Advanced Child

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by USNavyDeadHead, Jan 3, 2005.

  1. When I took my 3 year old in for his checkup the Doc told me that he is very advanced in his vocabulary and memory. He then tells me that when he is 4 I should consider getting him tested to see if he may be an "Advanced" child. On one hand I would like have him tested because I would like him to have every chance possible to be successful. On the other hand I am afraid of him being one of those smart kids that thinks he's different from everyone else and I would like him to have as normal a childhood as possible. I also do not want to put any extra pressure on the boy. Anyone with any thoughts?
  2. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    My youngest is considered very gifted. She started speaking at about 6 months, could say sentences at 12 months, knew all the letters, and what sounds they made at 22 months, and started to read in her third year. At just turned five, she reads at a 2nd or 3rd grade level, and her vocab is scary! She is also very good with math and logic.

    I think if you can afford it, private testing is a good idea. It won't prevent your child from having a "normal childhood" but it will help you define what your child is capable of, if you decide to use a regular school. In our area, the "gifted program" is a joke. It is a reward for the mother's who bring cookies to the Teacher's Meetings. Smart kids are skipped over, and kids who may be nice kids, but are not intellectually gifted are given "enrichment." Which, in our school consists of playing video games and math games one day a week after school.

    It is good to know what your child is capable of, so the child's needs can be met. You can do a LOT at home (more than they will do in the schools) and keeping up with what your child is interested in, and being able to challenge him is good.

    I was a gifted kid, who was in a school who just didn't have any program. I spent most of my grade school years reading on my own, in the hall, reading books the other kids wouldn;t get to for 4 or 5 years, and "tutoring" the primary kids. I burnt out by 8th grade, and didn't give a shit about my schooling again until college. This is VERY commmon among gifted kids who don't get the stimulation and challenges they need to stay interested.

    Have the child tested, but that is only the begining. ALL children benefit from parents who get involved and help challenge the child. The best thing you can do now is to provide LOTS of books and maps and art supplies for your son. Spend time with workbooks for gifted kids, if your son enjoys them (Sage goes nuts over workbooks, she just loves doing them with me) and let him have a lot of books, which you can read to him now, and he can read to you later. Verbal kids LOVE to talk, so let him tell stories, and you write them down for him (the computer is great for this) I also like the "Jump Start" series for computers. Sage really loves this. Play doh and crayons are also the BEST things for all kids.

    Good luck.
  3. Thanks a lot. I was hoping someone would have some valuable input. You have helped tremendously.
  4. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

    A lot more kids are probably just as gifted but when they get to the doc they are shy.
    See where your son flourishes and go with it. You dont want to not challenge him but you dont want to push him to hard. YOU know what he is capable of on an natural level because you interact with him. Go from there.
  5. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

  6. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

    Totally agree with Maggie and Apple's advice. :)

    I'm not a great believer in offical test and such. Children aren't trains, they don't all run to a set development schedule.

    I read a lot as a kid (still do) at one point my reading age was double my actual age, and perhaps as a result had an extensive vocabulary. That just what I excel at. Incidentally I'm crap with numbers and computers. Maybe there are specific types of gifted.

    My parents have always been great about helping my brother and I to learn. Schools can only do so much and nothing can beat the personal loving touch of learning from a parent.
  7. radmama

    radmama Member

    I believe that many children born to concious parents are or could be considered advanced. People say this of my 5 year old all the time. He has a deep respect for mama earth and people, and is full of compassion and wisdom already.

    I am not a big believer in schooling children. I believe that children, if we listen will guide us in letting us know what they need.
  8. mtnhighgirl

    mtnhighgirl Member

    As an infant and toddler my daughter tested well above average in vocab and fine motor skills. She was reading by age three (thanks to leap frog phonics) and when she entered kindergarten she was ahead of her class. Half way through kindergarten she was bumped up to grade one. At the end of the school year, she was tested and went on to grade 2. She did very well acedemically in her second school year, but she had problems adjusting socially as she was in a grade 2/3 split class with kids bigger and older than her, and her teachers were not prepared to deal with a child whose social development was lower that their intellectual development. I tried to work things out with her teachers and principal but I had very little luck. We pulled her out of the public school system that May and began to homeschool her. She will be 9 years old in February and is technically in grade 4. Her reading and writing skills are at a grade 8/9 level, her spelling and math are at a grade 5 level. She writes short stories and poems and songs, and loves to draw and paint. We have been teaching her French and Spanish for 2 years now and she is almost at a grade 8 level in these subjects. I don't push or pressure her, she just loves to learn! I am thankful that we were aware of her capabilities so we were able to challenge her and keep her interested in her studies. Otherwise she could have ended up like me; bored and burnt out by grade 9, failing grade 10 and dropping out. I eventually found a program that allowed me to work at my own pace and I completed grade 10, 11 and 12 in less than 24 months with a B average. It is very important to know your child's abilities and to challenge their minds. You don't want them to fall through the cracks of the system like I did.
  9. Sarah Lee

    Sarah Lee Member

    My daughter is one of those gifted children. We made the choice to let her school with the mainstream, what a mistake. She is so bored with the work and annoyed with her classmates. She doesnt fit in with the other kids with the double whammy of being a Deadhead and more advanced mentally. Problem is it is hard to go back and put her where she belongs because of years of being held back. She has devoloped bad study and homework habits and poor social skills. go ahead and explore all options for your child, it may be worth it.
  10. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

    as a former "gifted child," my persepctive is that is does make you different. you can't help raising expectations beyond what a child is ready to give. i suffered severe burnout from the plans and ideas my parents had for me. i wasn't shoved into programs and such, but instead of getting to be the little girl who got dolls and such, my family was giving me books to read them when i was 2 1/2, and i was a party favor. you might not be that bad, but i say screw the testing. if you're paying attention, you'll be able to see quite clearly what your child is capable of, and you won't have someone else's definitions coloring you view of who your child is, and what your child is emotionally prepared to give.
  11. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

    and, btw, for years i was incapbable of doing what i WANTED to do because of my family's expectations for someone of my "gifts." i like creative things, things that make people happy. they wanted me to be a doctor or lawyer or some shit like that. i wanna have a beauty salon. there isn't anything that i can do that will make my parents proud of me, because they were told i was so GIFTED. it's a load of crap. all kids are gifted in some manner. school isn't the ony place where they can get an education.
  12. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

    School isnt the only place they can use their gifts eather
  13. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Yes, this is a problem, especially in regular schools. A child who reads or does math as a 9 year old, and is only 5 may well only ACT like a 5 year old a lot of the time. Some teachers expect gifted kids to be "mature" in all aspects and this doesn't usually happen (as many teachers have misconceptions about "gifted children" in the first place.) Sage can read years ahead, but socially, is a VERY young 5. That is why she is in a small, private Nursery School, and didn't start Kindergarden last year, at not even 4, as, acedemically, she could have. She really doesn't do much, acedemically, at Nursery School, but she gets to be around other kids her age, so it serves it's purpose well.

    As for regular school, we haven't made a decision yet. Bear (my dh) is really against home schooling (bad experience with some freinds) but I don't know if our District could serve her well enough. I'll also have two kids in college, and one in HS, when she will be in First Grade, so our options on Private Schools will be limited, finacially.

    There's a lot to think about.
  14. Leki

    Leki Member

    As a gifted person, let me tell you it SUCKS to be labled as a 'gifted child' when all you want is to be normal. I hate it when my parents say I should have gotten better grades because I was gifted. :$

    For instance, in 9th grade, I failed my mid term algebra exam. My parents freaked out. I was gifted I was supposed to be the smart one. Sure I'm smart, I have the ability to learn more. I just dont get algebra.

    I love to read. I always have, and I have always had an advanced vocabulary. But math, It just doesnt click.

    Dont treat him any differently than another kid or expect more from him. You must remember that some people spend vast amounts of energy just to be 'normal'.

    Hope this helps.
  15. feministhippy

    feministhippy Member

    I dunno, I grew up having a relatively high IQ, and I never felt like I stood out from it that much. I actually thought that I was stupid until I got tested. Turned out, I just learned a different way then they were teaching me at school. I love the way teachers make you feel bad about yourself because you don't learn exactly the same way as the rest of the class. The way they taught us wasn't terribly popular, anyway. Statistically, only 50% of the students can learn well using the method the New York State Regents Program requires. Why require a method that only half the class can succeed with? Anyway, I'm off that.

    The fact is, if you're child is "advanced", it's good if you know. That way, you can help your child reach his potential.
  16. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

    Yeah School systems are NOT set up for the actual learning needs of kids. Why nobody is intrested more in this I'm not sure. Considering how many kids are being effected by this people should be more intrested.
  17. I'm studying to be a teacher and I know that a lot of the people I have studied with are interested, as the reading we are given is interested, that is what it is about, what the different ways that people learn by....what is it that you have that we aren't being given in these courses?

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