A recent poem

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by ness33, Jan 28, 2012.

  1. ness33

    ness33 Member

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    Distance:

    So dangerous in the way you gaze
    reflecting rays of emerald pierce my aura,
    vibrant and sincere, as if god united sunset and sunrise,
    just to experience the rush.

    Hands spin counter-clockwise and miles of asphalt burn into sand.
    As I peer out onto your gentle and beautiful silhouette
    It is seductive and transparent as a mirage.
    I am left stranded, senselessly yearning your whole vapor.
    But I dream effortlessly, knowing anticipation is never infinite.
     
  2. rambleON

    rambleON Coup

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    I like the thought: the distance between us is dangerous, I know that by the way you gaze...nice. Body language can communicate, I like that.

    fave line:
    vibrant and sincere, as if god united sunset and sunrise,
    just to experience the rush.


    very nice..so much working and going on. Nice capture.

    Overall nice job. anticipation is never infinite...better catch and claim it while youth is on your side.

    drop some more, I like this.
     
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