a hot & cold scenario

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by RainyDayHype, May 25, 2013.

  1. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    Let's say that two people in a relationship have different opinions on what makes a room comfortable to sleep in.

    The man likes the room to be cold no matter what the weather is like, no matter what the temperature happens to be. He would like the air condition on 24/7 and has it on as often as possible. He even sleeps with a fan on. And only uses a sheet. He hates falling asleep to music.

    The woman likes to be comfy and snug..If she feels cold, she would like the heater on. She always sleeps with a blanket. Room temperature doesn't bother her. The sound of a fan is actually bothersome to her, but will deal with it for her partner. She likes silence (with the exception of nice soothing music to fall asleep to..)

    I was in this exact scenario in a relationship and while it seemed simple to solve, this caused so many issues and constant fighting.

    I would tell him to go ahead and have a fan on himself in the bedroom, just to please keep it off of me.
    This would never work and we'd end up sleeping in completely different rooms. He would be on the couch with his fan blaring and often with the ac on. I would be in the bedroom and just close the ac air vent.

    What would your solution be in a scenario like this? have you ever gone through something like this??
    I'd like to hear from both men and women and see how they would handle this.

    ..or it could be the other way around where the man prefers to be warm and the woman cold and with whatever gender//orientation is your preference

    Should I make sure that my next partner has the same ideal of sleep comfort as me next time around??
  2. laughing-buddha

    laughing-buddha Relax and have fun

    Exactly, the same here, except - my wife needs fan ON - full speed.
    and that constant noise works like a soothing music for her.

    I hate it. Tried to accommodate. Later changed my place to couch in next room.

    Apart from that- I need something- blanket--or a sheet at least. Can't sleep without covering myself. She doesn't like anything on her, even if its too cold.

    Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I have covered her with a small sheet, gently, without waking her up, only to find later on that it has moved under her legs.

    No, I don't think there is any solution to this. Personality types?
  3. Sassygurl

    Sassygurl Member

    This is the same scenario in my house, except its not something we fight about.

    I like it hot, he likes it cold. I have a condition called Reynaud's where if I'm cold the blood vessels in my fingers and toes snap shut....and they turn white with no blood..its not the best...so I could easily win the "I need heat!" Argument...but relationships are work and compromise so we do this:

    He has a fan at the foot of the bed that points at him...I can feel it a bit but I sleep with the comforter up around my neck so its not a big deal. We have an electric mattress cover where each of us controls our own side....I sleep with my side on low in the winter and he doesn't use his at all. As for the noise....perhaps a new fan that makes less noise??

    As for finding someone with similar sleep habits....you can try...but I'd wager that most men prefer to have things on the cooler side.....and you have to decide what is really a deal-breaker.
  4. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    thanks for the responses

    I guess this is all too common then...(one partner preferring hot and the other preferring cold)
    and I was just dealing with a very stubborn guy who pretty much never wanted to accommodate me...
    I did try to compromise with him.

    He made me feel that a relationship with someone with a different idea of comfort was hopeless.
  5. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    I'm also very prone to ocd tendencies and he'd leave the room with no intention on coming back and leave the fan on...and I'd still be in there

    and just eikgjrgje]hpoth;reohlkrthkflb,dfbg!?!


    common courtesy would be to turn it off..
    I really can't stand fans. I'll only put one on myself if it's well over 100 degrees..
  6. Sassygurl

    Sassygurl Member

    Sounds like he was not open to compromise....and a bit of an ass if he'd leave and not turn the fan off......I would say rather than looking for someone with compatible sleeping styles focus more on looking for some one with compassion and a sense of common courtesy. ;)
  7. Spectacles

    Spectacles My life is a tapestry Lifetime Supporter

    This thread reminds me of when I was married back in the 70's. We were housesitting for our friends who lived in an old farm house that was very cold in the winter. When they made up the bed before we came they accidentally switched the controls of a heating blanket. I was freezing all night and kept turning up my control. My husband, who was getting all that heat, kept turning down his control because he was burning up. The next day we realized the mistake. We did not fight about it but I never wanted to sleep under a heating blanket ever again.
  8. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    You're right and I really need to stop dating assholes...
  9. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

    Yes and of you don't snore your partner shouldn't snore, that can ruin relationships too.
  10. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    a partner snoring has ironically never bothered me much

    I'm not a snorer and all of my partners except for one have been pretty quiet as a mouse too while sleeping..
  11. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

    my ex used to snore. i always ended up sleeping in another room, I knew it wouldn't last.
  12. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    well, must be that the couple that sleeps together, stays together..
  13. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

    I'm the buried in blankets partner. I am also fine with a cold room, IF I'm able to get warmed up.
    I actually have a small blanket, doubled over, between the sheet and duvet.
    Partner sleep with just sheet and duvet. We keep windows open and occasionally use the fan. The noise bothers him. I'm neutral on it, but prefer silence.
  14. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    If my husband snored, I'd sleep in another room. I've had a partner in the past who smoked and snored. We'd spend the day together, we even worked at the same place, but when it was time to sleep, I'd take my car and drive to my flat. Separated places is the only solution if he's a smoker.
  15. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    My partner likes colder room temperature than I do.

    We have my ideal temperature in the living room and his in the bedroom.

    Getting used to it wasn't really difficult: he wears short sleeves and I bought and extra blanket for myself.
    In summer nights he sleeps closer to the window, that we keep open.

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