I spent some time with a long time friend the other day as it's been about 10 years since we've seen each other. We've been friends a long time as we'd get together with the wives every Sunday to watch the NFL games. He's been divorced for some 18 years and hasn't had much luck keeping a woman as he's gone through some 4-5 girlfriends over those years. He began telling me how he is considering having oral sex with men and possibly anal since his luck with women leaves him frustrated, lonely, and unsatisfied. I played the listening role as I wasn't prepared to let him know that I'm bisexual and would enjoy being his first. I just didn't feel right bringing that out to him even though he divulged to me his desires but I did reply "Yeah, I've been curious about stuff like that myself". It was good to hang out with him again and we made plans to it again in the future. I got home and told my wife about the conversation. She said I should have exposed myself to him as I probably could have answered many more questions he may have had. I told my wife the next time she can come along and maybe it will inspire me to break the ice with him because I didn't want to do anything without her knowledge and support.
Guess it depends on the situation. Did this conversation take place in person or text? Would you have had the opportunity to do anything if either had made a move? If so, he was probably wanting you to initiate since you said u were also interested. If no privacy permitted, that's why nothing happened. Next time you talk to him, make sure it's a time and place where the two of u are alone and can have privacy. Find a way to bring the topic back up
The conversation took place in person at a local pub. I'm willing to allow him to experiment with his sexuality with my involvement but just not sure what it may do to our friendship.
Does your friend have any knowledge of your bisexuality, say from a mutual friend? Or was he expressing his own frustrations? If the latter, he was probably hoping you would have some insight to his situation. Admitting that you had similar feelings can be the opening to take things further the next time you meet. Let him know you are interested in helping him explore his options. Meet where the two of you can undress. Let him feel your cock. If he wants to do more, let him. If he asks questions, answer them. If he sucks your cock, cum for him. This way he will have the full oral experience. Even if he stops sucking before you cum, expect him to have first-time cock sucking guilt. Reassure him that he is still the same person he was before and that we all have the same feelings. Let him know that if he decides M2M sex is not for him, that only the two of you know and it does not change your friendship with him. If he is still interested, go where the moment leads. There is a special responsibility for a man who lets another man perform his first blowjob.
It's good you made future plans with him, and at least shared your interest in the topic. Otherwise, I bet this guy was nervous as could be sharing that with you, and would have thought you were trying to back away & flee from his revalation. I bet he had an inkling of suspicion from knowing you well, and thought the 10 year absence made it safe to broach the topic with you. If you were to have reacted negatively to his thoughts, he wouldn't have lost someone in his daily inner circle, but figured you'd keep quiet. Your wife is definitely a keeper, with how warmly she embraces this. If it were any other woman being there when you tell him more, it would make him nervous, but her warmth & enthusiasm for you being bi will put him at ease with how matter of fact normal it is for you both. You may want to invite him to your home on a weekend afternoon, to put him at ease from being overheard at a pub. Or go all out for the fun "surprise" factor. Have Tom over, you sucking him, let your wife open the door, for him. Say you & friend were too busy "dicking" around in the kitchen to greet him. Since her mouth wasn't full she thought she'd get you and bring you back. Watch the surprise, shock, him getting excited, nervous, then looking at your wife to read her reaction. She could say I told you they were dicking around in the kitchen, & my mouth wasn't full, they do this all the time, laugh, then say let me take over on Tom for you, so you two can talk, then go down on Tom herself. You could then start with, you know that conversation we had the other day ... I'm not responsible if you do that & he has a heart attack before realizing it was a good natured joke!
Ok. Well, if you can get him alone (invite him to watch sports or whatever) then find a way to bring it back up.
As far as I know he has no clue that I'm bisexual. In all honesty when he told me of his desires to experiment with another man it totally caught me off guard which is why I kept my response short and sweet. From what I remember all those years ago he was a really nice guy, and still seems to be, he's very fit for 57 years old (I'm 56) and is obviously confused and frustrated and having a difficult time keeping hold of a woman in his life. I did gather from his conversation that his choice in women hasn't been the greatest as he's always focused mainly on looks versus personality and compatibility. I'd mentioned to him that a relationship is not just about sex you know as there are more things to it then just that. Anyway, he had also mentioned that in his younger years he'd been hit on by gay men and always shrugged it off with no interest what-so-ever but recently has been considering it. I just assured him that his sexual preferences are his own and nobody else's business so there is no reason to be ashamed. Our conversation didn't go much deeper than that as I had to get going but did exchange contact information and told him what he shared with me will stay with me. My wife wants me to invite him over to our house some evening which I will attempt to do this week some time. He's obviously confused and possibly a bit scared of the feelings and desires he's experiencing so perhaps I and possibly my wife can be of some help to him to at least understand what he is feeling is quite common within men whom mature into their 50's. We'll see how things go. First off, I'm not looking to hop into bed with him as my plate is quite full being married to a great woman while also having a relationship with a bisexual couple. Trust me, at times it's more than I can handle but the idea of a third guy has drawn my attention. For now I'd just like to be a listening ear and provide him with any reassuring advise that I can.
Well, as promised he called Saturday and asked me if I'd like to get together for a couple of beers. I told him he was more than welcome to come watch football Sunday because my wife was going shopping with her mother all afternoon. He asked if I still had a keg behind the bar and I replied "Is the Pope Catholic?"...He was up for it and said he'd pick up a few dozen wings at a local Pub that is known for the best around. So Sunday morning my wife leaves just before lunch (11AM) as they were stopping for lunch before going shopping and said she'd be home around 6PM knowing he was stopping over and encouraged me to get him talking and tell him I'm bisexual so I can possibly help with how me may/may not be feeling with some reassuring advice. I told her if he brings the subject up I will but my plans are to let him start any conversations about what he had told me two weeks ago. He arrives around 12:30 as the pre-game is on and we chow down on the wings he brought and toss down a couple of beers. It was just after the first quarter that he began talking on the subject and I gave him my full attention as he asked me to turn the volume down. Him: You remember what we talked about a couple weeks ago? Me: You mean about you considering having sex with another man? Him: Yeah, and I have to tell you something... Me: WAIT! I need to tell you something first so just sit back and listen. I'm bisexual and so is my present wife (I was married to another woman when he and I hung out 10 years ago) so anything you may be feeling I have been there myself and just want you to know I will understand anything you have to say about what you're feeling, want to do, or have done. Him: Really?, I would have never thought. Me: Yes my friend so anything you have to say is kept between us as I want to help in any way I can to assure you that anything you are thinking or feeling is quite normal in men our age. It's understanding it and coping with it that is the hardest part and that too I'm hoping I can help you with by hearing it from someone who's travelled that road long before you. Him: Damn, I can't believe it but I'm really glad to hear you tell me this. So how long ago did you? Me: Just about 30 years ago. Getting BJ's before giving BJ's and trust me I've given a lot of them to a lot of men which I don't suggest you do as I was very irresponsible with my urges that led to cravings. Him: Holy Shit, so you were sucking dick in your first marriage. Me: Yes, but I was doing so behind her back (not proud of it) and coming home and having sex with her and she knew nothing...Again, not a great thing to do my friend. Him: So, what started you down this path? Me: I'd always been obsessed with my own dick and after serving in the military I found myself more obsessed with dicks, mainly BIG COCKS and I saw many in the military showers but never acted anything out. Him: Yeah, I've always felt that way since I was a teenager but never acted upon it either. Now I'm becoming more obsessed with them, watching porn and wanting to touch, stroke, and try sucking one. Me: Your feelings and desires are totally normal and it does not mean you are gay, you may be, but it's no guarantee you are. And BTW, there is nothing wrong with you if you do eventually determine you are gay. Him: I know that but it would be difficult to accept from a lot of people I know. Me: It is a struggle for most people to absorb which is why nobody knows but my wife, our lovers, and now you. Him: You have lovers? Me: Yes, my wife and I have a M/F couple we share our bed and lives with and it's a wonderful thing for all four of us. I'll stop here as it's getting too long for most to read but he and I spoke for almost three hours and missed most of the game. No, nothing happened between us but I did tell him that if he's wanting to pursue anything with another man sexually to please consider me as I have my wife's blessing, I'm willing, and would never do something force-full against his wishes. I also told him IF anything were to happen between us he needs to get documentation of an HIV test as I have a current one (I'm 100% clean) for myself. I don't use condoms and I'm not going to start but if all he wants to do is suck a dick he's more than welcome to suck on mine. It was a great afternoon and I feel I helped him out a lot. Kudos to ME!
You handled that well. I suspect he will have more questions for you and hope he builds the courage to actually participate. If it happens, I know you will be a good host. It is a special privilege to be the recipient of a man's first blowjob. (And to give a man his first blowjob.)
Good for you. Respect for helping out your friend. And thank God for understanding and encouraging wives!
I've decide to continue this "thread" into a separate one of it's own to be titled "His curiosity is Over". I'll continue the story of how this man, with my help and understanding was encouraged to outwardly express his inner, hidden, sexual desires and curiosities that are constantly on his mind. I've been in this man's shoes and was lucky to have someone do the same for me so I am paying it forward as we all know how difficult it can be. Again, look for the thread titled "His curiosity is Over"...It will most likely be a long read but I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I enjoyed helping out a fellow man.
