end up smiling to myself and it's enough. I know he genuinely cares about me or us, only sometimes I kind of wonder, "huh?"

    I was just wondering - is it natural for guys to want to show off their girlfriends? is it a testosterone thing? Or a human thing? Just throwing the question out there.
     
  5. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    what yorue describing doesn tsound lik e a trophy girl situation to me, just like hes really proud/happy to be dating you. a trophy wife is someone who looks good and you use to show off for posterity but havent got a really deep connection with... it sounds like your relationship is a lot more meaningful and like youre just weirding yourself out over nothing hannah
     
  6. mrpwonder

    mrpwonder Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    It depends on the motive. If someone dates a trophy so that others envy them then its all worng. The fact that soneone even consider that they are in and want a trophy relationship bothers me.
     
  7. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

    I've had a few relationships where I was the 'trophy girlfriend'. Several of them evolved into deep and meaningful relationships and others I just took as they were; fun, nice vacations, good company and in some cases incredible sex for both of us. I didn't feel demeaned in anyway.
    I prefer older men so of course I am going to get in some situations where I would be considered a 'trophy girfriend' but I am aware of the situation and don't have sex or get emotionaly invested until i know there is something on a deeper level and I am respected.
    In saying that I know boys will be boys no matter how old they get and I know what they like and have no problem fulfilling every whim and desire of theirs as long as I am kept happy. I'll make sure not to gain any weight and look hot when we go out, especially if it's with your friends but you better make sure we can have a few blockbuster nights with take-out, deep conversation and board games.
    I do not feel degraded having to look a certain way for certain guys because they have to provide for me in a certain way and keep me entertained in order to keep me. It's a two-way street. You want a trophy girlfriend then spoil the crap outta me and I will make all of your friends jealous as hell and your momma fall in love with me.
     

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