For a while now I've been speculating on the colusion of monogamous/intimacy needs and the need for sexual experimentation and freedom. Both, by themselves seem insufficient. Therefore, how's about trying monogamy for limited amounts of time (when the couple feels the need for exclusivity) and then switching to an open relationship (still prioritizing the friendship with the same partner) when the need for experimentation arises and vice-versa? Perhaps experimenting together... I know what you are all going to say...Once monogamous, it's hard to be open to sharing partners. Or that it's impossible that the two parties will have the same need for experimentation at the same time. But one must try something!
I know I'm young, and being in college with a girlfriend is different then being married with a life. However, my situation may apply since you never mentioned marriage in your post. I was with a girl that I love for the last 2+ years of high school. Now that I am away at college we still see each other and have sex when I am home. We both consider ourselves single and are open about our active sexual lives at school. When I am home with her we act as if nothing has changed since high school, and this open relationship is working better then I could have imagined. If our relationship continues to go as well as it is, and we are still together when college is over I do not know what will happen. I can see us married after college and just eliminating the 'open' part of our relationship. Of course only time will tell. I understand the need to experiement and 'spice things up' after being together for too long. The summer before college we were starting to get tired of each other. We tried new things in bed but that frustrated me further because I am more adventurouse then she is. If we had been married and possibly with children we would have been in a tough spot. I hope someone who is married will chime in because this is a very sensitive topic that I am interested in.
I was referring to relationships in general, since I'm rather skeptical of marriage in general. Your situation is too convenient to apply to what I'm referring to. You both know you're going to leave, so there is no conflict. I'm thinking more about situations in which you want a relationship with someone, but intermittently choose to open that relationship to sexual experimentation, and, if need be, return to monogamy as both partners see fit.
i guess isee things differntly, if you want to fuck around whenever you need to then why bother with a relationship? what if your in the monogomous relationship and you decide to try to invite others into the relationship and your partner vehemently refuses do you breeak up with that person or do you cheat?? can't have yur cake and eat it too