Accepting compliments is hard.

I have the toughest time just saying thank you to compliments. My first instinct is always either to deflect it and act like it's not praiseworthy and the giver shouldn't have opened their mouth, or be over-the-top cocky about it and act like it's well known information and there was no need to say anything.

I feel so weird trying to split the difference. Being humble about it makes me feel awkward ... like I'm fishing for more reinforcement of the same type or something. Saying "thank you" makes me feel more arrogant than being over-the-top cocky and poking fun at it. As if I'm commending them for making an accurate statement.

How do you all take compliments?

 

I say thank you.

 

I tend to laugh awkwardly and try to change the subject. I'm quite uncomfortable with compliments too....

 

i use joking to say thanks in most cases.....

my usual routine is to get them to repeat the compliment

in some more serious situations i make sure i tell the complimentor that they just made me 'feel good' and then i say 'thank you'

 

I'm quite comfortable with compliments...

 

The question is, what do u like to hear when u compliment someone?
I used to feel awkward when pple complimented me, but then i realized that simple politeness (i.e. saying "thank u") sounds way better than anything else.

 

That's a great way to put it Crayola. If I compliment someone and they say thank you sincerely it feels like they value my opinion I guess. That's a good vibe to give off.

 

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and give a simple "I know"

 

I'm a bit of a ham really.

Complement me enough, and I'll probably give it up. :biggrin:

 

I always say "well thank you very much" in my most sincere voice all the while I'm thinking - I know I look good; said something important or whatever.

 

Much lolz!

I normally say "thank you but I'm sure I could improve" or something along those lines, depending on the compliment. Expresses the gratitude and blocks any chance of you being taken as arrogant. It also serves as a good reminder that you can in fact be improved to you and whoever complimented you.

For compliments based purely on looks or something I don't say anything, maybe just smile.

At the end of the day, if you're not arrogant then you shouldn't feel arrogant. Be yourself, not the person you choose to be because you're worried what people will think of you.

 

I like getting compliments. I just ok or alright or laugh about it or say thank you. I always get compliments from ladies in their 40's saying I am such a sweet young man haha. I guess they are used to rude teenagers or something.

 

Im usally just like awwh thank you!
&then say something nice about them.

 

I just say thank you. I don't overthink it.

 

So fake... I have met people that do that and you can usually tell when they do. What good is a compliment if we get it because we complimented someone and their predetermined response is to compliment back? There are compliments to be cherished but that sort is not one of them. Often they are very general and unspecific, or any attempted specifics fall apart if expanded upon at all.

This reminds me, I ask people closer to me why they complimented me and what in particular makes them do that. Not in an offensive kind of way, more out of genuine interest for the positives they can attribute to me. A true friend will always let you know how you come across to the best of their ability and they can be the greatest tools in achieving the personality that you desire.

I'm aware that there are a lot of social rules around nowadays and returning a compliment may be a little rule for some people. In my eyes, this is a "nothing thing", ie a conditioned (whether by the self or an outside stimulus) reponse with no practical value to the environment beyond ticking a box in a perconceived idea of how people should behave, completely devoid of individual expression.

It's like not telling people that they have food on their teeth or face, or dirt. Or a bogey hanging from their nostril. Very often you will find out from a friend as soon as you see them that you have shaving foam, or toothpaste, ,or dirt, or food, or hair, or make-up, or dry skin, or your clothes are not adorned properly. A lot of people wonder "How long have I been walking around like this? Since this morning? Why did nobody say anything?"

The answer to that question is something along the lines of this: Consider the people you interacted with, stood near or just walked past in the street or on your way to get to your next seat who did not tell you about that blatant and easily dealt with abnormality in your appearance. They just smiled back at you when you smiled at them because you caught them looking at you. Or you looked away after a fraction of a second of eye contact and they felt no compulsion to interact with you. When you smile at an acquaintance or throw them a quick compliment or handshake as you pass by on the way to your destination, that's all they do back at you. They don't think about you, they don't consider who you are, what you're doing. They don't even look at you close enough sometimes to notice the smudged lipstick or the bleeding slit on your face from slipping with your razor that morning. Their entire attention is taken up by the interaction with you, by the relationship that they have with you. By the concept you say a greeting, they say a greeting, they return your handshake and then you go on with your lives.

That's fine for acquaintances, it's cool to be nice to each other. What I feel I see and experience too much of now is people elevating levels of acquaintances to positions of friendship, sometimes even close friendship. A lot of the arguments and bad sentiment you have with someone who you thought you were close to will be because you were not as close as you thought you were. Friendships have been replaced with sharing interests in entertainments - mainly television, films and videogames, one would think at this point - and not with genuine concern and consideration and compassion towards the human being they are spending that time with. There is no longer a collective creative goal in a group of friends, only a place in a pre-defined social environment where the destination is nowhere and boxes always need ticking.

So in other words most of what we say to (at) each other is just "blah blah blah" with very little substance and absolutely no longevity. Very little people understand their own behaviour or the behaviour of others, very little numbers of people care enough about themselves (I mean more their minds) or the minds of others. In an age of convenience, somewhere along the way a lot of our relationships have become conveniences as well.

 

compliment me and the panties drop.

 

Compli-whats? :willy_nilly:

 

I mumble thanks or not respond. I just don't tend to believe it, so I don't act like I do.

 

thank you of course.

 

I say "you're damn right" ..and then do this