A guy named Juan stole my sense

Let me tell you. .. I'm drunk sorta. YOu won't talk to me in this state often, so here it is. I'm gonna spill my random shit all over this forum, bitch.



Jesus eats roast beef, enjoys


Just the other day, I was walking down the street, having a wonderful conversation with the messiah. He told me that I should change my life. I should love the father, respect the son, and fuck the holy spirit.

would you like some cheese? yes yes, I have plenty. It's in the fridge. want some crackers to go with it? I've got some kickass low-fat triscuts. You've gotta try these bastards, they're great.

And then jesus vomitted on my new boots. The bastard!@ so I punched his nose. It broke. More than that, my fist shoved his fragile nose into his head, inverted it. his nose was poking INTO his head~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I ran the fuck away before he could summon the holy spirit on my ass. Afterall, the holy spirit is a powerful motherfucker. He can summon like. .. a fucking icestorm on my ass. OR worse, he'll throw me in a motherfucking lion pen. Those bitches will tear me to shreds. Blood everywhere, my clothes ruined. . . wouldn't be a good situation.

I've got a plan though. See. . .if I kill christ, noneo f this will ever happen! It's Brialliant! BRILLIANT! yes, yes? agree with me motherfucker, or I'll tear your eye out with a fishhook.
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I used to go fishing. One day, I fell into the water. It was cold and I was young. I cried. The end.

 

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that just sound like a horrible trip someone had. and bla bla bla bla bla bla gibberish