Adam & Eve - don't get me wrong here.

Don't get me wrong here.

I love it when humans make a movie of my story but I just wish that the actors who played Adam and Eve didn't have a navel. They were the first.

 

I knew that--I questioned the Jehovah's Witness elders about that when I was about fifteen, and they called me a troublemaker. I knew I was right! All their books show them with belly buttons, but I didn't see how they would have them, since they weren't born in the regular way.
Thanks for confirming that, God, old friend!

 

You are infinitely welcomed, Holy Diva.

There are other things that you should know.

Now is the time I choose to reveal them.

-When Charlton Heston wears a watch in the Ten Commandments - it's a mistake. If you look closely he has a timex. The timex company came to be in 1326.

-When you get your candy at mass and the priest says "eat, for this is my body", you should always ask which part it is.

-Jesus and his 12 friends did smoke pot. This is how he thought he was walking on water. That or the lake froze.

 

You can thank me for that.

 

holy shit LMAO,
balance has come to the force.

 

Fucking damnit... Now all we need is a Buddah and Allah... shit why did I give someone the idea

 

If we get a Buddha and Allah I will be upset if there isn't also a Conan the Barbarian and LizardAssasin to even the mix.

 

My children -

I love you even more than those midwestern farmers who use sheeps for sex.

BUT...

Be knoweth that I have no control over other beings who appear on this board. Ask the moderator to check my celestial ip.

I am one, I am all.

I am not Michael Bolton though. He really gets on my nerves at times.

I wonder why I made him - I think it's because he was tax deductible.

 

But I really wanted to chat with Conan the barbarian

 

If this can help - I've checked my crystal ball and I saw that Conan was in California...

 

No silly he's not a real person.

 

You kow I wish I had thought of the belly button thing to ask the elders I knew as a kid. I was also a trouble maker it seems! But I ran away from organized religion the second I got the chance YAY! Now I worship two gods of my own choosing. And I think God was refering to Arnold!

 

Yeah, I drove them nuts.
Another good one was when they said that in the Garden of Eden, the lions and tigers were vegetarians, and I asked them how come the big cats all have teeth designed for meat eating if that was true.
Those elders got to the point where they cringed as soon as they saw me coming!

 

But what about Steve? Did he have a navel as well?

 

Steve? Would thy child give me his full name or social insurance number - we have lots of files here.

 

Steve Schmuckatelli

442 31 6575

 

-GOD- please pick up a newspaper, get with thy times my lord. It is now a political correct society in which many view that the origins of human creation were not simply Adam & Eve, but also Adam & Steve.