A former lover....

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by jonathansqrt, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. jonathansqrt

    jonathansqrt Guest

    How would you react if you, out of the blue, were contacted by a former girlfriend (from 25 years ago)?



    I must confess to be quite in a pickle. I am (genuinely) happily married and we have a child. I wouldn't pretend life is perfect but it's pretty good. When we make love (which I wish was much more) it is wonderful, we get on together reasonably well, though after 24 years together we haven't quite as much to say and we're quite often a bit grumpy with each other. But, really, I can have no complaints. I do love and like my wife. I have never been unfaithful, never even looked.



    Okay, so, out of the blue, my university girlfriend contacts me, she saw me coincidently, on a website. We wrote several emails to each other. I told my wife about the first (indeed showed it to her) but not the rest. She has been in an unhappy marriage but has been having a lot of fun over the last few years having lots of casual sex with men and women. I met her yesterday and we had a great afternoon talking about sex and we are emailing each other. My wife doesn't know.



    My ex, call her A, has been sleeping around after her sex life with her husband ended following the birth of her second child "I thought women of your age weren't interested" he told her. They have separate lives in the same house and he, she believes, knows nothing. A and I were together for 2 years and we broke up because we moved to different cities. We had a lot of fun together and she has great integrity.



    I find myself really jealous of her. Although I have had a wonderful sex life, with my wife and with A before, I never really had casual sex. My wife and I used to have threesomes with men and women but have not done so for many years and I don't think we will do again. I really miss these adventures. Yes, despite, promise, wonderful sex with my wife. I, probably, almost certainly, think about sex much more than S (my wife) and sometimes am a little frustrated that she doesn't want more but until I met A, I thought it was fine. Of course, it's quite easy to relieve yourself.



    But, I want to go to bed with A and, particularly, her male and female lovers. I am finding the thought overwhelmingly exciting. She hasn't suggested it and maybe we shall just write each other erotic emails and that's it.



    I've already behaved badly in deceiving my wife by seeing A. Having sex with A would be far worse. I'm sure I could find half baked justifications for deceiving my wife further and having sex with A but, I'd be fooling myself. A is in a quite different situation; her husband has for a major part of her life, in effect, abandoned her. she is perfectly justified in her deception in my view.



    If you would take what I have said at face value, I'd be curious to know how you would feel. Please, I'm not looking for advice, the only advice is have no contact with A. How would you feel if you were I?
     
  2. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

    I suggest you start thinking with your head and heart instead of your penis! Your wife has been there for you for 24 years through all the good and bad. If you love her like you say then do right by her. If the urge to be sexually free is more then the love you have for her then move on and let her have an honest life.
     
  3. Homie_B

    Homie_B Member

    Dude, you said your wife and you "used" to have sex with other men and women in the past. your ex, A, also likes to do the same. Talk to your wife man, see if she's with it, attempt to get a threesome with the wife and ex if possible or get another group session.


    My story is sort of the same. My ex was a sexual freak, those few years were awesome and i miss them but mainy because my wife doesnt do half of what my ex did. I speak to my ex here and there and she sends me offers and it takes a lot out of me to say no.

    Soooo...i wouldnt do it, you got too much to lose if your wife says no to anything and you go ahead and smash your ex, A.
     
  4. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    I would want to met up with her again & see what she looks like & what's she's' been up to over the years. I had a similar thing happen recently & although I didn't know her as a girlfriend at all, we knew each other several years ago - about 15 years or so ago?
    She still looks nice & has had a few major problems to deal with over those years. Haven't seen her lately thou but keep my mobile number in my pocket in the hope she may want together somewhere private sometime for a descent chat.
     
  5. I saw my first boyfriend again after not seeing him for 12 years. (this was 3.5 yrs ago)... it was weird and intense... I felt exactly the same way about him and him me... we didn't have a bad break up or anything ... we had just kinda moved away from each other and apart... I regret meeting up with him because I don't need those types of complications in my marriage... I haven't talked to him since I met up with him (okay I texted with him for a couple weeks) but then I was smart enough to run and not look back...
     
  6. wobs

    wobs Senior Member

    dreamaway 777 i love youre honesty, a trait that many dont show
     
  7. wobs

    wobs Senior Member

    sometimes it happen, iit is shit, but we have to work our way through it, hip forums is a brilliant place to talk to people
     

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