Adult relationships are kind of scary. Kind of a rant.

I moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and things have been really wonderful so far. We've bonded, learned more about each other and we got into a nice routine. We're working out together, going to school and all these great things that I should be enjoying. But I'm ALWAYS worrying about things.

But I've been feeling so paranoid lately that he's going to get sick of me or he'll end of cheating on me or something. I know it's silly because he'd never do that to me. It's just that I moved in on bad terms. My mother kicked me out after torturing me for a long while leaving me taking care of my nephew 90 percent of the time while she got drunk and harassed me and my sister ran off to get high all the time. I really have no one else and if he and I broke up, I'd have nowhere to go. It just really scares me to suddenly have no one, especially family-wise to back me up.

I didn't do much on my own before and now I am becoming a whole other person and it's weird. No one will yell at me if I don't do my laundry, or skip a work out, or don't go to class. I clean without being prompted and I enjoy it. There's so much to do that I always wonder how everything will work out, and he's just so confident of it all being okay. I just wish I could stop worrying so much.

 

it's really great living with the bf, right?
things will work out, don't worry, you said yourself that things have been wonderful. just enjoy the good time
all the best

 

I get into those panicky "omgwtf am I gonna do" moods every so often. lol Thanks for the kind words

 

we told you long ago it would be better when you move out, much change will come.
grab hold your independence and roar..

 

the great thing about being in an adult relationship is you have full responsibility for your half and only your half.

 

if you ever do break up, at least you can find a job as a maid.

 

Well, what you dont see coming is that its more likely you'll get sick of him

Theres no such thing as adult relationships anyway, no one really ever grows up. They just try act more mature to hide the fact they are bored and dont know what else to do.

Oh, and BTW, you are pretty much guaranteed to turn into your mother no matter what you do, so you might as well embrace it.

VG, your friendly neighbourhood Positivity coach

 

Try not to worry. I tend to in my relationship and it only makes things worse. Be grateful and have no expectations but most of all, something that I need to refind, is to be confident who you are (which you might be since I don't know you. :sunny

 

You are right. I'm kind of flattered you remember reading about my issues :2thumbsup:

I agree. It's definitely messier when you're younger and there's so much shit in the way of the relationship. This way it's just two people together making it work.

 

If you worry enough your worries will become reality. You are negativley influencing things.

Wether you are in a relationship or not you should always be able to stand on your own two feet. Dependance will break you one way or the other.

What Orison said.

 

I am always curious as why people feel unsure when they are alone! I have never been the one needing to lean on someone for support, I've always been the support beam. Being alone means I am invincible up to my own point of falling. I wont have to worry about anyone else except myself, and ill always be okay :daisy:


And also, thr situation you described seems like you were already where you feared: no family to lean on for support and no where else to go. You now have begun creating a family with your sweet sounding boyfriend! You had nowhere to go, and now you found somewhere else. Different frame of mind

 

Full agreement. Ever heard of the law of attraction? Positive thoughts lead to a positive lifestyle, vice versa.


And like I said, I'm more comfortable worrying about only myself because I know me!

 

Not everyone is as strong and independent as you, babyjay. I don't rely on him for everything but I can't help but feel a little lost going from having a family (albeit dysfunctional) to being alone with him when we had been in a long distance relationship before. It could have been less of a shock if I had been able to choose when I wanted it to happen and if we had been gradually seeing each other more leading up to the move-in. But I'm getting more accustomed to it.

He's a wonderful guy and I'm lucky. Everyone has their insecure moments.

 

yeah, i can see how being forced into a situation can make it feel different. and i suppose you're right, about not everyone being independent as me, but i find it hard to not be independent, so i can't really imagine being differently i guess O:

 

Yeah, I understand that! Thanks for the reassuring words though I try not to worry too much.

 

you really don't sound like you have much to worry about though! in my perspective, the family you did have wasn't too supportive anyway, and sort of left you hanging. and what you've mentioned about your boy sounds very good!

i've always felt that people are too oriented to the people they are blood relations with. O: i mean, animals don't always stay within their families, why should we be restrained to that as well? not saying you shouldn't be on good terms with family members

 

You know, that does make sense. It's good to be close with family, but lots of people have enriched lives with a family of their own choice. I should try and let it go, stop mourning the tight knit family I never had and focus on making that a reality with the people that do love and support me. You are a wise girlie! :2thumbsup:

 

thank you my dear, come join my family, i promise i will be loving and kind!


do you think that not having things in childhood, like that, causes you to balance yourself out by having it when you grow older? didn't have a momma growing up, so now i'm very momma like....?

 

Awesome! :daisy:

That could be. I know my mother was never really the nurturing kind, not one to call you sweetie or give you praise for anything. However, everyone who's ever known me very well says I'm nurturing. If you don't mind my asking, what happened to your mother?

 

oh, similar concept. she and my dad divorced when i was about 2, and she didn't give much of a rat's ass about me, would ask for me on holidays to show off her skinny little first born, ignore me the rest of the year. just not very nurturing at all, and i'm also quite a nurturing person. is this a subconscious balance?!