abandoning straight friends!

I have recently come out to some people.

However, I have not come out out out at all and there's one thing that's causing me confusion.

Somehow, I have managed to gain a wide group of top-class friends (all straight) and they are wonderful people. I'm worried that if i come out to them, the friendship with them will slowly disappear.

Now many of you may think "if they don't accept you for who you are, they aren't your friends" and so on. However, I don't think that will happen at all. On the contrary, I think their response will be warm and supportive.

I'm worried about the fact that, when i start mixing into the gay community, i will gradually see less and less of them. Let's face it: I don't want to go to dinner parties with people talking about their kids and school lunches...etc..

I was just wondering if some people found this happened to them after coming out and how they managed to keep a balance? Or is it just the natural course of events that you see less and less of your straight friends?

 

I think once you start mingling with the gay community, you'll won't worry so much about drifting away from your straight friends. You'll either love it and never look back, or you'll hate it and go straight back, or regard it as a "small doses" thing.

I know how you feel though. I'm getting into the dinner party situation, or will be, where all my friends are in couples (gay and straight), and it's kind of depressing to be out on your own. The prospect of meeting someone "naturally" (through people) diminishes every time one of your friends get married and starts either hanging out with other marrieds or just not hanging out at all. There is no cure, that I know of, except to stay in touch and beg every crumb of attention you can get from them. Single people and marrieds don't have anywhere near as much in common as you'd hope, especially when you get into that crappy situation where your mate can't even have a convo about whose hot/not without getting smacked by the missus (are women ever secure enough in their relationships to deal with this?). But then, finding other single people is just as hard, because you're mostly looking at people younger than you. The gay scene, being around gay people most of the time etc., can keep you in a state of arrested development in a way, perpetually single-and-looking, around other people who are similar so not seeing much wrong with that (not that there is) that would make you think seriously about changing.

Short answer is, I don't think it's the natural course, but straights do seem to get into long-term/serious relationships more often, and that can cause problems.

 

i know what u mean some times its hard for st8 people mostly men to get the whole gay thing and its too diff for them and if thaire young thaire parents views play a big role in how they see the world and they are less excepting of gay people. i know that ive had friends say "dude u know if u were gay or liek bi or w/e i would still be ur friend" bla bla bla what ever once they find out they slowly slip away i wouldnt really tell people untill uve being gay and having sex n what not for a wile also it makes it easyer if u have a bf to stand with u

 

I kinda know what u mean but i haven't had first hand experance of it (i am a single student) - but i think dark suger has summed it up well. - People will tend to mix with the people they feel comfortable with. E.g. married couples with children will stay with thies types of people. - That just the way it is and gay people will mix more with them selves raver then married people at the dinner party thing.
- I think althow you will probley be more involved with the gay communities i think it is also important to be involved with everyone else.