i don't know if this has been asked before, but i'm in need of some advice. so i've started dating this guy and he is truly amazing, almost perfect for me. he is my ideal guy, however, he is a terrible kisser. i need to know how to tell him or help him out without hurting his feelings. so , without giving me a hard time (which is what usually happens on these forums), please give me some advice. i would greatly appreciate any advice offered
Im not exactly sure. You could say to him lets practice our kissing skills....or something like that.
I think that he is either new to kissing girls and hasnt had much expierience.. which ussually has a way of fixing itself. OR he just doesnt understand how you like to be kissed. I know you might be afraid your hurting his feelings but Im sure he really wants to be a good kisser and would appreciate the advice you give him. I know it sounds akward but just be honest with him cause if everything else is going good with this guy your only goin to strengthen the relationship by fixing those tiny little problems.
Take control when kissing, and kiss how you want him to kiss you. Eventually he'll start to respond the way you want. Also, when he does something right, tell him that you really like it when he... <whatever he does>. Point out the things he does right, and teach him without saying he's terrible. Usually inexperienced kissers will emulate what their partners do.
i had this same problem... i dealt with it by just 'taking control' and letting him follow my lead, hoping that hed pick up on atleased SOMETHING. well, he did, but not really. i think he didnt know he was doing anythign wrong, so he didnt really think to pick up on things i was doing. looking back, i wish i would have told him, "listen dude, stop being so lazy!"
you have gotten some really good advice already. Sometimes being a bad kisser (or worse, someone not all that good in bed) is a result of them being too self-centered/self-absorbed to pay attention to what their partner likes and wants them to do. and sometimes it's just inexperience. If he doesn't follow your lead and continues to kiss all wrong, it could be a sign of worse problems to come.
It might help if we knew how he was a bad kisser. What is he doing wrong? Also, Mrs. H gave some great advice. I know that I respond much better to positive reinforcement rather than being told I am doing something wrong. As much as I would like to think I am above all of that, stroking the male ego is a powerful tool.
wow wow, thank you so much everybody. i really appreciate getting this great advice. i believe it's definitely due to lack of experience and maybe i've been a little spoiled because i have had experience in that department. i will take your guys advice and try to lead and if that doesn't work, i will tell him what i want him to do while kissing and maybe that will help. in response to driftwood his tongue is just really really busy. he is the best sax player in the county and i have a feeling he's trying out his sax tonguing tricks on me but only i'm not a sax so i don't enjoy it.
If there is good chemistry and he just happens to kiss bad (that would turn me off though) then you can let him know but how you respond. He should get the picture if you pull back and say "I like this or that" very sweetly.
I once kissed a girl who had a busy tongue. She would stick it in my mouth and swirl it around forcefully. Luckily it was only a one-night make out session so I didn't have to train her. Maybe you could get him to do other things like gently suck on your lower lip while kissing so that his tongue has to slow down. It reminds of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine is dating the musician and screws up his performance after he unsuccessfully goes down on her.
