a question of friendship

i'm gay of course. i'm very willing to tell people that i'm gay if they ask me if i am, which they usually do. well one of my friends, susan, goes around telling everyone that i'm gay. the people usually never even see me, therefore making their own assumptions about who i am and what i act like. these are usually bad assumptions. well, the other day i was walking out the door to my school and i heard this kid yell "faggot." i just turned around and said "fuck off." i noticed that he played french horn. thats what my loudmouth friend susan plays so i knew that she was probably the one that told him i was gay. which was fine. but i knew that she probably told him all of the interesting things that i had done with guys. that probably didn't help knowing that he (patrick) hates gay people. everytime patrick sees me in the hall he always says things like "fucking faggot" well just yesterday i went with susan to go get her instrument. patrick was standing over there. i didn't say nething until he started giving me dirty looks. so i said, "what the hell do u want fucker?" then he said, "faggot duschbag" susan immedietly starts pushing me through the door out into the hallway. once we were outside she said to me, "dont be mean to patrick. hes really nice. hes my friend"
so the question is i don't know if i should be friends with someone that doesn't mind if people make fun of my sexuality. please help!

 

The problem with the latest encounter is that it was you who initiated the 'argument', by saying "what the hell do u want fucker", you're giving him permission to then lay into you. She does not see him calling a fag all the time, nor how much it hurts (which it does, even if you don't want to admit it).

What you need to do is make sure that your friend know what he's doing to you (calling you a fag, etc..), and explain to her that it's not very nice. She might then change her view on the whole thing, but as it stands at the moment, all she knows is that you started having a go at her friend.

Sorry I can't offer any more help, good luck with it.

 

Animal, I'm not terribly OPEN about it, especially here in the Hip Forums. But, I'm Bi. It sounds to ME, Like "Patric" is curious. And your friend is jealous.Dump her. Really. Who needs that shit?

 

Smash his face in...he won't let up till you beat the fuck out of him....lose your friend...she's no good if she is going to hang around a guy like that.

 

What I do think you should do is talk with Susan & tell her what an imbusol her friend Patrick is. It also sounds like she isn't aware that being called homophobic names hurts. You should let her know that it does. If she then still sides with Patrick you have to make your own decision as to if you want to continue to attempt to educate her about this or just move on. Anyhow that's how I would handle this.

That said, something I always remember is that Patrick is only using words. Words used in this manner can only hurt you if you let them. If you don't let him get under your skin with these words he won't be able to. Something that comes to my mind would be to say the next time he calls you faggot something like. "Ya, so?" or maybe "Why do you keep stating the obvious?"
Or just plain ignore the ignorant.......

 

dump her and ignore him. "IF" she is your friend she should've stood by your side regardless of the fact you pre-emptied with your statement.

I picture this guy as a small, scrawny pin head and you could counter homo-boy with a "well YOU play the faggoty french horn ... homo", especially if other male memebers of the brass band are there and see how he deals with that. I played the trombone and baritone andwe looked down on the male french horn/flute players.

** no offence to those who play the french horn ** just a typical highschool retort, the best defense is a strong offense and I like being offensive.