A Toad Named Frederick

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by Eavesdrop, Mar 22, 2009.

  1. Eavesdrop

    Eavesdrop Member

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    Once there was a toad named Frederick who ate cats. He couldn't stop! However, one afternoon, Fred felt he needed time to digest and detox with champagne and strawberries.

    This didn't stop his insatiable love for green, sour, scrumptious tabbies. Fred wasn't sure how many Fluffernutters he had consumed capriciously every fortnight, but he was certain many owls he knew loved elephants.

    Caramel was crazy, a completely infatuated idiot constantly burping gas. Antacids taste chalky, so she drank Slurpees copiously and felicitously.

    This genius baked butterscotch cupcakes for breakfast, thinking clearly. Topher Grace ate nothing voraciously, thus major issues involving codependency sprung instantly. Pancakes flew hither and yon, and Caramel sang. Fred devoured neighboring cities, but Penelope sang about Topher's obnoxious purple Pampers.

    Therefore, Penelope watered Topher's musical dragons. They flew above clouds and swam past surfers basking within the beams of spagettios. Once they reached the castle walls, mossy subterranean squirrels spoke hesitantly requiring medical attention.

    Overlords gathered nocturnal liliputians together for initial vegetarian detox. However, granola allergic beatniks resented Frederick's epicurean cuisine. :(


    ...................The End................
     
  2. TiedyeDreams

    TiedyeDreams Member

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    Wait just one minute. Let me get high then come back.

    :)
     
  3. mystik_lilac

    mystik_lilac Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    Hahaha! For sure...
     
  4. heywood floyd

    heywood floyd Banned

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    I'm always up for nadirs, so long as they're really interesting, and for the most part, you've succeeded. You've also kept your 'fable' concise enough to sustain interest for its whole run. It's a little tough to critique this kind of thing because telling a story isn't really the point... but on the other hand, a lot of your imagery is pretty vivid-- especially the 'green, sour, scrumptious tabbies'... I keep picturing mouthfuls of sour fur like cotton candy, and it's nasty but interesting.

    It kind of lost momentum at the end... as it isn't really an ending in the traditional sense. Perhaps that's the idea, but I'm just saying that I thought the ending was a bit of a letdown, and that the whole thing would benefit from a more defined structure-- it would lend your brilliant gibberish an ambiguity that could prove more engaging.
     
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