About Me

This discussion is going off on a tangent. But it is about message board regulations in general. So I will post this here.

About the God-helps-those-who-help-themselves thing. I tell people, when Richard Burton gets drunk and forgets his lines, everyone thinks it's brilliant. He's reinterpreting "Hamlet", they say. When I talk about a new scientific theory, everyone thinks it's stupid, because I am the one who thought of it. That God-helps-those things works the other way. When I say something perfectly innocent, people think there must be something very wrong with it. Not because there ever is. Not even remotely, like with the God-helps-those thing. But because I said it.

I was also talking with this lady recently. I have Schizotypal Personality Disorder. My doctor seems to indicate I probably don't have mental deficiency though. But I was probably directed into an education program in GS and HS more geared towards my abilities. I did well in GS and HS. But tend to get my information in small bites. That actually might be more of a concentration thing anyways. But this lady said, now they are a little more open which class group they put you in. I have a relative who obviously has intellectual problems (though outwardly he appears quite normal and has a nice job requiring a high college degree). But he did poorly in school. Probably because he was put in the wrong program. He might have just absorbed information differently. Like me.

Speaking of how people absorb their information. The fact some people just absorb information differently than others doesn't mean they aren't entitled to the same information as everyone else. That fact, that they don't have the same info as everyone else, and I am speaking generally now understand, can get be dangerous and can even get you into a lot of trouble in our society.

 

More. Yeah, I am never rude with the police. If I were I probably would have gotten arrested by now. I actually have never had a bad experience with the police. Though I agree, they are kind of rude sometimes. But it's worth pointing out, if I was ever arrested, what if I spent the night in jail? I have Cerebral Palsy. I could never defend myself in place like that. Plus I have problems with breathing due to my CP. Not saying this could ever have happen: But if the police or anyone else ever beat me up. What if I went into a coma? With my breathing difficulties I may not survive it. At the very least they couldn't lay me on my back. I stop breathing if I am laid on my back in a certain position. Probably due to sleep apnea. Or maybe the CP? I don't know anymore. (My doctors have told me now though, okay we agree. You obviously have Cerebral Palsy.)

 

Yeah, I didn't know this section of the boards even existed. Thanks mod's for bringing it to my attention . It's very odd for me or really anyone on these boards to get a warning of any kind. Because as I've said before, you mod's are very hands-off. But thanks again .

Yeah, I do sometimes talk a lot because I have a lot of information to share with everyone and all groups. But in the future I will be careful to make sure it's in right section. Maybe next time if I'm not sure, message a moderator first. That's what I often do on other boards.

 

Part of the secrecy and other stuff involving my mental treatment seems to be because of my political views. I'm serious. I think they are very mainstream, especially now. And I only have SPD. But I didn't know that someone's politics could affect their mental health care. That sounds like something that they'd do in the 50's. Also, the fact most people in the outside world didn't know this was even happening in my life was the problem. Maybe I should tell more people about how I have been mistreated by the mental health industry since I was a kid. Or get more people involved in any event.

 

Yeah, it is becoming clear that much of the secrecy surrounding my medical treatment, especially as a young adult, has had something to do with my political views. I'm serious. I have SPD. But I have never had behavioral issues or been in trouble with the law. And, the reason for the secrecy is also because they knew if others found out, they would be as outraged as I am.

My political views are very mainstream now. They certainly have never been harmful or controversial. I think I will take a more direct approach to this. In 1992 I was involuntarily hospitalized and forcibly medicated for wearing loose-fitting plastic gloves that could lead to "infection and death". It was all silliness, when I was on the witness stand during my proceeding to be involuntarily hospitalized. Though I still wonder what the onlookers in the court thought of it all.

If they want issue out of my political views, I think we should and I will next time I will for sure. And any time that may follow. And. I will also bring up all the ways I was abused by the system over the years. That was never brought up in 1992. I now realize it should have been, as I always will from now on.

 

Another thing too. After Thanksgiving vacation 1984 in HS, my then-psychiatrist put me on Haldol (Haloperidol) and he kept me on it for over a month. It caused horrible side effects, among other things turning me into a virtual invalid when I took it. School and home, home and school. That was all I could focus on then. Good thing I didn't have a job or social life back then.

But you know, Haldol doesn't treat Schizotypal Personality Disorder. People thought back then it may help people with that disorder a little bit. But it certainly wasn't helping me in the slightest. I told him that, in addition to all the side effects, including extreme sedation. He just kept telling me, well you know. I went over the list of side effects with you when I first started you on it. And you'll remember nothing like what you are describing was even on it. In fact, he told me, I've never even heard of a side effect like you're describing. It's called akathisia. And it was well-known to the medical community by then.

Finally, I still remember, just before Christmas Vacation, I stopped taking it. And I told him. He was all like, whatever, whatever. He really didn't seemed to care one way or another, about that or anything else really, in my life. And you know it's frightening. Even 40 years later, that stuff is still affecting me. It screwed me up mentally. Not severely, and no one will tell me anything now either. But it altered my brain chemistry, clearly. I took a very low dose. And I don't think people with Cerebral Palsy should be taking that stuff anyways. The side effects are much more pronounced.

I'm not saying my experiences with my mental health treatment in my life was all bad. My mother always made sure I went to the best hospitals and had the best doctors. But there was some abuse. And many times the main problem was people like the above doctor just didn't seem to care.

The above doctor was in a nice private mental hospital though. They had a place for shuffleboard. And I think they had a swimming pool too. But I wouldn't have enjoyed it. I couldn't be around people then. And I would have been all doped up when I was in patient there.

 

Also, I was going to say. I am exploring various legal options now. That is all I will say about that.

But you know, I was telling my therapist, central to any legal argument I make will be my having a car and driver's license. I got my permanent license in 1989. And I have an excellent driving record. Certainly better than most. I've only been in two accidents. And the first thing arriving police and paramedics said was they both clearly weren't my fault. But at least since around 2000, people have been trying to take my car and license away from me. My psychiatrist keeps bringing it up once in a while. Though he hasn't done that for a long time. In a nearby city in 2001, I was ticketed for pouring coffee into my spill-proof mug on a deserted highway. The first thing the two policeman brought up when they arrived was whether I should be driving to begin with. I told them I was an excellent driver. Look it up. Then they gave me the highest fine they could and two points on my license. In Michigan, where I live, you have your driver's license suspended if you get six points. Also, with one of those two accidents I described above. The one that occurred in 2013 actually. As I said, a paramedic was the first to arrive. I told him, it was a power outage. The traffic signal was blinking yellow and red. And I had the yellow. The guy going in the opposing direction had the red. I clearly had the right of way. He looked confused. So I said, well, you know the rule book does say in a situation like that, when you have the yellow, you should proceed "carefully". Then he paused again and said yeah, carefully, carefully. He kept repeating "carefully" over and over again. Then I said, you know the guy T boned me, and he didn't even swerve. He didn't even see me (it was some older guy). What if I got hurt? That shut him up.

Anyways, I live in Detroit. You know, Detroit is making a comeback these days. And I have always been proud to be from Detroit. "Stand up and tell them you're from Detroit" and TV promo used to say in the 80's. But we have no supermarkets. Not really, not within walking distance. And I have the beginning of mobility issues. I'm a middle aged man now. I have Diabetic neuropathy in both feet. Mild now, fortunately. And my friend across the street agrees with me. It's dangerous to live in Detroit without a car. Don't even mail letters in our neighborhood he warned me, even in the middle of the day, whatever that means. But you know, people in my life are still talking about taking away my car! Apparently. Or so they tell me. Like my doctor, they drop the subject. Then then they bring up, then they drop it again, etc. Anyways, that is going to be central to any legal argument I ever make in my life. My car. I will always need it. Unless I go blind or something like that, of course. Now a lady friend once told me, if I loose too much function in my feet, they do have hand pedals for cars. A lady friend of hers has that, she told me. Although FWIW, the neuropathy isn't getting too much worse. And I started a new "medical food", available only by prescription yesterday. My podiatrist prescribed it. He said it should reverse the condition, which as I said, is not too bad now.

But having a car will be central to my argument. Because I will always need one. And no one should have so much power over me they can make decisions like that, especially behind my back. I should have the same rights as anyone else in this country.

 

Yeah, the problem with the local police treating me differently really started at age 14. It's hard to say. I had no reason to suspect they didn't like me. I am a good person. I always have been and always will be. Actually, I'm better than most people I think. I'm not just tooting my own horn. It's true. And I've never even spent even the night in jail. And how would I have fared there anyways with my Cerebral Palsy and poor social skills? And juvenile hall at age 14? Where I live, some people say that place is just as bad. Maybe worse. But, in my Freshman year in HS, 1982-3, my mother was taking an income tax course at a nearby community college. And I would wait for her to finish class. There was this vending machine area for snacks. And I would go in there and get a quick bite to eat. I liked being alone even back then, for some reason. So I'd wait for everyone to leave the area before I bought something from one of the vending machines. There were just vending machines there, as I said. And this obnoxious security guard took me aside. He told me he thought it was odd that I waited for everyone to leave the room before I made a purchase. Then he pretended to have a discussion about it with another security guard working there. Don't you think it's odd? he asked him. He has to be alone to make a purchase in the vending machine area? Yes, the other guard agreed with him. I've been observing him do that, he told the other guard, for some time now. And he just did it again just now. It's very suspicious. I was very frightened at that point. But I was trying to be polite. Well, I said, I'm just waiting for my mother who's taking a class at your college. And really all I am doing is getting a snack. He thought about it. Well, okay, if you say so, he said. We'll let you continue coming here, to wait for your mother. But be forewarned. We're watching you closely. And if there's any problem, we'll come looking for you. What? I thought. If a crime was committed on campus, they'd come first to me? Even if I wasn't a suspect? Even if I didn't do it? That just didn't make sense. But you know, more than one security guard in my life has said that too me. And I never cause trouble. They usually say that when I am doing something perfectly innocent. I never break the law, as I've said. I wouldn't even know where to get illegal drugs. I just don't hang out with that type of crowd.

More. In the Summer of 1991, I was carjacked late at night, really not more than a couple of miles from where I live, ironically. Okay, I was at an adult book store that night. There I said it. This was before the age of smartphones. So I called my mother on a pay phone immediately to have her pick me up. When we got down to the police station, all the officer behind the desk taking the report could focus on was why I was outside an adult book store so late at night. I had just had a large caliber gun poked into my back! I could have been paralyzed or killed. But he didn't care. He was more concerned about the morality of going to an adult book store. Anyways, my mother told him off. That's what I liked about her. She wasn't afraid to stand up to a cop even. If it was for a family member. BTW, they did recover my car a couple of weeks later, abandoned on a street. When we got it back, the perpetrators had left an envelope in it with their address on it. Maybe we should give this to the police, I told my mother. But she said with disgust, just forget about it. We're done thru dealing those jerks, on this matter at least.

 

Reading that certainly made me glad that we are in the UK.
As you may have noticed from my comments, our daughter is a London police officer and their is no way that you would have been treated with such disrespect anywhere in the UK.
Low lifes with a long criminal record may not agree.

America is a rich and powerful country and the visitors we meet are alway lovely people.
However, their is something seriously wrong with the counties internal structure.

 

You need to stop thinking about any mental disability, you are an intelligent and articulate person.
The US seem to want to cram everyone into the same jellymould. It is pointless and cruel.

I hate to say this, but I think thing would have been much better for your family if you had all been over here in a nice part of the country.
As you can see, life is very relaxed where we live.

 

Well, anyways, I do have a little more to add. (You know, information sometimes comes to me in short bursts. That is why I express myself the way I do.) But I still think I might be borderline mentally deficient. I was deprived of Oxygen at birth. Starting 2011, my doctors told me that it might have just led to Cerebral Palsy. Now they are all silent on the subject. But I think I would probably score lower on the part of the IQ test that has to do with social skills. I don't have control or behavioral issues of course. But my social skills are atrocious. But I do excel in the areas of math, science, philosophy and literature.

My problems may be partly psychological too I think, and just appear intellectual. Sometimes it seems I can't understand something I read that is highly scientific or technical. But the next day I read it, and have no problem. I find things, like paying bills, is a lot easier than I thought it would be. People say no layman could fill out the 1040 tax form. But you know, I never tried. I might be able to do it.

I will always need a little help. But no one should be able to make major decisions behind my back. And I need the full legal status of Cerebral Palsy. As I get older, things associated with aging will get worse with it. I am very weak physically. I bruise easily. My lungs and throat are affected by my CP. I have problems swallowing and my lungs feel tired sometimes. If I enter a coma, I may never emerge for this reason. And as I tell people, I need to be protected from other people. I really can't lift much more than 50 pounds. Maybe not even that, in fact.

Yes, I will always need a little help in life. But only by people with my best interests at heart.

 

As I told my Dr., I can't believe, walking around outside, how stupid people are on average. I'd say about half of them. And I don't just mean their judgement. And, when I was in HS, one of my very smart teachers told us they used an acronym in his law class. I thought only I did that. Medical personnel use ROY-G-BIV to remember the spectrum.

I know I have some minor problems with concentration. And my Schizotypal Personality Disorder affects my memory in other ways. So I might even have a better memory than them.

 

Speaking of my intelligence, and what I know about it. When I took my HS placement test, it had significant figures on it. Something I was never taught, therefore couldn't possibly had known. Same thing with my first French final exam in HS. She had questions on there that had to do with nothing in the text book or that she covered in class. I still got good marks on both tests, which I could never figure out. But you know, it was a good thing. If I failed school, grade school, HS or college, that would mark me for life. And I don't think I will ever pursue a career anyways.

 

I am still concerned about my legal status. And all the secrecy in my life. When people first meet me, they sometimes think I can't do things like read and tie my shoes. Obviously because someone told them something like that. And my legal status. I could be wrong. But I think recently someone was trying to put me away somewhere. Possibly just a group home. But in Michigan, where I live, you can only take away someone's freedom if they are a risk to themselves or others. If someone has that power over anyone, something is very wrong. And also I suspect people were trying take away my freedoms because I was having a little trouble budgeting my money. Now that last one is really ridiculous. I don't know what my legal status is. People won't tell me. But I want the same rights as anyone else. And no one should have that power over anyone. And my car. People have been trying to take it away for over 20 years now as I said. They'll drop it, then a couple years later they'll bring it up, then they'll drop it again, etc. I am an excellent driver, better than average. And as I said, that along with my legal status (whatever it is) will be my main focus from now on.

And I still can't figure out all the secrecy. One doctor recently confided in my that I have been watched all my life. Why? I'm a good person and I've never done anything wrong. I may have been falsely accused of something while still a child. That is just a theory. But you know, it would make a lot of sense, with some of the weird stuff I have seen over the years.

I am going to look into my legal status and change it if necessary. And I will make sure no one ever unjustly takes away my car. Do whatever I can for both those things legally of course. But both those things will be my focus from now on.

 

Also, I know what the reason might be for trying to take away my car for over 20 years now. Remember, I just said might be. But I thought of this when all this nonsense began then. It might be to make the argument that I am not independent. Because I certainly couldn't take care of myself if I couldn't drive. Actually, at that point, that would be a very good argument.

I just know, as I have always told people, there is no rational reason to take my car away. People usually agree. But all these years later still, no one will tell me why they are even considering it. Or why people are still talking about it.

 

Also. If anyone beats me up. Or frankly if the police did something. Hypothetically. I'm sure they wouldn't. I'm charging a hate crime. Beating up someone with Cerebral Palsy is not normal. Anyone who did that would obviously be acting with bias.

It'll never happen. But I am just saying.

 

As I've told my doctor, if I approach this situation legally, I think I'll have to seek stronger penalties than I did when I started. Because something is still going on. People still, still haven't learned their lesson. That's all I'll say on that.

And again, people have far too much power over me. That has to change too.

 

But with your intellectual status, esp. legally, sometimes the way a person appears can make all the difference.

Rosemary Kennedy (1918-2005), oldest daughter of Joe and Rose Kennedy, appeared outwardly to be normal. Look at the old pictures of her. In them, she's smiling, carrying on a conversation and having a good time with her family. But that wasn't the case. During her birth she was deprived of oxygen for two hours. Her reading, writing, and number skills were always at a fourth-grade level. She highest reading achievement was reportedly " Winnie-the-Pooh". But her father thought he could pass her off as normal. She was introduced to Massachusetts' society around age 9-10 by her brother John. And everyone at the time thought she was normal. She even had an audience with the king and queen of the UK in 1938. She stumbled as she tried to curtsey for Queen Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon. But no one seemed to notice.

But then her father, fearful she was becoming rebellious and was perhaps bi-polar, had her given a lobotomy in 1941. And she was never the same again.

 

I don't know if I should say this. But there almost is a humorous element to this car thing.

One doctor told me when my father died in 2011, not having a car would be okay, because my cousin would be chauffeur. My cousin is busy all the time and I can't even rely on him in an emergency. And then one time a cop pulled me over or something. As I told one of my other doctors, he had an annoyed smile on his face. Perhaps because he was frustrated about something. He told me people who don't drive are much happier. As I told the doctor, I should have told him. I'm happiest when I am driving. Because I'm independent. And I won't have to walk out in a big city late at night with the unusual hours I sometimes keep.