A little funny something

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by dylanzeppelin, May 31, 2007.

  1. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

    Mickey Mouse has just been found in treatment. After many weeks of the search of this famous mouse, it has come to our attention that he has been in rehab for some time now. After all the stress of trying to keep with the most happiest place on earth, he crack down and got into some drugs. Heavy drugs that made his ears start to sag. Mickey then decided to divorced Minnie and just kept getting kick out of random friends’ houses. When asked by his friends their opinion of this situation, they were all saddened. The best buddy to marry, he had lost control of his life, trying numerous times to end it all. Mickey has no longer smiled like he used to, and is very sad nowadays.
    Mickey Mouse is known to the world as the first cartoon made from Walt Disney. He was the founder of Disney World and all the franchise that follows. Mickey Mouse is an international star, where everybody knows who he is. So, you could understand where he comes from when something like this occurs. His hands are now down by his side and he just looks like he hasn’t slept in years. He has gained some weight, he has become almost unrecognizable. He is not the once happiest mouse in the world. He is now known as Crack Mouse, as his druggies friends have said. Minnie has cried many nights because of his attitude towards life. He has given up.
    I guess, we really didn’t know him to have seen this coming. Did anybody know him well? We just hope that he gets better in due time. He will need as much support for all of the smiles he has put on many children and adult alike as he can get, during this rough time in his life.
  2. I like your story. it was amusing but to be really honest I was hoping you would have ended it with mickey mouse committing suicide, or getting stabbed in an alleyway by someone who just hates him for being a twat with a very high pitched voice and for not renouncing his American citizenshup
  3. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

    It's a work in progress =) But thank you.
  4. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

    I found it really sad DZ. The bit that got me was when his perky ears started to droop. Just some ideas for development if you continue this Disney oddyssey will be a faltering sperm count, and perhaps a bald patch. It will be nice to see the mouse getting involved in some anarchist activities, too. Education for the masses.
  5. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

    I just wrote this for my creative class. Our prompt was to write about a familiar character in an unusual situation. No worries, I have much love for the mouse. =)
  6. I wish mickeymouse were real I woul jump on him and put him in a healock and keep pummelling his face with my fist - he is a twat
  7. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

    Ronnie. I think this story is misleading. It's called "A Little Funny Something", but it's got nothing to do with a little fanny. I was kind of disapointed as bit. I was expecting a bit of titilation with rhubarb and custard.
  8. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

  9. thats ok - next time write something more sinister - maybe where mickey mouse gets mashed up in a combine harvester and doesnt survive and there are huge parties all over the world because the overhyped mouse is dead
  10. dirtydog

    dirtydog Banned

    Mickey was having hard times like you say, so he requested an interview with a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist listened to his problems, including marital problems, for some time, then said,
    "I think we should bring Minnie in for a consultation."
    "Why?", Mickey asked.
    "You just told me you thought she was crazy, didn't you?"
    "No, I never said she was crazy. All I said was she was fucking Goofy!"

    Try keeping all or most of your writing in the same tense. Past tense is common but present tense might also work. There will still be the odd sentence where you want to go to the past perfect (I had been running), perfect (I have been running), future (I will run), or future perfect (I will have been running).

    Also you use the terms 'our' and 'we' without identifying who they are.

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