a few random comments...

my boobs are as big as my head, i think it's gross. however, i do amuse myself from time to time by wearing my bra as a hat.

i hate snow. every time the ice melts off my street, we get another 6 inches of snow. fuck snow.

i alternate crappy romance novels with horror novels, because i'm fucking sick of intellectual stimulation.

i like smallville, the lex luthor guy is so sexy.

i like totally bald men with big noses.

my husband's aunt has hit on me before. it was really funny. she's cool.

 

So do you have a small head or big tits...wait, big tits thats right.....

How old is your husbands aunt, how old is the oldest person you have hooked up with?

 

that would be my husband. he's 33. he has very short hair and a nice big nose.

 

i also think i'm really funny. nothing amuses me more than my own jokes.

and i really love making people spew beverages from laughing so hard. this happens more often than you would think if you hate me and think i'm not funny.

 

i'm also embarassed by the size and shape of my hands. i keep them moving at all times in social situations so that people can't get a good look at them.

 

my wife sleeps on my nose sometimes...makes me a little self concious.

we almost got divorced last night, but now we are back together.

I'm a little self concious of my feet.


i think you are funny, but I think I am too so you might want to take that with a grain of salt.

 

i'd really love to meet myself. i think i would find me fascinating and a brilliant conversationalist.

i have flintstone feet.

 

i don't think your nose is big enough to sleep on accidentally. i think your wife is trying to smother you. you should leave her...for me.

 

I think Lex is sexy too. Me-ow, baby whoohoo!

 

I would love to beat the hell out of myself, would be a good way to commit suicide.


So your feet make good brakes then?


My sister had a baby and my whole family says he got my feet while laughing.....I'm going to beat the hell out of myself.

 

you're not speaking in your best Joe Friday tones. adjust and return, please.

 

quote: don't think your nose is big enough to sleep on accidentally. i think your wife is trying to smother you. you should leave her...for me.


You might be right, the next time she says she is running into the grocery store to get one thing and comes out after spending 92.50 I will divorce her.

 

your nephew got your feet while laughing?

i was inlove with my best friend in high school. i still fantasize about him sometimes. he's a devout jehovah's witness. i'm going to hell.

 

When I was a teenager my grandma said you would think you were 200 pounds if someone just saw your hands, ever since than I try to hide them and ask the manicurist to do it to make my fingers look thinner. My grandma gave me issues):

 

good plan. she's obviously not sensitive to you financial needs. so why should you be sensitive to her emotional needs? i bet she complains about the toilet seat being up.

 

my hands are small, yet chubby, like a baby's...

much like my voice. i should be quiet during sex, since it's just wrong.

 

I'm not sure if my nephew was laughing when he got my feet because he was inside my sister at the time and I don't look in there anymore

everyone was so excited when he was born, but now he cries non-stop, I hope i start liking him more.

 

place him in a bush for a day, he'll stop crying eventually. repeat whenever he starts up again. soon he'll be a good hunter and tracker.

i've taught my daughter to say things like "i'm funny" and "i'm so good" when she accomplishes something. a big ego is cute on a baby.

 

I think my nephew might be stupid...he's about 2 months old and still can't talk or walk....

Not abad idea about putting him in the bush...maybe I'll sneak into their house , steal him, and stick him in some random bush that only I know about...then I will go on vacation for a month, and see how he is when I get back.

i like your daughter already, looks like she will have the skills she needs to make it in this world.

 

indeed.

i like answering the door for the pizza braless. it amuses me.